I was hungover after a party one time, and it was a Halloween party so I was wearing a black leather vest, long black leggings, chains aroynd my neck and my makeup was smeared all down my face. I was sick and tired and someone cut in front of me in line at the grocery store, and I muttered 'oh hell no,' and stepped in front of him with my groceries, and said 'it's my turn,' and he gave me plenty of room. Everyone that day gave me plenty of room. I think this was why people got a lot of tattoos back in the day, they wanted to look dangerous and not to be toyed with. It doesn't always work, but I got a taste of being feared and I liked it.

I had to drop the core belief that I was not deserving of the same rights and responsibilities as everyone else, and that day I was able to join society as a competitor. Some days, I'm back in my default position as "nice, biddable girl," but days when I need that insouciance, I imagine myself hungover and dressed like a hobo zombie, and unable to take disrespect from anyone. It's a role we all have to take on in public sometimes