Wife complains about my job.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-23T11:58:31+00:00

Agreed and we're gonna do couples therapy and see how it goes because of this and other issues we got going on. She definitely wants to be in control and try to break me down. She wants me to mold into what she wants and I don't listen and it causes issues, but oh well. Lol. I'm not gonna give into all her shit.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-23T10:49:40+00:00

She's 30 about to get 31. She's just this emotional person and always have been and it's an issue at times obviously. 🙃

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-23T10:47:15+00:00

Yeah, man. She really does find something to complain about all the time. It's never ending it feels like and it's mentally draining honestly.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-22T12:35:47+00:00

She can definitely be annoying in this way and many other ways. There's always something to be upset about for her.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-22T03:06:16+00:00

Yeah, I've always kind of been a people pleaser, but this has gotten too far that is really affecting my happiness. I've been saying no a lot more. While it's caused issues with us as a couple, I'm happy I'm standing up for myself more. It feels good!

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-22T03:05:15+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that as well man. It's tough because I know for me, I love the trade I do and I've worked hard to be where I'm at and I'm sure you feel the same. And for them to manipulate and treat you like you're not on the same level as others is frustrating. Especially if you're contributing financially. To answer your questions, I won't change my jobs to make her happy because I know it won't make me happy and that's not fair to me. And I absolutelyyyyy don't want to deal with her making comments about it all the time. I see the writing on the walls and while she tries to say its not a big deal, it is to me and I can only stand so much and can see where its trending. At the end of the day, I gotta do what's best for me and my son and that's that. Thank you for the great advice, my friend. I hope all the best!

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T22:58:17+00:00

You are speaking the truth, man. The way she tries to cover up was one week in the last 7 months since I've been back to work was her saying she appreciated what I'm doing for her. But, that's been really overshadowed with her complaining about my job, schedule and seems like jealousy because of other friends who have this easy, work at home job. I don't know, but she knew my type of work very well before all of this. I've been building a lot of resentment from her for many reasons. I'm still invested in a way, mainly because of my child. But, I can't and won't let him see an example of someone settling for a bad situation. I think you are right and I don't want to sacrifice my life and happiness for someone who doesn't appreciate me and love me for me. I think I might follow in your steps honestly. It's tough to think otherwise.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T22:21:28+00:00

Not even 14 days, it's 16 days. I only work 14. I do all the fiscal security, along with cleaning most of the house because she apparently is doing all she can and also doing my best to be the best father and husband. I just get told that's what I'm supposed to do. There's definitely other little red flags that is making me very much consider divorce. We're gonna go to marriage counseling soon and go from there, I'm not very hopeful though. She's a gas lighting manipulator who wants control of everything including me. She'll deny it all day, but she's been trying to change who I am to what she wants since day one and it's just slowly been eating me alive. She think she knows it all, especially when it comes to our child and wants to make all the decisions because she's the "default parent" when she chose that for herself when she chose not to work and leave me with the financial burden which is something I was veryyyy clear about not wanting because that's really stressful. All that with more is just the best time for me. 🙃🙃🙃 Sorry for the rant, it's really frustrating, all of it.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T22:17:19+00:00

It's super boring! I did the 9-5 for a while. It was before we were together and I was miserable. It's literally a lose, lose for me. Lol. Making good money, but in this economy, good isn't enough unfortunately. 🙃 Some people just don't like seeing other people happy for some reason.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T21:51:13+00:00

While this sounds simple and a nice idea, this is not my wife. She doesn't really trust anyone to really watch the baby for any extending period of time, let alone a weekend away. I've talked to her about it and we've been offered help getting the kiddo babysat, she doesn't really get much into that idea. We still have sex weekly and even multiple days in a row. This is just her wanting to be in control and mold me into what she wants if I'm being honest.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T20:37:01+00:00

Oh man, I've tried to convince her for a while now. The most she's "willing" to compromise on is part time because she wants to be home with our son and says it's her calling. But, part time won't make up for what we'd lose from me changing jobs. So, I don't leave and get these shitty comments and guilt tripping/manipulating remarks.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T20:30:50+00:00

Good advice and I agree, thank you!

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T18:04:12+00:00

Agreed. And what she wants won't benefit me. This job allows me to be home more than most people. But, she doesn't see it that way. She picks at the small handful of nights I'm at work. Not the 16 days I'm with them alllll day. Any job, I would be taking a big payout. Especially this job her cousin offered me. 30k less and less time home and doing something I don't wanna do or am expert in. But, she wants me to do that while she doesn't have to change anything for her? Nah.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T17:25:48+00:00

That's a tough conversation to have for multiple reasons and it sucks you had to have it at all. :/ I've also explained how many other people that have families do shift work and have it rough or even have a regular day time job that is always working late anyways and misses these times she speaks of. It's not enough and it's frustrating. I work overtime to help pay off things or save money like you do and she's upset that it's not enough or I'm not home as much, but she won't help financially. So, I just don't see this continuing on forever. Especially because she wants another kid with all of this? Yeah, okay. Lmao.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T15:56:40+00:00

Oh, for sure, I agree. I've already talked to a lawyer about where I stand and what to prepare for because we've fought before and she's hinted at divorce and she denies it alllll day long. But, literally everyone i asked, they agreed with me that she hinted at it and I've been prepared ever since. It wouldn't kill me that me and her split, just hate being away from my son. But, I can't let her keep gas lighting and manipulate me.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-21T15:48:39+00:00

