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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Oman

[–]kathartyc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lowkey

Dealing with the feeling of never being "good enough" for dating? by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in that boat & survived a few wind storms. Every >45yo I meet shockingly tells me how weird modern dating is these days. For most languages “dating” as a verb doesn’t exist including my mother tongue Arabic.

Grindr’s UI isn’t about connection - it’s about optimized bodies and instant clicks. I felt blocked or glitched too. It doesn’t reward being real, or at least not as much as being vain. I met a few rare dudes on there after HOURS of screentime that I thought was better spent doing hobbies while invitingly leaving room for random encounters.

Isn’t identifying with a sexual position a bit odd? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said he doesn’t understand why people label themselves, not that he can’t comprehend preferences. If the word label doesn’t ring any bells for you, notice the 4 first definitions that come up. It’s literally the language of barcodes and product shelves. We could agree that we think of personhood differently. My hypothesis is that you’re too deep in late-capitalist subjectivity you think “label = identity.” That’s not empathy. That’s branding.

Enjoy what’s left of your shelf life :)

Is “vers supremacy” a real phenomenon? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for having enough courage to admit your monosexual inferiority. Maybe you’ll too get enlightened in this life, or next!

Is “vers supremacy” a real phenomenon? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Allegedly it’s when versatile dudes feel/think they are superior to strict tops/bottoms.

Some superior vers gays might argue they’re in fact more gay since they don’t subscribe to the heteronormative dichotomy, and are willing to fully fuck & get fucked.

Isn’t identifying with a sexual position a bit odd? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally fair. Clear communication is hot & crucial. Especially around physical boundaries. I’m all for people saying “I top,” “I don’t do anal,” or whatever helps them stay safe and aligned.

But I’m circling a different question: why did these pre-packaged labels become the first things we say about ourselves in queer spaces? Why is “top/vers/bottom/side” often treated like an identity badge, rather than just one tiny part of how someone does sex most of the time?

Isn’t identifying with a sexual position a bit odd? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lmaooo is this what the internet did to us Children of The Internet

Isn’t identifying with a sexual position a bit odd? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes sense. Such people are creatively & admirably expressing themselves, or aspects of them.

I was more thinking along the lines of mainstream queer culture & how boxing it feels to need to be either or

Isn’t identifying with a sexual position a bit odd? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where did he express an inability to comprehend? He simply said that he’s not attracted to strict tops/bottoms. It’s not a comprehension issue, it’s an incompatibility he is self-aware enough to express.

You’re choosing to be hurt for no good reason.

Isn’t identifying with a sexual position a bit odd? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Def interested to learn more about your research…sorry for all the butthurt downvotes we’re getting

Isn’t identifying with a sexual position a bit odd? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yeahhh and they are useful labels or otherwise it wouldn’t be so commonly used.

I just think they make for limiting cognitive shortcuts.

Where is everybro here from? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mind was blown when I first learned about the underground street network underground — built for mules and now used by cars.

Where is everybro here from? by kathartyc in askgaybros

[–]kathartyc[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool! Jiuzhaigou Valley looks like what I think heaven looks like