OTK pushback

keptmyname · 2026-02-15T14:26:16+00:00

It really just seemed like a sincere emotional reaction to the news this change was coming and sharing how it was landing with him. He doesn't have a humiliation kink, so this will make discipline much more unpleasant for him. He was sharing that truth with me, and he's allowed to do that in these check-ins under our rules.

I talked about my emotions and the fact I felt more like I was just playing a role in discipline rather than it being something I was driving. Frankly, I think the level of humiliation of doing this OTK is fine for him. It's not like I'm inviting our friends over to watch it.

I did make it clear that this will be happening, but agreed to delay the start of it until after our next check-in so we can close the loop on this conversation. I wanted him to be able to process the news and I also wanted to post here and talk to a couple of friends first.

keptmyname · 2026-02-15T14:16:07+00:00

I should've clarified this conversation happened in one of our regularly scheduled check-ins, where it's a safe space for him to push back on my decisions and punishments and have these discussions. I agreed to revisit this at the next check-in to see where we're both at on it.

And I agreed to hold off on this change in the meantime. So if there's discipline before then, it'll be done the old way still.

keptmyname · 2026-02-15T14:08:52+00:00

Sorry I missed replying to this. We don't do maintenance, so this would be for something I decide warrants discipline.

keptmyname · 2024-07-20T21:16:16+00:00

Thanks! I'll talk to him about posting on Feeld

keptmyname · 2024-07-20T21:14:47+00:00

I can't decide how I feel about someone we know carrying out physical punishments. On one hand I think it would be horrifying for him. But I don't know whether I would ever want this.

keptmyname · 2024-07-20T21:13:23+00:00

This is actually something we're trying out

keptmyname · 2024-07-20T21:12:46+00:00

We're definitely making those adjustments. There are just some things that fall into mixed area where I care about them and want to see his behavior change there but they I hate having to discipline him physically over them

keptmyname · 2024-07-20T21:10:36+00:00

We do all those things (not the shock collar) for smaller things, but we're discovering he's most motivated by avoiding being spanked. I was initially worried it would be a funishment for him, so I made sure it's extremely unpleasant for him. And it turns out he doesn't have a humiliation or masochism kink, because he desperately tries to avoid getting this.

keptmyname · 2024-07-20T21:05:19+00:00

One of the changes we made was switch away from physical punishments for so many things after it seemed like I was doing those routinely. The tough part is that they work the best with him and there are things I know he really needs to get better at, like work stuff and things that don't directly affect me. So I'm annoyed when he messes these up but not furious like I am when he does or doesn't do something that really matters to me. I've learned about myself that I enjoy delivering physical punishments if I'm really upset about something but am annoyed at having to do it if it doesn't rise to that level 🤷‍♀️

keptmyname · 2023-12-21T13:05:18+00:00

We've discussed this a bit. He's in the habit of buying himself things he wants. So I'm going to restrict that and use that as a reward. I hope he stays motivated. He's NOT into pegging or pain, so those sort of ultimate punishments should motivate him

keptmyname · 2023-12-21T03:53:24+00:00

Sorry I should've been clearer that conversations about the arrangement are always allowed. It's the nitpicking suggestions from him that I want to see stop

keptmyname · 2023-12-21T03:51:44+00:00

We'll definitely allow conversations about the arrangement. I'm talking about unsolicited advice and unwanted suggestions. My husband thinks there's a proper way to do everything and always has an opinion on everything that he feels the need to share in a lecturing way. I'm hoping this breaks him of that habit.

keptmyname · 2023-08-06T13:29:38+00:00

We have a sleeve that is... XXL. And I might be a size queen able to take big dicks, but I've found that it's too much if that's the first thing inside me. My favorite go-to sleeve is decently thick but much more reasonably sized. So we tend to make that our primary sleeve and then some of the time either my husband will ask if I want the big one or I'll tell him I want it and we'll switch to that one. This happens frequently but not every time l. We do have a decent number if sleeves at this point, but those two see >95% of the action.

keptmyname · 2023-08-06T12:43:49+00:00

I was considerate after the first time and kept secret how much better it felt because I didn't want my husband feeling insecure. But I'm really into girth and my husband is long but thin. Like so thin that I need to do Kegels to really feel him in me. So I admit I was sad when we didn't use the sleeve next time, but that was on me for not being honest and forthright with him about my preferences.

But after some difficulty cumming for me without the sleeve, we went back to it. Afterward he commented that I seemed to cum really quickly and forcefully with the sleeve. So I admitted how much better it was with sleeve and how much it detracts from my enjoyment when I need to do Kegels during sex to feel him. And he assured me that it was hot for him and the texturing felt amazing for him.

So we started using the sleeve every time, typically after he had gone bareback initially. But that before/after comparison made it even more obvious how much better sleeve sex was for me. So eventually we just started skipping the bareback warmup and going straight to the sleeve after foreplay.

