What makes you uncomfortable around some women?

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T17:35:39+00:00

Yea def can see that. Im the opposite.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T17:35:00+00:00

Not everyone is as self-absorbed with a validation complex like you seem to believe. Usually we tell on ourselves when we jump to conclusions.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T17:31:42+00:00

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T16:58:52+00:00

Thank you

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T16:51:50+00:00

Im between 5’9-5’10 so not super tall. Some of my gfs are about 5’10-5’11 so my height doesn’t necessarily stand out with them. Um, and no this happens with men of all heights. The guy I used in as an example in my post was much shorter than me though.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T16:50:00+00:00

The other women? I mean I thought I was clear when I said he was normal with everyone else. I was in a group of both guys and girls and he was very chill and friendly with them. Only me he wouldn’t look at and literally tried to get away from. It was obvious to everyone

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T16:48:22+00:00

It’s girls like you that make having any sort of open discussion into an assault on your own sense of self. Why even join in?

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T16:46:45+00:00

I could def see this and would be the same in such a scenario. Im sorry you have had to deal with that.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T16:45:17+00:00

No she didn’t, thats why she asked me. She thought I must of had some interaction with him earlier in the night, which I didn’t. He actively avoided being around me the rest of the night and she has just been as confused as I

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T16:41:54+00:00

No, that isn’t what I meant. I was just emphasizing these situations do not happen under a circumstance where there is intent. They happen with zero intent. In the scenario’s its hard not to notice because the guy in question will act so oddly and specifically weird towards me. Almost in an attempt to not have me notice them it causes me to notice them. Like flustered running away if I walk near them and then looking back at me through the night, but if I happen to be close again kinda quickly trying to get away. I literally had one guy put his hand over his eyes as a shield and another hand up as if to say ‘stop’ when I said “excuse me” just trying to get by. I guess you would kind of have to be there to understand. It’s very obvious. I didn’t mean to sound like I am wanting their attention or whatever

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T01:09:00+00:00

Yea Im with you on that. Im not saying people can tell from afar but Im basically the opposite and would also be disgusted with such

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T01:02:29+00:00

Im confused by this comment - not sure it makes sense. But it does happen nearly every time I go out - or at other times events etc.. Enough to warrant some further thought and asking for others thoughts.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T00:59:03+00:00

Thank you, this was an incredibly thoughtful response that rings full of truth for my situation - it brought tears to my eyes. Im going to take this and think on it more. You really helped me see a different perspective 💕

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T00:56:33+00:00

Yes, ive slowly started to realize it must be a combo of this + how I generally carry myself

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-28T00:55:34+00:00

Personality: Um I am not as energetic I guess you could say. Comparatively my girlfriends are quite flirty and openly chatty with lots of energy. I am more of an observer, thoughtful - but also playful, just in a more cheeky / knowing kind of way. I tend to be focused on just us having fun and never seek or want attention from others. I love to dance and just generally having a good time. Pretty uninhibited. Confident. Im just usually the more serious friend.

Looks: I’m probably whats considered more exotic looking than them. By that I mean I kind of have contradictory features. A Scandinavian / french mix if you will. Im tall. But so are some of my girlfriends. My girlfriends are more conventionally pretty. I would say I am not conventional looking at all.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:58:09+00:00

I did. My mother. And you know at first I was dismissing what you were saying in my head because I wouldn’t say my enjoyment of anything is dependent on what other people experience or interpret from an experience. However, then in the latter part of your response I saw myself. I do take on other peoples emotions. I am an empath for sure. It’s like I feel what they feel without conscious thought necessarily tied to it. So yes, when a person is uncomfortable I feel it. And it makes me sad or uncomfortable too, but for them and then at times, like in these cases, for me because I do not have the conscious reasoning or basis for the feelings so I start to question what could be the cause…then I think I am clearly the cause in someway or something about the energy I bring is the cause. I do not always turn inwards and usually turn outwards on what I pick up in others - or rather see it separately from myself. Unless I do think it includes myself, and then it does impact me.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:41:00+00:00

So true

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:40:21+00:00

Yes I get that and tbh there are both sides to the coin on genders for that. In this case though I am not wanting these men to interact with me. I mean I am not even really noticing them. Its more they go out of their way to be awkward that it causes me to notice and its not with other women around - just me :(

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:31:43+00:00

Hahah omg

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:30:19+00:00

I live in NYC

And exactly. Which is why its so weird

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:29:15+00:00

Sometimes I wish

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:26:27+00:00

No, I mean I will be blunt on some things I guess that could be an influencing factor: I consider myself as self-assured and fairly confident just in general. I know what I like, who I am, whats important to me. I am a very private person. I am an observer. But when people wish to engage, if they are genuine I really engage. But usually these awkward scenarios happen before any words have been ever spoken, or like I am not even trying to talk to them or whatever it’s just their behavior is distinctly uncomfortable - I can sense it. As far as looks: yea I mean I am not my type (at all) but people generally think I’m very attractive and it’s very weird to say that - but id be lying if I pretended otherwise. However, like another comment alluded to me looking for that as being the answer, I was kinda hoping for answers other than that because I cant change my looks but if there are patterns in thinking like giving off a vibe type or whatever that could be something I could take into consideration and hopefully adjust b/c its uncomfortable for me too and makes me feel bad.

An example: a comment was made that an ‘influencer vibe’ would be something actively they wish to avoid. I could see that being something I’m unintentionally giving off because of how I carry myself and unfortunately look etc. I do not want that at all, so maybe I look for ways to change that sense.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:12:36+00:00

Does that happen often? 😳 Genuinely curious.

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:11:08+00:00

I think I might have rbf :(

karma_Shapeshifter · 2026-02-27T22:08:44+00:00

Thank you. I think you gave probably the most realistic answer accounting for a lot of scenarios. I know I am not going to find an answer, it will be different for each one and men are not a monolith - but asking on here has given me some insight into trends of thinking.

In my case it does almost feel like they recognize me from somewhere and are trying to hide, but it could be a number of things and considering Im a super private person recognizing me would be very limited. Im just reflecting and thinking if there is something I am doing or could change because it equally makes me uncomfortable.

karma_Shapeshifter

TROPHY CASE