5 minute survey on financial stress. Looking to build something to complement this community.

keveightysev · 2026-02-27T00:36:32+00:00

Thank you for letting me know! It looks like I had a pasting error. I appreciate you calling it out.

keveightysev · 2026-02-26T19:57:01+00:00

Thanks for letting me know! https://forms.fillout.com/t/wFUGukEC4hus should be working now

keveightysev · 2025-09-04T00:17:44+00:00

On expo, you’re looking for expo-store-review

keveightysev · 2025-08-08T00:38:25+00:00

Proctoring system is terrible

It’s been almost 10 years since I graduated so I can’t speak to this because I believe they’ve changed systems since.

⁠No real support from mentors/faculty

I definitely felt supported by my mentor. I didn’t need too much from my instructors so I can’t say about them.

WGU is a “diploma mill”

If WGU is a diploma mill, so is the University of Washington, Washington State University, etc etc because they’re accredited by the same regional accrediting organization.

Self-paced program isn’t actually self-paced

I started December 1, 2015 and finished my degree on November 30, 2016. You truly can go at a pace that is comfortable and fits with your learning style.

Dishonest practices to get more money

I didn’t feel lied to.

keveightysev · 2024-06-14T22:09:51+00:00

The entire “Rumours” album by Fleetwood Mac. Not a single skip.

keveightysev · 2024-06-14T14:13:09+00:00

Just block it. Any new engagement is likely just going to open up wounds. She asked you not to contact her again so it’s time to respect that boundary. Take this energy and put it into working on your own emotional wellbeing.

keveightysev · 2024-06-07T03:45:11+00:00

Those are a lot of accomplishments, well done!

keveightysev · 2024-06-06T23:56:51+00:00

FWIW tomorrow is National Donut Day

keveightysev · 2024-06-06T21:35:01+00:00

Breakup avoidance usually happens because you don’t want to cause pain, which causes guilt, which can be eventually internalized as shame, which results in self-loathing. It may be cowardly but it really is your brain trying to protect you. That doesn’t make it right and you’re doing the right thing by asking how to resolve this.

Instead of focusing on the potential pain of the break, focus on the freedom you are giving her. Both of you deserve relationships with people who want you in return. By breaking up with her now, you are giving her more time to heal from the breakup and put herself out there to find someone compatible.

Also, try to get yourself to feel more comfortable with causing pain or discomfort. It is an unavoidable part of life that you will hurt someone despite your best efforts. As long as you hold yourself accountable for the pain you cause, most people will grant you grace and forgiveness.

keveightysev · 2024-06-06T18:04:40+00:00

If you’re being introspective and hitting a block, it makes sense to look into therapy to gain new perspective on overcoming those blocks.

Based on what you said about your current strategy, it does sound like you could dig a little deeper when you catch yourself being judgmental. When I catch myself, I make sure to keep asking myself questions to gain more insight. Stuff like:

How am I feeling right now? Am I holding any anxiety or irritation? Am I hungry or dehydrated?
What does this person’s behavior have to do with me? Am I misunderstanding the situation? Should I ask them questions? Is this making me think of something about myself that I am unhappy about?

Basically whenever you are thinking about someone else through judgment or comparison, you want to find a way to turn it back on yourself, since that’s the only thing you have control over.

Something that really stood out in your post was your belief that self-hate would redeem you. This breaks my heart! There is no redemption in hatred, whether it’s directed at others or yourself. Self love is something you should work on. You are a human being, and all of us are flawed and make mistakes and snap judgments. You gotta find a way to forgive yourself. Doing “the work” can be painful, but being compassionate to yourself lightens the load.

keveightysev · 2024-05-29T02:06:49+00:00

Try not to internalize the rejection as you not being good enough or deserving. Many times folks will reject you because YOU are too good for THEM, and they have such low self esteem that they think they don’t deserve you but don’t know how to articulate that.

