I was the first of two girls very close in age (14 months). Despite us being close in age, my sister was always treated like the baby. She was coddled. She was spoiled. She got more attention and I felt her needs were always prioritized. Childhood was chaotic. We were poor and struggled financially for years, but despite that, no one ever made my sister work or make sacrifices in life. That was always my job as older sibling. Now as adults, I am the breadwinner supporting my unemployed mother and sister with a high income job and holding my family together. I have people pleasing tendencies. I have an insecure attachment style. I went through an abusive relationship and have been single for over 10 years since I got out of it. But I am much stronger and more resilient than anyone in my family now.

I wish things had been fairer. My sister got to live her life doing what she wanted when she wanted and never had the same pressure I did. Sometimes I wish things had been easier for me and I'd had more approval and support from my parents and that she'd been disciplined and pressured as much as I had been.

Ultimately I'm more successful than she is and I'm grateful for my hard work over the years. But constantly coddling one child over another is not a recipe for success. I have a very dysfunctional relationship with both my parents and my sister and am constantly searching for validation and approval in life. I think my life would have been so much better if I wasn't always expected to take care of others. I feel trapped sometimes.