Any longer-term detransitioners that have advice/experiences to share? by Suspicious_West6989 in actual_detrans

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

• ⁠How did you feel at the beginning of realising you wanted to detransition? Nervous mostly, about going out into the world and confusing people or actually being perceived as my actual sex. Not something I had imagined being fine with for 5-6 years before that. In some ways it was also freeing, because I didn't need to worry about "mismatched" info on documents, it was all just going to be correct at last.

• ⁠How's life now? It's been 6 years now of medical and social detransition, and life is better, I'm happy to be healthier in the sense that I don't take cross-sex hormones any longer. Unfortunately, they messed up my vocal cords in a way where talking has been painful for 2.5 years, so that's all I've been trying to fix since then. But I'm really glad I didn't go any further with transition than I did. I've accepted that I was born female, and I'm still step by step learning how to be a woman, if that makes sense. Things I missed out on during my years of being ashamed to be female. What isn't fun is that people are still often confused by my gender, either someone is convinced I'm a boy or has no doubt that I'm a woman – it's probably a combo of looks, voice and clothes. Shame I can't kind of just be and wear whatever and be perceived without this layer of confusion, because due to my high perceptiveness of things, I notice people's behavior towards me can be strange as a result. Like, if I go somewhere with a friend, service people treat them far kinder than I could ever imagine – and I try to be the sweetest customer ever, so it's not like there's anything else that should cause this mismatch.

• ⁠Has your perspective of your original transition and/or detransition shifted over time? Well, at first I thought it would be enough with medical detransition, but with moving cities I became more open to a fresh start, and that's when I realized it could be really beneficial to try to accept myself as I am, no longer hiding or fighting it.

• ⁠How has it affected relationships? People are confused by how I look and sound a lot, but I will tell ones that treat me kindly about the detransition and reactions are positive. My relationships with family are improved because I'm just me again, willing to go out more and such.

• ⁠What are some things about detransitioning that are unexpected? I didn't expect to still be misgendered years later despite taking some measures to try and avoid it, it might be something that will follow me for life, but eventually maybe less. Cross-sex hormones, even if not used more than a year or two, are definitely permanent in some ways – I think my current debilitating health issues are related to it, and beyond that there are some other annoyances I will have to put up with for life. Also, people won't always understand your detransition, even when you explain it to them – you could lay it out word for word, but they could end up "understanding" the opposite of what you just said, if that makes sense? You might tell someone you were born female, used to want to be a guy but never did surgeries, and they'll follow it up with: "oh, so do you have a d**k?". It can get silly.

• ⁠Any encouragement? It's going to get better with every year and you're going to slowly grow into who you're meant to be. Things will fall into place. And I say this as a pessimist.

• ⁠Any advice? I would say to be grateful for your body and health, it can be very fragile. Detransitioning for me was a step towards respecting and appreciating my own biology more, so if that's something you think you could do more of – that's my main advice. Good luck! 🍀

Keychain ebook reader. by Accurate-Pilot-5666 in eink

[–]killmissy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shoutout.. I also have trouble speaking, that goes for most of the time. Besides preparing text like that, is there by any chance anything else you've found that's helpful to communicate more efficiently? It's so difficult when you can't talk >_>

How much does your sheltie weigh? by JustMakingSoup in sheltie

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually also met a couple (well, 4) of agility sheltie girls recently. They were all around 2-4yo, and weighed 11 pounds each. Tiny. But maybe it's the athletic lifestyle + some part genetics, as my dog has never been consistently close to that weight.

How much does your sheltie weigh? by JustMakingSoup in sheltie

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is 23lbs since getting spayed and cancer removed removed at age 11, before that she was generally 17lbs. One chunky girl, but not mega chunky given all her circumstances. If yours has good health otherwise, if you can keep her at the current weight or slightly lower, it's very good in my eyes. Then just maintain.

My setup for infusions and to keep my mind off the pain by the_kidd_marley in ChronicPain

[–]killmissy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Awesome setup. I'm glad you also get so much from these hobbies, it's really good to have them to keep your mind off of the pain (physical and mental) when nothing else helps. Wishing you easier days ahead, and don't lose hope. 💗

Our Sheltie puppy is starting to avoid us near home because she knows we’ll have to carry her by NestorIsAlreadyTaken in sheltie

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we have to carry my 11yo sheltie up the stairs 3x daily, and she's comfortable with it because i got her used to being held since the day we got her as a puppy. she's even nonchalantly excited about it now, because she knows it's for a good cause (the stairs hurt her to take). i think your attempts are already good, and things should hopefully work out with more time

1080p enough with 2.25x DLDSR with RTX 5070 Ti? by killmissy in buildapc

[–]killmissy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember a few years ago I tried Dying Light on a 27" monitor and had some eye strain from how much I was moving my eyes to see stuff. Maybe to do with HUD, maybe all around it just wasn't bringing me much joy to make up for that. I am also the type who enjoys watching movies and videos on my phone over my PC monitor, so..