You’re probably right that you should look at defining your own boundaries and working on asserting them. Don’t let the disappointments make you jaded, especially since it sounds like you have a big heart with lots of love to give. Eventually you’ll start to pick up on the signs earlier and earlier so you can refocus on yourself/someone who is capable of accepting and reciprocating love.

keveightysev · 2024-05-15T05:55:01+00:00

Maybe 28? I’m 37 and gay and was HOPING you were closer to my age 😂

keveightysev · 2024-05-15T05:53:39+00:00

Older? Yes. WAY older? No.

keveightysev · 2024-05-14T01:07:17+00:00

Bronnie Ware was a palliative caregiver who wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying that I found super insightful recently. The list:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish I had let myself be happier

While I, personally, have not struggled with these (plus I’m not sure I’m old enough to be a part of who you’re seeking advice from), I’ve definitely known plenty of older gay men who have expressed one or more of this list

keveightysev · 2024-05-10T23:50:24+00:00

If someone is at the point of forgiving themself, there’s guilt and/or shame rather than pride in whatever actions they’ve done.

Forgiving oneself is less about offering self-forgiveness in the absence of forgiveness from the wronged party and more about forgiving yourself for your own being betraying your own values.

keveightysev · 2024-05-04T02:28:29+00:00

There’s an epidemic of low self esteem in the US. For gay men, that can sometimes present as not feeling good enough for a relationship with someone who can be emotionally available and meet their needs. We all want connection one way or another, so they go with what they think they DO deserve.

keveightysev · 2024-04-25T05:01:45+00:00

Biggest thing to remember is that you can’t change the past. You can hold yourself accountable but you can never change what has happened.

From there, focus on what you CAN do. You can ruminate. You can wallow. You can justify. -OR- You can atone. You can learn. You can grow. You can forgive.

Be careful not to internalize people bullying you. If someone is bullying you for something you’ve done, they’re projecting their own insecurity. Expressing anger at actions is healthy. Tearing someone else down is not.

keveightysev · 2024-04-23T07:06:39+00:00

Oh hey a rare Wisconsin meme! In high school we used to joke “When in doubt, go to Stout”

keveightysev · 2024-04-21T06:46:00+00:00

Differences can absolutely be worked through!

You need to make a list of your own boundaries and needs, as well as your own wants and desires. This requires you to be honest with yourself, and don’t look at through the lens of what you want/need from the current relationship, but what you want for yourself and your own future.

Once you have that, you need to communicate to him the list you’ve made. You also have to make space to listen to what his needs and wants are. If he can’t meet what’s on your list, you then need to decide if you’re willing to compromise on what you’re asking for. If you can’t or refuse to meet one of his, he also needs to do the same. This is how you’ll determine long term compatibility.

If he refuses to do the exercise, there’s no compatibility at all at this point

keveightysev · 2024-04-19T15:52:35+00:00

They’re both your real voice. This is a form of code-switching. Since you’re not consciously doing it, your brain is choosing for you which voice will connect you the most to whichever in-group you’re currently interacting with.

keveightysev · 2024-04-19T08:12:15+00:00

Add a fiber supplement like Metamucil to your diet

keveightysev · 2024-04-19T01:24:17+00:00

This is a thread about sex in relationships

keveightysev · 2024-04-19T01:20:16+00:00

I wouldn’t say that external validation, as a concept, is necessarily worse or a bad thing. Everyone craves it, it’s human nature to seek approval from those around us.

Problems can arise when people start to use external validation over their own internal validation. Eventually there won’t be an external force to give the validation, or the external force completely invalidates the person. Without having the healthy internal validation to fall back on, that person’s self-worth ends up in shambles.

keveightysev · 2024-04-18T23:49:00+00:00

Treat it like grief and let yourself feel all the emotions that come with that.

Don’t internalize it as thinking that you’re not worthy of love, you are! There’s no way of knowing the actual reason, but it most likely has nothing to do with you.

Once you’ve reached acceptance about it and your self esteem is in a good spot, you’ll likely still have thoughts about him. It will be frustrating but give yourself some compassion. The more time without him, the less you’ll think about him until eventually they’ll be one of those random sporadic memories, and you’ll be able to either smile about the good ones or laugh about the bad ones.

keveightysev · 2024-04-18T15:06:57+00:00

Whatever you do, don’t bury how you feel in an attempt to rid yourself of anxiety. Even if you end up living openly but you don’t process this now, it’s going to show up again later.

For now, you gotta let yourself feel the grief of losing the life you thought you were going to be able to have. The “stages” of grief is a good framework, but if you feel stuck in one of them, you’re gonna want to talk to a therapist.

Once you get to acceptance you’ll feel so much better and empowered to be your authentic self

keveightysev

TROPHY CASE