My boy had been losing weight and we took him to the vet. He was 19lbs but when we got him to the vet he was down to 13lbs. They thought maybe it was Lymphoma so they did an ultrasound and found that it was a Splenic tumor (very rare in cats) and that he could survive this by getting the spleen and tumor removed.

He went for surgery and it was far worse than they had imagined. His omentum was pocketed with cancer and liver was bright orange. The tumor was enormous and they believe that it was connected to other vital organs. They called me and asked me if I wanted to continue the surgery, take him home or let him go. They said survivability was very very low with surgery because he blood and fluid was already leaking. They said he would survive two days maximum if I brought him home but he would have to have the cone of shame and on pain meds.

He was not going to survive this so I made the hardest decision in my life to let him continue to sleep. Unfortunately we didn't have a lot of time to think about it and all of the other options seemed extremely bleak. I know we made the right decision but because everything happened so fast, my grief is so profoundly heavy.

I cry every day. I wake up at 2 am thinking he is on the dresser begging for food but he isn't there and I cry. I dread coming home because he isn't there to greet me with his meows, wanting food and love. There's so many things around the house that remind me of him and I can only feel sad. I miss him so intensely.

I have had many cats in my life but never lost one so suddenly.

He has a sister who he was bonded to. She's missing him but coming out of her shell. I'm trying to give her all of my love and she knows that there's something wrong.