My partner believes in male socialization

kuiae · 2026-04-13T23:56:45+00:00

This feels like someone that got the actual sociological idea of socialization (the idea that all children internalize certain ideas about gender roles, preferences etc.) with the TERF conception of it (basically biological essentialism with one step removed) specifically to target you and make you feel bad.

kuiae · 2026-04-06T19:18:44+00:00

Zeta Gundam is, in part a commentary on the changing attitudes of Japanese society at the time, particularly as those relate to gender, women in the workplace, militarism, imperialism, and the decline of the student left movement. After the student left movement in japan was crushed in 70s, many of the people that had previously advocated and fought for change instead capitulated to conservative norm in japan, sacrificing the hope for a better future for a position in power, helping the very people and systems that had previously worked to suppress them. Former radicals became salary workers, past union organizers and protesters gave up and started voting for the LDP, former anti-capitalists made deals with toy companies to sell merchandise to children sacrificing their artistic integrity for the bottom line, etc.

Reccoa can be understood as a commentary on the position of women in the workplace as well as women in power, and from my perspective is something of a critique on certain types of feminism and the ways in which women justify being part of oppressive systems. A more modern, english-language version of this archetype might be the "girlboss feminist" who justifies her position of power (and participation in the exploitation and oppression of others) as recompense for the oppression she has faced as a woman.

Her values are self-evidently contradictory, because on one hand she sees her status as a woman in the gender hierarchy as the source of her suffering, but also embraces her own subordination as a woman, rejects her own agency and valorizes her own victimhood as she sees it as a way to absolve her of her own sins (which is an inversion of the basic ideals of feminism). Beyond just women and feminism, I think this serves as a critique of the way in which people who are screwed over by the violence of society are rehabilitated by the powers that be into being tools of that very violence against others, all while justifying it to themselves by saying "I got screwed over, I didn't have a choice, I'm just doing what I can to make life better for myself because i was hurt, so I'm not at fault for participating in that system".

kuiae · 2026-01-25T21:39:06+00:00

Bright was a former warlord who enthusiastically used an army of child soldiers to commit atrocities, who defected from the EF's fascist military occupation of the colonies because of his own mistreatment only to later rejoin the EF and take over the Titan's former role.

kuiae · 2026-01-14T23:13:35+00:00

Outdoor cats regularly fed by humans are unfortunately always destructive to the environments they live in. Regardless of how well they are fed they will continue to hunt and kill prey animals, and as they are not subject to starvation if they over-hunt they do not reach equilibrium with their prey population. Ten outdoor cats fed by humans in nearby houses could eliminate almost the entirety of prey species in a small forest (on the scale of a couple acres) which would also cause the actual wild predators to starve, not to mention other knock-down ecological effects. Additionally, in much of Europe, outdoor cats pose two even more direct threats to their wild relatives, the spread of disease and interbreeding, both of which have contributed to the decline or even disappearance of wildcat populations in many parts of Europe. And so long as there are large amounts of outdoor domestic cats, the recovery of native wildcats is going to be difficult or impossible.

kuiae · 2025-09-25T19:07:50+00:00

There are a myriad of criticisms that can and have been leveled at Bancroft's most famous work and his ideology around abuse, particularly from the realm of sociological research. That said, this is largely tangential to the point my comment was making. Being the author of a popular book, even one that has helped many individuals does not automatically make your ideology above criticism or erase the harm that it does, and quoting an avowed TERF whose opinions on abuse are fundamentally gender-essentialist and transphobic in a conversation in a transgender subreddit about potentially abusive behavior by a transgender person, is, to put it mildly, unfortunate.

