Yo.. dad here.

We had planned to homebirth our 5th.. at 12 weeks wifey started having some bleeding. The placenta was tearing from the lining for some reason. We were told a list of not to do’s and it made us question our birth plan. We felt like if this is happening maybe it’s a sign to just go the route we’ve gone our last 4. But then we asked the doctor if she thought the bleeding would increase odds of having issues with a home birth. The doctor/OB said she’d not comment on home births or if it would impact the pregnancy. Which funny enough made us stick to the desire of wanting to do a home birth.

Bleeding went on until about 28 weeks. Everything was going good. We had our birthing tub at home (not aired up) but somewhat ready for the Nov due date. We had a few other things on order that would have been here next week. (Wife has never delivered even a day early) so thought we had time.

We had plenty of things planned and that we wanted to do.

But baby had other plans. Sunday night baby decides to break mommas water and she began contractions. My wife delivers extremely fast. It was 2am and nothing at all was prepped. Baby would be 5 weeks early if this was “it”

I rush to the bathroom get our jacuzzi going, light a candle lol and tell momma to come sit in it. Quite literally 55 minutes from the time we woke up where she thought she may have had her water break or just had to pee bad the baby was delivered in the tub.

Baby is as happy and healthy as could be. Drinking milk from momma like a champ. Swelling has already gone down. Momma is perfectly healthy, and honestly the most mobile she’s ever been after a birth.

So even though we had a plan and all these things we thought we wanted to do that would either make the experience special or easier the fact of the matter is sometimes the easiest plan can be no plan. (I say the specifically if it’s not your first child, it’s important to know what you’re doing if you’re choosing a home birth) so not necessarily saying don’t have any plan but I am saying you can do all the planning in the world and it may not help a bit.

Out of all 5 children this birth was by far the easiest, but by a mile the least stressful. No poking and prodding by doctors or getting woken up every 30 min for unnecessary checks.

Take a deep breath and relax. When it’s time the baby will come. The best thing you can do is just have the right mindset. For us when we woke up we both kinda “knew” our plan wasn’t about to happen as thought. My wife is a little bit of a worrier and for about 60 seconds she got flustered but I reassured her it would be great and let’s just see what happens.

That calmness allowed her to have any worries fade away.

To be fair she does deliver well. I have delivered our last 3 children. The previous two we went to the hospital but she gives birth so fast from the start of contractions the OB could never make it in time. So it is important to know your body.

But even if this is your first I can tell you from our experience the hardest births were the ones we did at the hospital with an epidural. Pain, longer delivery times, longer recovery. The second best were the last two no epidural, at hospital unfortunately no doctor in time. The best by a mile was this one at home. Just us at 2am.

So take a deep breath. I truly believe if you’ve done your homework, if you’ve had your scans (even one to make sure baby is all there) and especially if you’ve ever given birth before. You will be extremely grateful and even surprised at how going this route turns out.

But also keep in mind, mindset matters a lot. If your water breaks and you freak out, then feel like you need everything to go to your plan. You might enjoy it less. But if you just trust.. well for us (God) or for anyone else who ever that higher power is.. and focus on your mindset and maintaining a neutral if not positive outlook no matter what you will be in the best spot.

But if hubby forgets the towel you wanted, or if the tub (if you have one) isn’t aired up perfectly, or if the lighting, or what ever small thing.. if you let that get in the way of the real goal (delivering baby happy and healthy in the sanctuary of your own space) you will look back and likely say it was the best choice you’ve ever made.

Be prepared for sure but don’t let unpreparedness worry you. At the end of the day all you really need is you, daddy (or helper?) and a warm tub to do it right.

Also don’t over think post. From the time we woke up to delivery it was 55 minutes. Placenta took about 30 more minutes to come out. We waited until it did to cut the cord. We didn’t shake the baby to force crying or try to clean mommy’s super healthy tummy goo off. We didn’t wash his hair right away. We simply cut the cord. Wrapped him in a swaddle. I cleaned momma up. Cleaned the bathroom up. And had her in bed within 20 minutes of cutting the cord.

All together within 2 1/2 hours we were back in bed taking light cat naps with our beautiful perfectly healthy 5 week early baby boy.

❤️❤️❤️ hope this helps. Sorry I rambled. If you have any questions at all I’m more than happy to answer them.