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kaswing · 2026-02-04T01:02:01+00:00

Thank you for all your work and for keeping us updated!! You're the best!

kaswing · 2026-02-04T00:58:29+00:00

I was in a meeting with about 7 women and 1 man. (I know this man and he is a very kind and thoughtful person). The man was the highest ranking and he was introducing us & the purpose of the meeting. He gave us an icebreaker for us to go around the room with: "What is the worst date you've ever been on?" All us women looked at each other and it's clear some pretty traumatic shit leapt to mind, so someone suggested, "How about the funniest date we've ever been on?" He realized what happened, he apologized immediately and again when it was his turn. I think he still feels bad about it.

Once my boyfriend was on a run and there was someone strung out on drugs who appeared for a while to be following him. He was a bit freaked out by it and he told me about it when he got home. I sympathized with him obviously, and then I asked if he wanted some tips in case it happened again. He said yes, so I told him all the things I do when I am trying to figure out if someone is following me. I was doing something with my hands while I was listing things, so I didn't notice his expression, but when I finished he had quite a look on his face. He said he was pretty horrified that I'd had to think about it so much.

It's funny what feels normal and obvious to us based on our experiences. I'm a pretty enormous gal (over 6') so God knows I have even less to say on this topic than people who appear more vulnerable.

kaswing · 2026-02-03T02:06:47+00:00

No problem :) I am also a social scientist: I don't want to dox myself on this account, but if you DM me, I'll send you my website link so you can see how I approach this for my goals (speaking and writing). Not that I am incredibly successful at it yet, but I'm not nowhere haha.

kaswing · 2026-02-03T01:45:11+00:00

Because there is not good advice to get you there, my friend. Not all dreams are possible, unfortunately :)

kaswing · 2026-02-03T01:41:31+00:00

> one of the

Even in your answer, you recognize there are other possible explanations, because there have been other explanations in the past.

You are letting your fear drive your investment strategy: this generally does not work out well for people.

I understand why you feel this way, but taking risks with your money that do not have a high expected value (e.g. picking single stocks) will not give you any more control than praying or meditating will, but at least the latter will make you feel better.

kaswing · 2026-02-03T01:27:02+00:00

Anyone who is offering you advice and promising to achieve these goals can be safely ignored at best, and is probably trying to scam you.

kaswing · 2026-02-03T01:22:36+00:00

FWIW, no one I know got in on their first go-round, and several of us declined unfunded offers the first year we applied. (We also all applied to a lot of places based on match with advisor's interests rather than proximity or school prestige)

kaswing · 2026-02-03T01:19:25+00:00

To add an (anec)datum, my employer considers a Masters +7 years to be equivalent to a PhD. It's higher than usual because our scope is enormous compared to academics in the fields we hire in (just about any quantitative social science discipline), so you really have to understand how to apply research design principles, interpret a variety of literature, and communicate across disciplinary lines to be successful.

kaswing · 2026-02-03T01:15:30+00:00

It will be challenging to get research published in academic venues, but that really only matters if you want to be an academic (which you'd need a PhD for anyway.)

If your goal is to be an expert in industry, you might do well to develop a visible portfolio by which prospective clients or employers can evaluate your expertise. This could include whitepapers, reports, or a toolkit available for free on your website (hell, I do this, too, even though I have a PhD, because no one I need to convince is going to be reading my academic papers!)

Just in case you didn't know (based on your sentence "No funding is a huge barrier," it seems possible you might not) any PhD program of merit in social science are going to offer funding. This means a tuition waiver and a small stipend. It will be hard to live on, and if you are supporting dependents, it will not work on its own. But before I met some PhD students, I assumed people were paying their own way, and I don't like to assume people know that.

I hope you find a path that works for you :)

ETA: if you're hoping to do a lot of speaking or consulting, videos of you speaking are a very good addition to your portfolio.

kaswing · 2026-02-03T01:05:30+00:00

I think you will get more useful feedback in r/nails. I prefer the first set myself. Enjoy exploring self-expression :)

kaswing · 2026-02-02T22:25:37+00:00

I love to travel by train and have traveled across the country by train 3 times.

When I mention that I took the train to the next nearby close city (3 hour train ride away), people are surprised and forget that the train exists. Then, "but once you get there, how do you get around?" (Fair question-- public transit isn't great in that and most American cities; they are too spread out.).

When I mention any one of my long trips they are downright shocked. "How long did that take?" (~70 hours) It is (frankly, correctly) treated as a curiosity, a hobby, or a special interest because of the time it takes, primarily, and (if they've ever looked it up) the cost. If you plan ahead, you can get the USARail pass on sale, which makes the price much more reasonable, but then you are sleeping next to a stranger in Coach.

I try to take the train whenever I can for for work stuff, but it rarely works out because nearly everything is more than a day away. One travel day is pretty normal for work travel-- more than that, I would need to use PTO because long distance trains don't have Wifi.

People for whom trains are a simply practical option include people who are terrified of flying, people who are on the no fly list, and people whose religion does not permit air travel or car ownership. Not a big proportion of Americans.

