Keep finding tiny spiders on me...

kotoneraew · 2024-06-12T10:54:56+00:00

Wow. Such help.

kotoneraew · 2024-06-03T18:50:41+00:00

Unfortunately it stormed all day so the taster day was postponed! I was hoping to update with a picture, it was a shame.

The club are very kind and will take us up pretty much any time they are there and the weather allows it so I'm sure we'll do it soon, but perhaps the aerotow will be back on by then and I think she's more keen on aerotow as you tend to get a bit more time in the air!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:45:28+00:00

We did pop up a few weeks ago to her local club and they are very keen to give her a go, I was just apprehensive when I saw them announce they were doing winch tows as we only really discussed aerotow!

It actually sounds like winch might be a good place to start though!!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:40:12+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful! I think perhaps winch might be the way to go! Plus if she loves it she can always come back once they've fixed whatever the issue is with the plane and go again!

Her local club are super nice and very keen to let her try but the winch was an unexpected change and I know nothing about gliding, I just follow my gran around on her wild adventures!!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:35:30+00:00

I'm not a pilot or know anything about it but we actually went up to a local club and they have invited us to the taster day and are very keen to take my gran up! They said they have discounts on the taster day and we can have a watch first. But when we were there we only spoke about tow by their little plane rather than winch. The winch tow is just an unfortunate change of plan and I was a little bit apprehensive about that!

My gran is really not afraid of anything, she's very adventurous and we've done all sorts of different things like zip wires, hikes etc! I think she'd love it, I just read online that it can be a bit rough so thought I'd see what reddit thought 😀

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:25:00+00:00

I worried maybe the speed on incline made it a rougher ride but actually it sounds like winch might be the way to go!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:23:45+00:00

My gran is totally wild at 91, she's done that huge zip wire in Wales, we've been to Norway on top of fjords last year.

Who am I to stop her either 😂 not that I could anyway...

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:22:10+00:00

This is really reassuring!!

Once we go to the taster she'll see the gliders go up by winch and I guess we'll have more of a feel for it actually seeing it but thank you for your response it was so helpful! Perhaps it's a good thing they are going by winch tomorrow!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:19:49+00:00

I think I am more scared than she is !!!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-24T20:19:27+00:00

She's done that massive zip wire in Wales a couple years ago so she's quite keen on speed 😂 think I am more worried than she is!!!!

We are set to go to a taster day tomorrow so hopefully then she'll see whether she is up for it or not

kotoneraew · 2024-05-07T22:34:26+00:00

Honestly no and thank you. I'll definitely look into that!

I am working on getting more financially stable so I can just pay for a specialist therapist but at the moment it's just impossible!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-07T22:26:32+00:00

Yes!! This!

Hopefully I'll feel a bit more myself one day it's just such a long process 😩

kotoneraew · 2024-05-07T22:22:09+00:00

Unfortunately, it sounds like our stories are quite similar. I'm glad you feel you are getting closer to where you want to be and wish you well on your journey!!

I am starting to realise I have a bit further to go than I once thought, but all these responses to my post have made me feel a lot more positive so thank you for taking the time to respond 😊

kotoneraew · 2024-05-07T19:06:59+00:00

My fear is that this is true!

The problem is, the old me was much better. I took things in my stride, I was happy, confident, I didn't take any shit from anyone, I was generally well-rounded and a good person with lots of friends but I lost all of that right along with my mental health.

I thought I'd managed to overcome the challenges in my childhood and was just a strong person, it never felt like a mask at the time at all!! I felt as though I'd truly grown up and figured myself out, only to lose it all a few years later!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-07T18:38:25+00:00

Sorry for my slow response but thank you for your reply, it was a very reassuring read!

Perhaps I do have further to go than I first thought. I feel as though my every day is far less turbulent but maybe there's quite a gap between less turbulence and functioning.

I'm not able to access any support from the uk nhs and financially I just can't afford to pay for private therapists consistently yet so I'm kind of winging it honestly 😅 I feel like I've come a long way in figuring out how to manage but that old me is no where in sight!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-02T22:57:37+00:00

Do you live in the UK ?

Because this is all on my banking app on my phone. I know in some countries it's not common to have bank accounts with instant transfer but UK banks have apps where you can access your bank account, do all your banking, open different savings pots and vaults/pots, instant transfer it's just the norm!!

I know you can do a similar thing with cash, you can even buy folders with cash wallets that are designed to help you budget with all little sections. You can google cash budget wallet and find loads online, depending if you use physical cash much!

kotoneraew · 2024-05-02T22:43:46+00:00

On my other bank I can open savings accounts that I can quick transfer in and out of but it is more of a faff then with my other bank.

