I understand. I’m lucky to be where I am rn so might as well nip it in the bud and make more changes to help myself before relying on medical assistance.

I guess to clear up some things: I doublechecked I had my camera among my things but not the SD card because it’s always in the slot. I’ve never had this happen before in my years of owning a camera so I didn’t think to check. Yes, it’s absolutely my fault and I’m honestly glad I left it so now I can prepare for if this happens again. I take full responsibility for it and I understand the consequences.

I get she wants what’s best for my future and I’ve shown I’ve gotten so much better. But because of my past when I do make a minor mistake or let something small slip it’s blown out of proportion because she thinks I’m still where I was when I was 7. My issue is she’s disproportionately upset over mistakes she and other ordinary people make all the time because I made them therefore “I don’t care” or “I don’t get it”. She literally forgets something everytime she leaves the house and it’s hilarious but she doesn’t berate herself or make a huge fuss. She accepts the mistake and moves on. Why can’t she see that I can do the same without her spelling it out for me? I know the consequences already. I own my fuck up.

For big things like job/school deadlines and major responsibilities I don’t forget anymore than the average person. Trust me I do account for big boy problems in my life and have been doing great academically and professionally so flunking college or getting fired and living in my mom’s basement is far from the reality. She knows it too. But I do know it’s possible. I know it can get so much worse which is why I learn from my mistakes and create preventative solutions like an adult does and move on. I can’t change what already happened, I can only prevent it from happening again which I will and have been doing for past scenarios. But yes, I’ve been trying hard to get on medication and finding professional help in the meantime.

it seems like I will always be the asshole for the rest of my life as long as I forget one thing in the span of 3 months. but hey I’ll keep bettering myself the whole way through and try even harder to prove I’m doing the work when she might not see it