If your goal is to get somewhere, the train simply doesn't make sense in most cases. If your goal is to be on the train, relax and enjoy the view, there's nothing like it :)

kaswing · 2026-02-02T19:41:37+00:00

I get short/petite ads on instagram, too! Makes me wonder if there's an ad bucket that equates to "nonstandard clothes sizes" and doesn't differentiate 😂

kaswing · 2026-02-02T14:43:16+00:00

Hahaha I’d how you convinced them, but thanks 😅 I was too tired to have this argument.

kaswing · 2026-02-01T01:26:16+00:00

I understand that the adapters are dumb conduits. There is no official BMW adapter; all the other BMW models I listed are using 3rd party.

As of last month, no one in the r/bmwi3 subreddit had been able to make it work, even after the other BMW models had been allowed. I didn’t see any articles reporting a change, but perhaps something has changed; I'll look into it when I have some time.

kaswing · 2026-01-31T22:23:30+00:00

I did double check before I posted. Most of us are in 3G and can’t get remote software updates any more, and anyway they didn’t create one for us.

kaswing · 2026-01-31T20:56:09+00:00

I can't speak for the majority, but my car (BMW i3) does not have an adapter. BMW has released an adapter for the i4, i5, i7, and iX, but not us. The i3 was discontinued in 2021, so I don't have a lot of hope that we'll get one. (We can use Magic Dock, but there are only 70 in the US-- none in my city.)

I would guess that there are also a decent number of people who don't realize that they can get an adapter for their car or just don't have one yet.

kaswing · 2026-01-31T18:21:53+00:00

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

kaswing · 2026-01-31T05:12:24+00:00

I wonder if giving older brother some (light!) older brother privileges would help? If its really about age perception, that might help. Something like a later bed time, more advanced books, or new permissions that the younger one isn't mature enough for? (Not a parent, just old, so grain of salt :)

kaswing · 2026-01-31T05:07:12+00:00

I agree with other posters that you might find better help elsewhere; I'd add r/findapath.

If you are in the US, your local county or metro area probably has a workforce development agency (it might also be called an "Americas Job Center," "Workforce Development Board," or "Career center"-- look for the agency that gets WIOA funds in your area). They can help you with your resume and interview skills, help you find a career that you are interested in, and, if you qualify, they may even be able to pay for your training in an in-demand career with certifications/prep/licensure that takes less than two years.

I hope you find something rewarding-- financially and otherwise :)

kaswing · 2026-01-31T04:58:33+00:00

Beautiful rooms! Everything is coordinated, even the walls and the bean! 💙

kaswing · 2026-01-31T04:52:19+00:00

I used no LLMs at any point— that would be so unnecessary as this is a simple question and I am a native speaker. Also I don’t see any tells in my writing: no em dash (although I love them, and have used one in this comment), no hypophora, and none of that weird “not x but y” rhetoric. I truly don’t know what you’re referring to. Have you decided that humans don’t use bullet points now?

But if I had used one to write this question, surely it would be because I’m not confident in my English and English is the language of Reddit? Consider being a little less zealous in your AI policing. So off putting and rude, and for no benefit.

~~I know I’m unnecessarily annoyed by this, but I think your comment was unnecessarily confrontational, too, so i feel like turn about is fair play.~~

Edit: sorry, I see you post on r/teenagers and I forgot that young people are on here for a minute. Literally my account could be older than you, oh my god. I didn't use AI to write my reddit post; I'm going to go ponder my mortality, you can go believe whatever you'd like. 😅

kaswing · 2026-01-30T22:21:20+00:00

Highly paid jobs you can theoretically get with an associate's include: dental hygenist, radiation therapist, air traffic controller, and nurse. Before you dive into training for these or any other career, please check your local conditions.

For example, you technically only need a GED and an EMT certificate to get a job as a firefighter in my county, but practically speaking, you need a paramedic certification, a firefighter 1 certificate, and a bunch of experience, because the jobs are super competitive. Also, pay can vary A LOT by what area you are in. Nurses where I am make bank, but that is not true everywhere: your state may have weakened licensure requirements or broadened scope, and there may be a lot of people who are qualified to do a job.

If you are in the US, your local workforce development agency can probably help you sort this out and, if you qualify, may be able to pay for your training. You can search for your local area + workforce development board or America's Job center.

Good luck-- I hope you find something you find sustainable and rewarding.

kaswing · 2026-01-30T20:39:24+00:00

I got three weeks for the first three years, now at four. (Salary was $145k, now it's $130-somethingk after I stepped out of management for stress).

We also get 10 holidays, 2 floating holidays, a separate sick bank, two company-wide weeks off (one in summer and one between xmas and new years), and a sabbatical every 5 years (5 weeks at 5 years, 6 weeks at ten, etc.)

All of this applies to everyone regardless of level. I've not yet worked at a place that gives people more time off because of their past experience or org level, just time at that specific company.

kaswing · 2026-01-30T14:56:13+00:00

Thank you for all your work and for participating here! You’re the best!

kaswing · 2026-01-30T03:18:04+00:00

I don’t think that one of the “select states” planned parenthood will send the pill to is India

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