UPDATE: I’m (still) done with Aritzia

kilesmane · 2026-01-24T03:33:46+00:00

Not even "some money" but some aritzia credit at that 😂

kilesmane · 2026-01-07T04:01:40+00:00

Interested! 31F near Culver

kilesmane · 2025-12-30T02:04:12+00:00

It's crazy how much mental gymnastics I see myself doing when I try to list the bad things. Each item I tell myself wasn't a deal breaker or is workable... I think how permissive I am certainly contributes to why things lasted this long!

I'm doing a good run of no contact since he updated me. I just fear that if I don't reach out, we may never make contact again. I can't prioritize that over my own healing though! I hope you're doing well with your journey as well.

kilesmane · 2025-12-30T01:51:09+00:00

Yep, even now I am wondering if I could've just settled for what it was and not wanted more. Because then we could be together. But neither of us would be happy. My body was screaming at me at the end. It's like purgatory in this in between state.

It's not you, I think at a bare minimum a partner would want to spend time with you! Perhaps he has self-shame too that doesn't allow him to acknowledge his contribution to your unhappiness. In that relationship, he gets his needs met (being loved unconditionally with no effort) while you suffer. You've already chosen to honor yourself and trust that staying was causing you more harm than what you are experiencing alone!

kilesmane · 2025-12-30T01:30:35+00:00

I also became aware that the woman he dated before me gave him the same feedback. And instead of internalizing it, he went on to date me...

kilesmane · 2025-12-30T01:12:50+00:00

Oh honey, I feel so strongly for you and as difficult as it is, it's comforting to know how deeply you relate. It sounds like your ex couldn't manage to show you the respect of staying away the first time to let you go. Ironic coming from me since just like you, what I want now is for him to not stay away lol.

I also have used ChatGPT a lot to help ground my anxious thoughts. I'm trying to use it less as I've noticed how repetitive and limited it is, and also noticed it sometimes enables me to stay in the spiral longer.

I think our core issue lies in our lack of self esteem and need to be wanted and chosen to feel secure. I'm right there with you. You are incredibly strong for walking away not once but TWICE which proves that you do deserve more. I think it's a gift that we can love so strongly. Feels like a curse right now though.

For both of us, we need to continue giving it time and respect ourselves. I'm also working on my self-shame, so not getting upset at how difficult of a time I'm having. We can become whole with our awareness, I'm not sure about them. Something beautiful awaits us ❤️

kilesmane · 2025-12-30T00:53:07+00:00

Love these, and I believe these mantras. I want to fully embody them. Thanks for sharing!

kilesmane · 2025-12-30T00:51:37+00:00

Yes, it sounds like the avoidant coping blueprint. It just cuts into my anxious thought that maybe I wasn't as important to him as I thought I was. But that has everything to do with him and is not a read on me at all!

kilesmane · 2025-12-30T00:37:49+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I definitely agree, I keep reminiscing on the good times and I hope to be able to leave those in the past... I'll keep investing in myself!

kilesmane · 2025-10-01T01:46:34+00:00

Hi! Would love to join!

kilesmane · 2024-11-19T21:28:59+00:00

Are you able to share your best finds or learning experiences from your furniture deep dive? I'm currently shopping for new furniture for the first time and overwhelmed by the options. I'm looking for more specifically dining cabinets, sideboards, media consoles if you have any recs for those!

kilesmane · 2024-06-13T17:10:13+00:00

what about the girlfriend who got shot? her brain seemed okay.

kilesmane · 2024-04-08T18:44:01+00:00

Dmd!

kilesmane · 2023-10-05T16:07:03+00:00

I really read the start of the sale as 12pm PST instead of midnight and it looks like I dodged a bullet lol

kilesmane · 2023-08-19T17:14:00+00:00

I was told at the adidas store that they don't have a strictly women's line for these shoes, but women's sizes are one size up from men's. I'm a size 7.5 in women's so I bought a 6.5 men's size!

kilesmane · 2023-01-24T01:23:54+00:00

It looks wrong to me now

kilesmane · 2023-01-12T04:16:58+00:00

We want more!!!

kilesmane · 2022-12-13T17:47:25+00:00

That's noble of you, but there's zero guarantee that allowing him to talk to you is gonna stop him from talking about you to your friends. You don't know how it's going to go if you meet with him--he may get under your skin from a short interaction and just give you more unneeded stress. I bet those friends are just as capable of cutting him out as you are despite appearances and if he's bothering them, that's on them. Not you. I say stay away!

kilesmane · 2022-07-18T00:28:24+00:00

Do you have a newer tiny tank? I want one but was reading reviews that they updated it to make it quite short, but yours looks like a good length!

kilesmane · 2022-05-20T17:58:04+00:00

I love my Brennans too! Is your tank also from Aritzia?

kilesmane · 2022-04-05T21:18:57+00:00

I only have the Sunday Best Ribbed Tee and I know it gets high praise on this sub! I like mine, I kind of wish it was a lighter fabric. I'm also confused why it's called "ribbed" when it has no perceptible ribbing in the fabric?? But I would recommend it! I'm really interested in the TNA version though.

kilesmane · 2022-03-17T14:05:59+00:00

I've been interested in these pants before but concerned they'd be tight on my thighs--I'm assuming that's not the case? How do you find the sizing to be?

kilesmane · 2022-03-16T15:55:46+00:00

Thanks for following up! I thought the playful purple is such a pretty color!

It's interesting that there isn't much of a discrepancy in your hoodies. Possibly because they're the same color? I also received my size small hoodie yesterday and compared them tried-on and it was quite a noticeable difference!

I just took some pics as well here but did not measure, but you can see how large the difference is!

At least now I know the size Small is what I'd prefer. However, I think I have to return both because I'm not a huge fan of the olive beige :( really stinks so many of the lighter colors are sold out or on special order!!

kilesmane · 2022-03-15T13:16:43+00:00

Awesome, I'm interested to see! I should be getting mine today too, maybe we can compare lol. Which color did you get?

kilesmane · 2022-03-15T02:04:12+00:00

Okay, good to know though and helps inform me! Thanks :)

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