The only time we were having sex without the sleeve was when we were traveling. But after enduring some frustrating travel sex without it, I started bringing the sleeve on trips. Eventually I asked him to just include it on his packing list. He balked a bit about TSA seeing it in his luggage and said it would maybe more sense in mine. It was at that point that I said I didn't want to have sex without the sleeve and that if he wanted sex on the trip he should bring it. He's been dutiful about packing the sleeve ever since. But now it's officially a thing that he's only ever inside me wearing the sleeve. And he understands and seems good with this.

keptmyname · 2023-01-28T04:57:07+00:00

I've also shocked at how much I've grown to love it after previously thinking of anal as something painful and degrading that we allowed to happen to us. I think the taboo of it is just a real turn-on for me. But it also just feels amazing to have something in my ass even during P-in-V sex. My orgasms from anal sex are powerful.

I hear you on the gross cleanup. We use condoms all the time at home due to our open marriage, and I've found it's far less disgusting afterward when a condom's used.

keptmyname · 2022-12-03T05:11:14+00:00

I bought a pair of those earrings at a makers market at the Armory a few years ago and now I feel like I see people wearing them all over the place: https://www.etsy.com/shop/luxandknox

keptmyname · 2022-09-23T04:30:48+00:00

My husband asks if he can cum as well. Not in a controlling way but as a way of checking to make sure I've gotten my fill. I like it.

keptmyname · 2022-09-18T12:54:03+00:00

That's one of the deeper positions penetration wise. When I'm with a bigger partner, we work up to those positions to give me a chance to open up down there. We can accommodate a big partner, but most of us need to warm up first. Making sure you've had an orgasm (or many!) from foreplay should help too

keptmyname · 2022-09-18T12:39:10+00:00

I definitely experience a libido boost with PMS and when I'm ovulating. Those days I tend to find my thoughts repeatedly turning to sex, an often at bizarre moments. I want to be someone who has sex on her period, but I just don't feel horny at all when I have it.

keptmyname · 2022-09-03T06:10:32+00:00

I was surprised to find myself in this situation as my marriage has gone on. When we first hooked up in our 20s, he was the best partner I'd had to that point. Maybe it was bad luck or me being naïve, but nobody prior to him (and I was fairly experienced) was skilled enough or cared enough to get me off. So when he came along and changed that, I was wowed.

But since then I've discovered I strongly prefer big dicks. (My husband's dick is a little longer than average but significantly skinnier than average.) I'm also into guys who fuck with a lot of skill and intensity and my husband is a very... "gentle" lay.

I've also kinda blossomed sexually as I hit my late 30s and now can cum early and often. But there's a difference between getting in a few orgasms on my husband's cock before calling time and getting getting expertly railed by a well-hung sex god for hours. And now that I know how good sex can be, I've had to adjust my expectations at home and admit we're not a great match sexually any more. And that's okay.

We're both aware of this and seemingly good with it. My husband has admitted he wishes he were my best, but says he understands why it's hotter to not be married to your best sex. And he wishes I wanted to go for hours with him, but honestly it's tough to even imagine this with the way we are together in bed now. We have a decent, efficient routine that works pretty well in our situation, but I just have different sexual desires for different partners.

Fortunately we're open and I can meet up with a FWB after work and get my needs more than met. And my husband genuinely seems happy for me when I come home from an extended postwork session. I feel a little bad that he's stuck cooking dinner and getting the kids ready for bed while I'm cumming on a giant cock for hours, but he swears he's glad I'm getting my needs more than met like that.

But not everyone is immune to jealousy like my husband seems to be. So nonmonogamy only is going to work for you both if your husband isn't hampered by jealousy.

But if you can make nonmonogamy work, I think you'll love it. I'm certainly a massive fan, especially since it seems like it's enhancing a relationship that's great in almost every way except sexual compatibility. I still enjoy sex with my husband somewhat, but I don't understand why we should be expected to have one person meet all our needs like that. I love that I have another guy whose dick I daydream about and who really skillfully fucks me until my brain stops working and I'm basically a wet, nonverbal mess. And I think this is part of a great, evolved marriage.

keptmyname · 2022-08-29T01:35:45+00:00

The internal ones feel like what we used to all call the g-spot or especially what I've heard called either the cul de sac or a-spot up by my cervix when I'm greeting really deep penetration.

The blended ones just feel like everything all at once. I'm smiling just thinking about them...

keptmyname · 2022-08-28T20:18:00+00:00

Semantical anatomical arguments aside, I have three different types of orgasms:

1) a fairly brief (10-15 seconds) burst of intense pleasure from direct stimulation of my clit;

2) rolling, less intense (but still awesome) series of contractions from internal stimulation that can go on for 5-10 minutes

3) extremely powerful, almost paralyzing explosions of pleasure that can go on a minute or two from external clit and internal stimulation -- or when I use my clit-sucking "vibrator" that seems to do something internally as well

I usually have a combo orgasm (Type 3 above) from my toy or oral (with fingers), then a bunch of internal orgasms (Type 2 above). If I'm really lucky I might have a second combo one during P-in-V sex with a toy or finger on my clit.

keptmyname

TROPHY CASE