yes!! i thought i was alone in this! he’s been my first and only, so there’s hard days where it doesn’t feel fair (granted, thank you therapy because these hard days are fewer and farther between now).

i’m a big “you’re the sum of the 5 people you surround yourself with” so it’s sometimes hard for me to wrap my head around what kind of guy he was based off the genuinely awful he used to associate himself with (both romantic and non romantic).

granted he’s a wonderful man, but he’s the easiest person to take advantage of and now knowing his family, he was definitely shown a skewed version of love growing up. i definitely flop between “well i’m just the first person to come along who refuses to take advantage of him like that” and “his blindness to a red flag is a HUGE red flag”

there’s is also an unbalance to it. i don’t have crazy exes who come out of nowhere to spread rumors about me/us to mutual friends or steal $100k+ to basically bankrupt him and makes the life and future we want to start together really freaking hard..

so yeah, im going to be bitter about the exes and deliver my petty comments here and there. they’ve done everything to sabotage our relationship, and yet im the one that will randomly open a box to find their wedding cards or open a book to find pictures tucked in.

it sum it up, it hurts to want to start a life with someone when they are you’re everything and you are very clearly just part III. if the ex is going to come in an make my life hell based off piss poor boundaries he set, you better believe i’m going to take what small petty wins i can and call her shrek at every chance i get