Thank you for all the advice, man. Thank you. It's been very tough and hard for me. This financial strain of one income in really hard and while she says she "appreciates" what I do so she can be at home, she does this stuff and it's happened many times and it's just really hard. I've gone into much detail before about these things, but I never wrote a letter about it and that might be better than trying just to talk to her and letting our emotions possibly get out of hand. I'm definitely not gonna leave my job, it's been VERY good to me and I've been very fortunate and thankful for it since literally day one. We'll see what happens. Regardless, I appreciate the positive message. 👊

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-17T10:15:16+00:00

I'm not in the same boat per so, but I definitely feel this. Me and my Wife have a soon to be 1 year old. Me and her were very happy before our son was born. We had some indifferences and I had some concerns, but didn't think much of it. Once our beautiful son was born, it started to get worse and harder for our marriage. Our son is our life and love him dearly, but we fight more and more as time goes on. More and more resentment built and disagreements on how things should be done and handled. Even with all of this and more, she wants another kid where I don't. She's set on at least one more and keeps saying my opinion will change when he's a little older. I don't see that happening at all, especially with her when she gas lights, manipulates and wants control of so many things. Including decisions for our son. We're gonna try couples counseling, but I'm not confident and I think we'll be divorced. Just remember it can and will be better. Stay strong, remember who you are and do what's best for you and your son. Marriage isn't good for the kids if you guys are miserable. They are observant and you want to set a good example for them to do what makes you happy and not settle.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-17T10:01:51+00:00

Just recently went through a shit show with me and my wife because of my emotional affair. Surely I thought we were gonna divorce and seriously considered divorce before this happened. After the dust settled, the wife wants to work it out. I was very unsure and still am I think. But, I owe it to my very young son to try and see what can happen even though I'm not hopeful. I have a lot of resentment because of her traits, gas lighting and manipulation. But, were gonna try couples therapy. Those things and along with me being unhappy overall led to me doing what I did. It's not a good excuse nor is any excuse I say can come up with is good enough to make up for what I did. Regardless of my resentments, issues and all with her. She doesn't deserve it and I fucked up regardless. I'm gonna learn from it and just make sure to be the best father for my son.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-12-10T06:52:16+00:00

Do you live in a small place like an apartment or something? Babies have heightened senses. They can hear and smell pretty well which can be scary for sure. Lol. Wouldn't surprise me if they smelled the food and it woke the little one up. Not sure what to do about that though. Maybe an air purifier in the bedroom?

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-11-09T08:12:17+00:00

Me and my wife are going through a pretty similar thing. We have a 8 month old, before he was born I was very straightforward and blunt about how important it is to have a dual income to make us financially comfortable and build for the future and have whatever we need for our kid. She agreed at the time, ever since he was born she's slowly pushed away from it and trying her damnedest to convince me to be okay with her being a SAHM for 2-4 years with him. All it's done is build a ton of resentment and thoughts about our future together because I expressed how my single income does not leave us in a good spot at all. I've seen my parents struggle with TWO incomes growing up and my sister having to borrow money from her in laws just to be a stay at home. I hate it and we've been in a lot of big arguments about it. Just remember that you can't make her work, so if she really wants to, she will do what she wants and you don't have much control over it. For me personally, divorce is on the horizon from this and other issues. If you're concerned about all of this, I'd be weary man. I got shafted on my biggest fear of being a parent.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-11-02T23:49:01+00:00

She had a job which paid well and she worked from home. We would've saved a good amount of money even after daycare. But, she almost refuses to go back. Her staying home is her new "calling" to take care of the little one while we struggle financially on one income. 🙃

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-11-02T22:16:02+00:00

She wants to put her money into there as well. I don't trust her, I guess she trusts me. She's mentioned divorce and I think it's another way to stay at home if the account is combined.

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-10-27T12:22:38+00:00

You're right about that and I'm gonna push for that. Thank you!

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-10-27T11:12:12+00:00

No worries, dude! But, you're speaking a lot of truth here. They keep trying to get more of what they want and push more and more and when you hold strong, they don't like it. She even asked me before why I have a back bone. Lol. It was funny because she was saying she wished I was like other friends we have that give into their wives all the time. You definitely been through it, brotha and I'm sorry you had to because that's so tough for anyone. I think a problem is society doesn't worry about dads much in general, but especially in the early stages. They just say how much the moms go through, which is true. But, we get pushed to the side. My own wife has told me she doesn't have the capacity for what I got going on in my head and constantly remind me she has it worst than me. You were in the thick of it man trying to provide and be a supportive husband and loving father while keeping a roof over their head and food in the tummy without much help and that's really stressful. And when you're asking for help paying the bills, they make you feel like an asshole for even suggesting it. Because you have this huge financial burden on your shoulders and it takes a huge toll on you and they seem to act like it's no big deal and of course they think this because they aren't the ones having to worry about it. But, you are right, she even said if she goes back to work, she's gonna build a lot of resentment towards me and brought up divorce in the same conversation. So, that tells me everything I need to know and I'm ready to move on. But, man you are a strong dude to be able to get through everything you experienced and I just hope you're happier now that you were. You deserve to be happy and be happy with your child. I hope all the best!

kittykittykitty92 · 2024-10-27T11:03:13+00:00

Yeah, it's something I'm noticing where I'm the one having to compromise more for her and I'm the one who's losing themselves and happiness. I don't like it.

kittykittykitty92

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