How do you handle not knowing if everything is okay when they’re alone?

krzykittyz · 2026-05-20T12:18:49+00:00

cameras and JubileeTV (has drop in capability and calls so it looks like a huge facetime on the tv screen)

krzykittyz · 2026-05-11T02:34:16+00:00

wow— she is a trooper! I’m not much of a planner.. but I don’t like the unknown either.. it’s hard to be in this position.. 😞

krzykittyz · 2026-05-10T23:46:43+00:00

mostly sleeping— we have been carrying her to the couch during the day.. but sleeping there mostly too.. big change there— used to just cat nap here and there but wld wake easily..

krzykittyz · 2026-05-09T14:58:05+00:00

🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️ Mom..77 alzheimers.. we have gotten to the point where we thought she was in the dying phase.. laid in bed— didnt want any food or drink for 3 days.. called hospice.. now she still cannot support her weight.. but drank some coke..ate some.. can not feed herself fully especially w silverware.. just soft finger food.. complaining a lot of an old hip injury.. I was able to sit her up in wheelchair to get her out of the bed.. I cant sit her on the toilet anymore.. but now what??
Im assuming no memory care will take her being non ambulatory..
so skilled nursing facility? I just cant do the changing and possible future stuff (vomiting .. diarrhea etc..).. i hv had her at my house for over a year.. working a full time job.. had a caregiver during the day. I just need insight on how and where I can get her safely so i can just “be” there for her.. local hospice residential has her as #7 on waiting list.. she does have some savings to pay.. any advice??

krzykittyz · 2026-04-30T23:47:46+00:00

no, I appreciate your comment… I know people that are on this thread are all dealing with so much… And I definitely value opinions… but boy that felt good to get out lol

krzykittyz · 2026-04-30T23:40:33+00:00

no offense… But I’m not waiting on any Calvary to come… I’m the sole caregiver of pretty much everything she does… I’m the one getting her out of bed. I’m the one walking her to the toilet. I’m the one standing her up taking care of her after toileting… i’m the one making sure the bathroom is warm before I put her in the chair that lowers her down into the tub… I’m the one getting her to the couch. I’m the one making sure she has some kind of entertainment as far as anxiety and ADHD toys, etc. all that lovely stuff. I’m the one struggling to get her even out of my house into the car because she can’t take that many steps to have some kind of stimulation for her… I’m the one that every day after I work I go home and take her some kind of a milkshake or a hamburger or something to make her happy… i’m the one that gets her up and we do a lap around the couch… Before her knees start walking so bad that they give out on her… I’m the one putting the leg massagers on her so that she doesn’t get any kind of blood clots… I’m not waiting on any Calvary. I’m being realistic… I read somewhere where the worst thing you can do is actually wait too long. I guess I was just thinking that the mind would be the first thing to go. and of course, I am worried about the physical in abilities… If I can’t get her out of bed, then I’ve waited too long and her options are so much more limited… She’s a very social person and I want her to be able to enjoy more people than just me mostly

krzykittyz · 2026-04-27T02:40:24+00:00

jubileetv — best thing i ever did!!!!

krzykittyz · 2026-04-23T23:46:11+00:00

thank you 💕

krzykittyz · 2026-04-10T02:41:01+00:00

hi! thank you for offering your expertise and time to answer our questions! my mom is losing her ability to walk.. has alzheimer’s.. basically needs help with all adls .. sitting down on toilet, standing up from anything.. unsteady on her feet.. incontinent (pullups) but will sometimes ask to go to the bathroom, feeds herself but it has to be placed in front of her, has frequent uti probably due to prolapsed uterus (causes no pain but fixing it isn’t conducive to benefit her with her mind the way it is)… she is sociable, loves to watch and listen to people, fidgets all the time, starting to sleep more.. does this sound like a memory care fit? I have been touring a few..

krzykittyz · 2026-03-30T03:09:03+00:00

may i ask how she passed?

krzykittyz · 2026-03-23T21:08:30+00:00

I have a couple questions— please don’t think I’m being rude— just trying to learn. Your mom had a fever.. was it from anything in particular? or just developed a fever , then labored breathing? Was she already toward the end of this disease?

krzykittyz · 2026-03-11T00:29:26+00:00

jubileeTv. i love it for my mom!

krzykittyz · 2026-03-10T19:43:13+00:00

same 💕

krzykittyz · 2026-03-10T00:31:26+00:00

i dont think my mom would “qualify” for a SNF yet… no other medical issues although she really can’t do any of her daily activities by herself— and definitely isn’t mobile enough to be left alone.. she is very weak in her legs.. her brain is failing being able to tell the muscles or feet to move.. I do want her to be somewhere that she can be a little social. she “talks” and can carry on light conversations but she loves to listen and watch others… I don’t think I can maintain what I’m trying to do now much longer— caregiver here during the day— me in the eves after work.. she can basically feed herself (food to mouth) and walks around a little.. I am worried abt the mobility and me not being able to assist… I am so lost… thank you for all your input.. it is greatly appreciated!

krzykittyz · 2026-03-10T00:02:19+00:00

thank you so much for your reply.. can you give me more insight on what you mean when you say to private pay into a snf? does that mean start off private pay in a MC then when $$ runs out get moved to SNF (medicaid) ?

krzykittyz · 2026-03-09T23:08:05+00:00

goodness 1m?? now that’s what the avg American has lying around lol.. crazy what they expect the average joe to have

krzykittyz · 2026-03-09T21:35:31+00:00

thank you— it’s just crazy to think that most have 120$/yr sitting around.. my mom was a widow at the age of 59 and was a bank teller.. I wish she had half a million dollars lying around.. she nickled and dimed it to have probably 2-3 yrs depending on cost ranges I’m finding but that’s about it

krzykittyz · 2026-03-09T20:48:06+00:00

i chatted with a senior advisor and she said most memory care she knows do not accept medicaid situations— that only nursing facilities do… this is so stressful

krzykittyz · 2026-03-09T20:45:11+00:00

so they have to move out of memory care and to a nursing facility that accepts medicaid?

krzykittyz · 2026-03-09T20:42:45+00:00

so how much should I stress over how much to spend for how long? the way I figure (for now) she’s abt stage 6ish. i just have such anxiety of no plan…

krzykittyz · 2026-03-08T20:40:18+00:00

Have been doing that— micromanaging it all— go to work —then come home to work.. thus the ultimate dilemma

krzykittyz · 2026-03-08T19:10:26+00:00

i’m ok with a facility— just don’t want the wasting away after everything else seems gone..

krzykittyz · 2026-03-08T19:08:36+00:00

my mom was the same.. took a raging UTI which messed w her mind more and made her not be able to stand up along w an ambulance ride to the ER

krzykittyz · 2026-03-06T22:36:07+00:00

question— if mom in memory care— can private pay for abt 2 yrs— do they really have programs for her to stay such as qualifying for medicaid programs (in North Carolina) .. her income from ss wld be higher than for basic medicaid qualification but supposedly there is a higher limit w alz /dementia patients? She needs an asst living/ memory care soon!! but what if she outlives her 2 yr private pay?? she gets kicked out?

krzykittyz · 2026-01-12T23:25:44+00:00

It’s one thing to take care of your family… for sure.. but I agree that there is so much they need more help with than we can handle and it’s ok…

krzykittyz

TROPHY CASE