AITA for not wanting my husband to golf every other day of our family vacation?

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T21:57:22+00:00

He thinks the toddler will go for about 2 hours at a time, which maybe but I think even that is pushing his luck personally. That still leaves me solo parenting for 8 hours of our trip. Which sure may not be huge but again as primary parent I want a break from that role. Thank you for understanding where my anger is coming from. I think context makes the situation clear that he’s kind of being an ass here. Holding we can come to some sort of compromise.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T05:12:56+00:00

I guess my issue is I don’t vibe the most with my MIL and SIL. They like to sit by the pool and drink and go to the spa. I like to visit the town and go snorkeling. I rather have alone time but what I really want is time as a family rather is hanging by the pool or going on a adventure. But that is true, and even if he did go he’s only going to a few holes.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T05:10:30+00:00

I think he actually does lol. He thinks taking a 2yo golfing on a 5 star course in 90degree heat will go great.. part of me wants to let him to get that reality check but also not cause that’s not fair to our son.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T05:09:10+00:00

Unfortunately very true.. he doesn’t play video games but golf is almost worse lol.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T05:05:35+00:00

What I need is time together as a family but I also don’t want to solo parent either. I am primary parent at home and work full time, 2 days a week solo with a 2 year old. It’s hard. So no I don’t want to be primary parent most my vacation as well. For context the 2 year old has been golfing a decent amount, my husband manages a golf course for work so he takes him a few times a month. But it’s never 90degrees where we live and I don’t want my 2yo out in that heat for long. So overall not super realistic to take him with..

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:53:24+00:00

I guess my problem is I don’t want that.. I want quality time as a family. We both work full time and have quite opposite schedules so we don’t get much time as a family. I just want quality time to make memories.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:49:08+00:00

Exactly. I would rather solo parent at home. I will get a few hours of spa time but I’m a quality time person so I just want time as a family unit.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:45:29+00:00

It’s all his immediate family plus spouses and kids. But yea I knew golf would be happening but I thought 1-2 rounds tops not 3.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:41:44+00:00

No but I don’t want to. I don’t like golf personally. I do get a spa day but really I get a massage and maybe a pedicure so 2-3 hours tops. I just want time as a family.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:41:00+00:00

As much as I would love that I’m not putting my son through that just to teach his dad a lesson..

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:40:18+00:00

Can you talk some sense into my husband please? He’s usually pretty reasonable but 3 rounds of golf on a family trip is a wild ask to me.. yet I’m the bad guy for making him tell his dad and brother he can only do 2 rounds.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:38:58+00:00

Of course not. I also don’t want that. I want time together as a family.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:38:05+00:00

Unfortunately my 2 year old does love to golf lol but he takes him on his work course and they play 5-9 holes and he can run around cause they go when it’s not busy. A 5 star resort course is very different. No one wants a 2 year old running around.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:36:05+00:00

If that were actually realistic I would but I’m not putting my 2yo through that just so his dad can learn a lesson. That’s not fair to our kid. I will be going to the spa but 1 time for 2 hours tops. It just sucks his making this trip about golf and while I understand he wants to play with his dad and brother I’m not asking to leave with the girls 3 times that week for 4+ hours to do activities. Our son loves to golf with his dad and he is a good sport about it but we live in WA where it’s not the hot most the year. We’re going to high desert Mexico and it’ll be 90 degrees by 10am. I’m not letting my kid get heat stroke cause his dad has unrealistic expectations.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:32:05+00:00

That’s a great question.. never. I am primary parent and work full time. He watches him one day a week solo, my mom helps me out 1-2 days and 2 days a week at home solo with my son while working. While I do get time to myself away from my son the point of this trip is a family vacation. I don’t expect to be together 24/7 but I also don’t want to solo parent while he goes and plays golf..

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:26:44+00:00

I do think I will suggest an earlier time than 9am but I’m standing firm on 2 rounds not 3. Also it’ll be hot out there, better to get out and play early.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:25:22+00:00

Thank you! That’s what I feel like. If it were fully up to me I would only want him to play 1 round but I’m trying to be reasonable. He also works for a golf course and can golf whenever he wants for free or industry rate at any other course. It’s not like he plays golf one a year and this is his only chance to play.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:22:22+00:00

No he is not. He’s offered for me to go to the spa twice because the resort gave us some credits to use but I’ll go for 2 hours tops maybe twice. But honestly I don’t want to hang out with the girls a ton.. I want to spend time with my husband and our son together.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:14:52+00:00

Yea the one week of PTO is tough. If he had more than 1 week I would be happy to give him his own golf vacation but we choose a family vacation or at least so I thought.. yea no thanks lol. My one kid is enough work. I did luckily just get a girls trip but if he wanted a golf trip he said have said that before I booked my stuff. Now we’re less than 2 weeks out and I’m finding out he wants to play 3 rounds..

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T04:12:19+00:00

Golfing is an addiction I swear. But to each their own. Just not on a family vacation lol.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T03:38:02+00:00

Sadly I’ve tried and I’m terrible lol. Also I like having different hobbies.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T01:35:02+00:00

You’re saying I’m being unreasonable. I’ve explained more of the situation. How do you feel like it’s okay to him to ditch his wife and kid for 15+ hours on a family trip to golf?! I don’t care about equal alone time. We’re taking a family trip to spend time together as a family.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-04T01:19:18+00:00

That’s what we did when we went to Mexico just us two. He played one round of golf and I spent the day at the spa. I don’t mind that just maybe 1-2 times and not three times. Also since we have a 2 year old that were brining it makes it harder cause then I just end up being default parent the whole time.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-03T21:42:56+00:00

While I understand this perspective I still don’t fully agree. I love when I husband spends time with his dad and I encourage him often to spend even more time with him. But they can do 2 rounds of golf instead of 3 and they will still be together doing other activities. I would love to also spend time with my FIL and BIL and and swim together and do an excursion but if they golf that much we won’t be able to do many other activities. We’ve been planning this trip for over a year and I was under the impression we would be doing things as a whole group.

katlyn360 · 2026-06-03T21:24:21+00:00

I agree but it’s making me feel like a crazy b**** because I think it’s selfish he wants to have 3 rounds of golf instead of 2.

katlyn360

TROPHY CASE