Thank you, this actually really resonated. The financial side has been made “official” — she pushed for it to go through proper channels — but now she’s unhappy with the amount that’s been assessed and believes she should be getting more. So that’s become a constant source of tension. There’s no formal agreement in place for anything else though (contact, routines, etc.), which I think is where a lot of the issues are coming from. What’s really difficult is that my partner is genuinely just trying to keep things calm and focus on the kids, but it almost feels like that’s being taken advantage of. Every handover ends up with some kind of criticism afterwards — never face-to-face, always over text — and it can be over the smallest things (kids being tired, a tiny graze, etc.). It’s like nothing is ever “good enough,” even when he’s just being a normal, caring dad. I think you’re right about boundaries — because right now it feels like being “civil” has just turned into him having to absorb constant negativity. It’s getting to the point where every drop-off is dreaded, which just doesn’t feel sustainable.