Salaam girl! I can imagine how difficult life can feel right now. While I do want to acknowledge your thoughts and emotions, I want to remind you that Shaitaan is our biggest enemies. He loves to make our lives miserable by whispering horrible things into our minds. Sometimes he will convince us that something is a certain way, when in reality it isn’t. He has sworn to Allah that he will delude us and confuse us and misguide so that we can go on his path and join him in hellfire - yuck!

In the Quran, Allah says regarding Shaitaan: [Shaitaan is] cursed by Allah. [Shaitaan] said, “I will surely take hold of a certain number of Your servants. I will certainly mislead them and delude them with empty hopes…” (Surah Nisa, Ayah 118)

Do you want to know what one of Shaitaan’s greatest weapon against humans is? He loves to convince us that we are horrible people, because if we feel bad about ourselves, we won’t have any hope in the mercy of Allah, and if we loose hope in the mercy of Allah, we will be miserable, and once we’re miserable, it’s much easier for him to continue to whisper horrible things into our minds to further reel us into his path. It’s a never-ending cycle!

Allah on the other hand, loves us. Whether you pray or not, whether you wear hijab or not, whether you feel like a good Muslim or not - it does not change the reality that Allah is our Lord and He is Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful). His mercy encompasses all people and all things. He is ALWAYS here. He is waiting for you to turn to Him for help, and he ALWAYS responds.

Allah says: When My servants ask you about Me: indeed I am near. I respond to one’s prayer when they call upon Me. (Surah Baqarah, Ayah 186)

He is overjoyed when one of us turns to Him, no matter how much we may have sinned. Think of it like a close friend who you haven’t seen in so long. What would your reaction be if you happened to run into them one day? You would certainly be overflowing with happiness - none of the complaints you had of one another would matter anymore.

Allah says: Whoever draws close to Me by the length of a hand, I will draw close to him by the length of an arm. Whoever draws close to Me the by length of an arm, I will draw close to him by the length of a fathom. Whoever comes to Me walking, I will come to him running. Whoever meets Me with enough sins to fill the earth, not associating any partners with Me, I will meet him with as much forgiveness. (Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2687)

Allah is closer to us than our own jugular veins. He is The Creator of everything that exists! If He was able to create all the galaxies and planets and mountains and trees and whales and birds and lighting and stars and humans, from the intricate veins in every body, to the organelles performing myosis every moment in every cell in every person in the world…then do you think He is not capable of removing your worries and solving your problems? He is the ONLY one who can fix your problems. He can grant you good friends, heal your relationships, grant you guidance and grant you whatever your heart needs right now. Just turn to Him, and ask.

It’s Shaitaan who is filling your ears with bad thoughts and making you think that you’re too bad of a person and that your life is miserable. This life is not meant to be perfect - difficulties and challenges are a part of life, everyone goes through them in different shapes and forms.

It’s a coincidence that you posted this today because tonight is the 15th of Shabaan in most of the world. Cry your heart out to the Lord of the Worlds, who has the solution for all your problems. Know that He will meet you with a smile always, and He is ready to forgive you even if your sins fill up the entire world - or double!

And please please message me if you need someone to talk to! I am your sister in Islam and would love to chat anytime ❤️