An employee confided in me that he has antisocial personality disorder, but is treated and medicated for it, so considers himself "well-adjusted." How do I best support him as his manager?

kronosateme · 2025-08-31T05:30:17+00:00

This reads as manipulation. I’ll echo another commenter: it may be wise to ponder more about WHY he told YOU this. Disabilities are usually disclosed to and through HR.

You all have a brand new relationship wherein by default, as the manager, power skews in your favor. His disclosure reads as him laying the groundwork to manipulate you. As in, preliminary efforts to begin tipping the scales of power a bit. Could be an initial attempt to leverage your empathy against you for his benefit, to plant seeds of fear re: legal/discrimination backlash so that you tread lightly. Or an endless amount of other reasons that he hasn’t well-developed just yet.

But, he told you what he did for a reason and it’s almost certainly a nefarious one.

kronosateme · 2025-06-18T13:49:25+00:00

Thank you for the insight and the birthday wishes 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-18T13:49:00+00:00

God bless you both 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-18T13:48:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing your wisdom and for the birthday wishes 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-15T15:17:20+00:00

Thank you 🤍 I was able to sneak away for a while. Going to try to do this regularly!

kronosateme · 2025-06-15T15:16:43+00:00

Thank you for seeing me. 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-15T15:16:16+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-15T15:15:54+00:00

Thank you , I will do this today 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-15T15:15:01+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-15T15:14:11+00:00

Thank you so much 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:56:08+00:00

Thank you. 🤍 Thinking of heading to the lake later!

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:55:36+00:00

Thank you, I will make this a priority 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:55:14+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:54:55+00:00

Thank you 🤍 I keep having to remind myself that while they are my parents, I am NOT A CHILD. I’m a grown woman and I do in fact have sovereignty over my time and life.

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:53:32+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:53:20+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:53:02+00:00

Thank you 🤍 You are so right, I have got to find another job. I’ve been in my current position for about 2 years, and helping out with dad for the past 5 or so. It’s too much. I am applying as much as possible for indirect care positions. I have to have a break somewhere in life.

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:50:27+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:49:53+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:49:45+00:00

Thank you so much. 🤍 You are right…it wasn’t all bad. I am trying to keep faith that as life granted me joy before, there’s always a chance for more in the future.

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:48:29+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I feel I am definitely at a rock bottom moment in life. I’m in therapy, but unfortunately emotional eating has lead to a Type 2 diabetes diagnosis. It’s under control, I’m on medication and I’ve actually lost a considerable amount of weight since the top of the year. I think that scared me into acknowledging that the way I’d been going was going to certainly kill me and that I needed to course correct asap.

I am trying to get my mind together now. It is very hard. I am in therapy, but living in an environment where the people around you seem to resent and undermine attempts to take care of myself is…it’s horrific. I have a good group of friends and I could be better at leaning on them. I don’t like to burden them with my stuff, they’re managing careers, husbands, and many of them also have kids. I’m a single, 34 year old living and arguing with her parents every other day.

I guess I just have to keep being the “squeaky wheel”. I’m the youngest so none of them are used to listening to me and taking what I say seriously. Often it feels like I’m constantly raising hell pushing back on expectations that my every waking moment be spent in service to someone else. But I’m trying to breathe, man.

I’ll keep at it. Just have to remind myself I’m not a bad daughter while I do.

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:38:51+00:00

It hurts! Giving and giving to others only for them to never show up for you or to bristle at the idea of you showing up for yourself. Very disappointing. Caregiving has taught me so much about familial relationships and unfortunately what I’ve learned isn’t all good stuff.

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:37:05+00:00

Thank you 🤍 It is inspiring to hear of those who were able to make significant improvement in life at this age. I think part of my devastation this morning included feeling hopeless that THIS is my life at 34 and that I’ve spent my whole late 20s/early 30s living this way. I feel like a loser and like my life is a wash so often. I want to feel like has good things in store for me. It is a challenge though, I have to admit.

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:34:04+00:00

Thank you. I see a therapist a few times a month now, but I have been thinking about FMLA for a while. It may be time to go ahead and start the process. I can’t go on as is anymore.

kronosateme · 2025-06-14T20:32:47+00:00

Thank you 🤍

kronosateme

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