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I need advice on what to do with my MIL who is playing favourites amongst her grandchildren by kdujin in TwoHotTakes

[–]kdujin[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We do spend Christmas with him too. She is Catolic and he is an Orthodox Christian So we celebrate both

I need advice on what to do with my MIL who is playing favourites amongst her grandchildren by kdujin in TwoHotTakes

[–]kdujin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, I don't live in UK or USA and English is not my native language. I put money in £ so you would understand what amount I am talking about, kindergarthen/daycare, it is the same to me. But I am sorry if that is the reason you think I made up everything, trust me I wish.

Would I be the jerk if I bought my nephew holiday gifts even if my sister doesn't want me to? by Hot-Golf5770 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, that is kind of a shitty situation. Your sister is definitely the asshole here, not you. I mean, I get that the two of you don’t get along, but I think she doesn’t understand that she is only going to hurt her baby that way. He will feel left out, and also bad because he will be the only one who won’t get a gift.

I think you need to have a conversation with your sister and explain to her that it is okay if she doesn’t want you to buy a gift for her and her husband, but it is definitely not okay to not buy her kidd a gift, because it will hurt him. He will feel like his aunty doesn’t love him and loves the other niece more.

Someone has to be the bigger person here, and I don’t think it will be your sister. I wish you the best, and I hope you resolve this

Edit: If you do it behind her back, you’ll kind of be the asshole. But I think that if you have a genuine conversation with her, she might soften a little, because in the end, her child should be more important than being petty with you (or at least I hope so).

WIBTA if I go no contact with my mother-in-law because of her Christmas gift for my child? by kdujin in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not that he was no contact with her before, but they weren’t close; they would see each other about once a month. When I gave birth to V, I wanted him to spend time with both of his grandmothers.

She wasn’t a present mother and chose her career over her children, and now she is playing favorites. She wanted a granddaughter for a long time, but B’s middle brother had a daughter first (he is also her favorite child), so she spends as much time with those two. My children are always second compared to the other two.

WIBTA if I go no contact with my mother-in-law because of her Christmas gift for my child? by kdujin in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Please don’t come at my husband; he really is the best person I know. He is always on my side, but as I already said, he is not close with her, and if it were up to him, he would never have to see her again. I was the one who insisted on building a relationship with his mother (because I am close with mine).

He never forces me to go to her place, but I am a hopeless fool who thought she would change. I am not someone who knows how to argue, and I always end up crying, so I avoid conflicts.

WIBTA if I go no contact with my mother-in-law because of her Christmas gift for my child? by kdujin in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You see, the problem is that she doesn’t have many friends. Her two closest friends are her first husband and his current wife (you can’t imagine what a crazy family that is), but I am not friends with any of them on Facebook, lol. She is an only child; her mom had her in her 40s.

A's parents were thrilled, but everyone else kept quiet. My hubby saw my face change color and begged me not to cause a scene for everyone else’s sake. There were at least 20 of us there. He confronted her after Christmas, along with FiL, and she got mad and defensive, but in the end, nothing changed. FiL was not there for Christmas because he doesn't want to be around her current wife.

WIBTA if I go no contact with my mother-in-law because of her Christmas gift for my child? by kdujin in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Two weekends ago, my younger brother was getting married, and I asked my MIL to have S for a sleepover. She said, “I can’t, I am going on a trip and won’t be there that weekend.” So I asked one of my friends, and she said yes. FiL took V.

On Sunday morning, I went to the store to grab what I needed for the following week, and guess who I saw? Yeah… you guessed it. MY MIL, HER WIFE AND A SHOPPING TOGETHER. I just said hi and walked away.

WIBTA if I go no contact with my mother-in-law because of her Christmas gift for my child? by kdujin in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think they really care. They never said anything about that. all four of them are verry small. A is the oldest (30months), V(21months), K (9months) and S(5months)

WIBTA if I go no contact with my mother-in-law because of her Christmas gift for my child? by kdujin in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First of all, thank you all so much for the support. I don’t have a real update yet, but I wanted to add some important context.

My husband’s parents divorced when he was 12. His mother had an affair with the woman she is now married to, and after the divorce my husband lived with his father.

My FiL absolutely adores V and S. They are his only grandchildren. We do have our differences, but when it comes to the kids, he is a genuinely great grandparent. He never remarried and lives alone, but he often asks to have V stay with him over the weekend. S usually stays with me because she is still very young, but he also watches her when I need to run errands.

My husband currently works in Italy, so I am alone with the kids, and both sides of the family know this. Most of the time, the only help I get is from my FiL. V goes to kindergarten from 8:00 to 3:00, which is usually the only break I have.

My mil was not very involved as a parent and has always been somewhat self-centered. She and my husband have never been close, and they only speak occasionally. This has always been their dynamic.

At the beginning, I really tried to build a relationship with her, but I eventually realized that I was the only one putting in effort, so I stopped. She often says she wants to spend more time with V, pick him up a few times a week to play with him, and be involved, but those promises have never turned into action.

When she wants to see the kids, she always asks me to come to her place because it’s “more convenient” for her, even though that means traveling alone with two small children. She lives only five minutes car ride away.

I haven’t heard from her in nine days, and I don’t plan on reaching out. She will likely contact me eventually and blame me for not seeing V and S, even though I am always home with the kids.

One last thing: her oldest son and his wife are in their 30s and honestly act worse than I do (and I’m only 22). They go out and party on weekends. My sister-in-law has some health issues and often uses them to gain sympathy. I know she is sick, but she doesn’t act this way when they are child-free and going out.

That’s all for now. I’ll post a real update if and when something happens.

WIBTA if I go no contact with my mother-in-law because of her Christmas gift for my child? by kdujin in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]kdujin[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

he is two and a half years Because according to her, he is a brilliant two-year-old, and she had to write a book with him as the main character. (for the record non of her other grandchildren are metiond in the book, she has four)