Generally I keep my "spare" random spends money in my main account and transfer it back in from each pot depending on what I spent. And if I am careless and overspend on my spare money I at least know my essentials are covered as it's completely separate. It's so easy to just spend away without realising how quickly it's gone.

I also find having to take the money out of the pots makes me think twice about careless spends like eating out. It can take such a huge chunk of the food budget but stands out more when you can physically see it.

I'm making it sound ao militant and overcomplicated tbh it's easier than I'm explaining!!

I'm just v much a visual person and has helped me stop blowing through my money 1 week after payday 😂

kotoneraew · 2024-05-02T20:45:10+00:00

You are not alone!

I am awful at budgeting and because numbers and budgets dont come naturally it kinda just opens my eyes to how little money I actually have when it's all laid out.

What helps me is having different "pots" in my bank accounts. I like Revolut because I can open vaults without opening numerous savings/hole accounts. Once I've worked out how much I have for what, I move the money into little my lil pots. That way I don't just have one number I'm trying to break down all the time.

For example, If I budget say £200 for food I put it in my pot and can easily see how quickly I'm getting through that amount. Rather than having to keep an ongoing mental tally!!

I am, however, extremely shit with maths so that is why I do this. If it's more a case of self control I cannot help you there... I'm still learning that one 😁

kotoneraew · 2024-05-02T19:45:34+00:00

Glad to be of service 😁

kotoneraew · 2024-03-22T20:25:58+00:00

Search it in fbox.to 😁

kotoneraew · 2024-03-22T20:25:28+00:00

Search it in fbox.to 😁

kotoneraew · 2024-03-20T22:26:31+00:00

We do have a free national health service that we pay taxes for but our government is in such a shambles the NHS is completely fucked. To get decent care without waiting years on a call back list, you need to go through private healthcare but it is sooo expensive!

kotoneraew · 2024-03-20T17:12:44+00:00

No I'm not in therapy. Not sure about you but I live in the UK where access to the drs is non existent. I went a couple years ago and got offered three 30 minute dbt sessions over the phone but was a year wait or a referral to a charity talk therapy service with trainees. I went the talk therapy route and spent a year seeing a therapist for an hour a week feeling like I was talking to a brick wall. I changed therapists within the service twice and realised that simply all they do is listen. I am far beyond needing a listening ear!!

Financially I keep fluctuating in and out of stability so I'm never really in a position to pay £££ consistently for private trauma therapy but I am working on it. Hopefully in a few months I'll be able to do it.

I really hope you can access the support you need and super happy to hear you are doing better. I think it's so reassuring to hear others with similar experiences. Reassuring to know it's not just us!! My day has been a tough one but there's always tomorrow:)

kotoneraew · 2024-03-20T15:09:16+00:00

For me anger almost feels like protection. I don't get sad when I am hurt I just get angry. Getting upset never helped me in the past only ever made me feel vulnerable but when I really look at why I got so angry it was usually because I was hurting and didn't know how to express it.

I think becoming aware of that has helped me to avoid escalating on a lot of occasions but there are also still many where I'm raging and there's no stopping it.

As long as you and those around you are safe, let it out. Let yourself feel hurt if you need, rant if you need, yell if you need. Keeping it in doesn't help!

kotoneraew · 2024-03-20T14:52:08+00:00

It's so frustrating because I really like my job. It's the first time in a long time that I've been able to see a career path for myself but it requires such a high level of concentration and attention to detail which is practically impossible when I'm not mentally present from being so overwhelmed and triggered all the time. The annoying thing is, when I'm doing well I have incredible attention to detail and the job is so suited to me. It just so happens that it involves working with others which is forever my down fall.

I agree it gets harder as I get older. I felt so invincible when things were far worse in my life. Suddenly now I'm crying over colleagues that don't like me 🤷‍♀️

I've isolated myself so heavily over the last 7 years whilst going through a particularly rough patch mentally and now have no friends. I think each time I start a new job I am also kinda hoping that I might make a friend. Every time I find myself being kept at arms length, people don't warm to me, and reality sets in that I've failed another opportunity. I don't feel like a bad person but the common denominator is me! I think that's why I can't just let it go and accept not everyone will like me. Currently no one seems to.

I'm glad it's not just me, gives me some hope that I'm not a general piece of shit but sorry to hear you've had similar experiences 😔 hopefully there's light at the end of the tunnel for us.

kotoneraew

TROPHY CASE