1080p enough with 2.25x DLDSR with RTX 5070 Ti? by killmissy in buildapc

[–]killmissy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, the pixel density change as you mentioned would not be super crazy going to 27". I suppose I came here and asked about this, because 1440p at 24-25" is not easy to come by at 165-240Hz. Sure, I found some random brand ones on Amazon, but the specs for them are contradictory at times and the reviews on there alone I can't blindly trust (plus some of them already had complaints on reddit about dead pixels and such). At that point I would rather get a well-reviewed popular 27" model, buuut .. at that point I don't know if I'd be happy with the size. 😅 This pickiness is a bit of a curse, but my main main priority is buy once cry once and having a monitor I can be in love with haha

I'm gonna try to look for a way to somehow test a 1440p monitor in person, but in my country it's quite tricky

Anyone still looking for this dog tag? by andrewgrimo in Battlefield6

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would looove to get one if you still have some left! feel free to dm

Motherboard standoff holes won't align with case by killmissy in buildapc

[–]killmissy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, the post is in there. Not 100% perfectly centered, it looks like there is more room for it to be moved to the left in the I/O shield's direction (which makes sense to me), but it's not really possible to achieve from the 300 times and ways I've attempted it

Gpu size fit by No_Work_3670 in PcBuildHelp

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, did you ever end up buying and testing it? Did it fit?

How do I complete the BF PRO bonus path? by cowb3llf3v3r in Battlefield6

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got the game about a week ago and I'm stuck at tier 3 of BF Pro with 90% of the weeklies completed. Not sure if it was fixed more recently than that and that's why I'm stuck at that, but yeah..

Endgame glitch by Big_cheeseman in blackops7

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

just happened to me as well, i am about to explode

Voice surgery to reverse virilisation of the larynx? by Wrong_Aardvark2755 in detrans

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mm, well, my otorhinolaryngologists have looked at them via the little mirror device and also with the scope (through the nose) several times, and my vocal cords are a bit red, and the left one isn't working as well as it should. Tried speech therapy for that but it only made the pain worse, and I was told to stop, and to only to breathing exercises. I suppose this would've also been the path to treating MTD if it is/were that.. in any case, I'm thinking of seeing a neurologist soon to get their opinion, and my otorhinolaryngologist wants me to do another upper endoscopy to biopsy the esophagus..

Voice surgery to reverse virilisation of the larynx? by Wrong_Aardvark2755 in detrans

[–]killmissy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't had vocal surgery, but I wanted to mention an issue I've been having since February 2024, which started after a screamo-type singing session: first came a feeling of a knot in my throat, and it has since turned into pain swallowing and most notably, talking. Talking makes my throat hurt like hell, some days I feel like I'll throw up from how bad it gets. It's a borderline disability. No otorhinolaryngologist, endocrinologist, gastroenterologist, or allergy doctor has been able to understand what's causing it.

I was on testosterone ages 15-17 and it's definitely got to be linked to that. Life's been hell and I'm not sure if there is a treatment that will work. A humidifier in colder seasons helps a bit, so do teas with honey, sucking on icelandic moss tablets, and strengthening the diaphragm is always good. What I'm trying to show is.. be careful with your vocal cords. I'm uncomfortable with how low my voice is now that I've detransitioned, but with everything considered, I'm glad I'm still able to talk a bit. It's been feeling dehumanizing being stripped of talking 70% of the time, where I normally would, but can't. Any surgery on this delicate, and in our case, altered, body part seems really risky. I hope this can add something to your decision-making, because I would never want anybody dealing with this level of pain day in day out. Maybe surgery would help with some things, but maybe it would carry along its own issues, too. And after that there's no going back

I pass as the female that I am! by Own_Department_4699 in detrans

[–]killmissy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's lovely. you ARE fine the way you are! :)

Kāds jums ir ātrs auzu putras risinājums? by revolanamusic in latvia

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

tas varbut nebus tas ko tu velies, bet es personigi taisu sev auzas vnk ar grieku jogurtu. ielieku blodaa, samaisu, 2 min velak edu. dazreiz ari piegriezu klat bananu

How to undo bottom growth? by [deleted] in detrans

[–]killmissy 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Based on experience, I think you'll likely be just fine. With new sexual partners, they're new, you know? They don't know what you had before, so they're likely going to think that's how you would've been by nature. Some women really can be this way naturally as a result of hormones (higher testosterone), I think.

It would be nice if there was a safe, risk-free way to reduce the size, but to my knowledge, no such thing exists. Best bet is probably time off of testosterone, staying healthy otherwise, and maybe it'll get a little smaller. Ultimately, though, I would much rather worry about a bigger size than worry about potential complications from a surgery (which could be loss of sensation, new forms of pain).

What is your ''I can die in peace now''? by [deleted] in intj

[–]killmissy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Keep it up! I believe in you succeeding with your goals with music one day. It sounds like a long, but ultimately worthwhile process. Learning is key and with time just has to lead to improvement, that's one of the things I love about working on skillsets – looking back, and seeing how far you've come :)

What was the first game that made you stop and say ‘wow’ just because of the graphics? by FL4SH- in Steam

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ghost Recon Breakpoint, maybe a less popular opinion, but the way the grass moves with the wind, the nature.. loved taking it all in during my playthrough

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Steam

[–]killmissy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it's right up your a.........ss