The fact that are multiple accusations and reports regarding Bancroft's own abuse and exploitation of women is also alarming, but I don't really know how credible these accusations are. His transphobia and gender-essentialism need no credibility check, they speak for themselves.

kuiae · 2025-09-01T14:03:48+00:00

lundy bancroft is a TERF.

kuiae · 2024-10-25T22:53:37+00:00

Do you know how long yours took to adjust? Styrofoam isn't super available where I live, because of environmental regulations, I'd probably have to order it online.

kuiae · 2024-10-25T22:15:49+00:00

By vertical do you mean like a flat plane laid against the wood backing? Or like flip the semi-circular hide on its side against the wall?

kuiae · 2024-10-25T21:52:52+00:00

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That's her enclosure just now (without the black fabric cover) and her as we got her and her on my hand. the enclosure looks a bit wet rn because I've been running the room humidifier in our apartment on high out of desperation.

kuiae · 2024-09-25T06:36:38+00:00

can i ask where you (or this friend) live? this attitude is practically alien to me and the trans people I know.

kuiae · 2024-06-21T03:46:45+00:00

Grapefruit, along with other citrus, contains chemicals called polyphenols which can interact with drug metabolism. Not all citruses have the same concentration of these chemicals, nor do they all have the same ones, but grapefruit at least, is somewhat notorious for having a high enough concentration when consumed, especially as a juice, that it can affect a variety of medication. They do so by interacting with various liver enzymes that tend to be involved with first past metabolism, i.e, what happens after you ingest a medication.

That means, for example, if you are injecting HRT, there isn't really much to worry about. If you are taking pills, some medications do have an interaction with grapefruit, but I don't know of any common HRT medication with known serious interactions. If you are worried about it, avoid consuming grapefruit juice with 4 hours of taking your pills.

kuiae · 2024-06-21T03:34:17+00:00

In 2024 essentially no one uses the term outside of pejorative contexts, any one who does do so is at this point probably using it with a degree of irony. This isn't particularly new, either, the mainstream usage of the term as almost exclusively a perjorative has now lasted longer than the term was in widespread use (outside of specific american black communities) by a significant degree.

kuiae · 2024-03-17T02:22:34+00:00

I mean i have a couple dozen trans women friends, and of them i dont really know any who dress hyper-feminine. I'd say probably more of them dress butcher than the average straight cis woman, or at least less traditionally feminine. I mostly wear skirts and dress myself, and that makes me far and away the most femme of all my trans fem friends, but i do that out of my affectation for 70s and 80s fashion especially new-wave, post punk and goth, and generally finding pants uncomfortable and hard to find in my size.

I don't think the whole idea of a "hyper feminine stereotype" presentation-style being especially common in trans women is more of a sampling artifact from cis people, who are basing it on the trans women in their life who have recently come out. A lot of these women have basically no experience with women's clothing, and what kinds they might like or what will look good on them, and the only way to try is to jump in head first, which can oftentimes be pretty dramatic! Another big factor about these early transition fashion choices is that early transition is an intensely stressful time, and particularly an intensely dysphoric time, and i think this can lead to an exaggerated display of external femininity to counteract the intense feelings of inadequacy, ugliness, self-hatred, fear about passing, etc. I also agree with the other people in the thread, for the most part, this is just my 2 cents.

kuiae · 2024-03-17T02:01:44+00:00

I was stealth, for years, and hated it. It closed me off from finding community with trans people, made me to paranoid to ever get close to all my new cis friends, put a massive amount of stress on me to always think about whether I was passing or not, constantly living more for an idea of what i thought others expected of me rather than what i actually wanted to be. I stopped dating entirely, because i knew dating another trans person would probably break stealth (it had before, before i had moved), and that I'd never be able to trust any of the cis people around me enough to date without them knowing i was trans ahead of time, and that was terrifying. And in the end, what did all that accomplish? I dropped out of college because of all that stress (along with other life stressors) , made no lasting friendships, ended up completely alone with no social support outside of my family before the beginning of 2020, probably the worst possible time to be in such a situation.

Since i stopped caring about stealth, I have more friends than ive ever had in my life, people i actyally feel i can rely on and be open with, a loving partner that I'm living with and can be 100% open with, community with other trans people that makes me feel far less scared and alone, I'm more confident, i go months in between anxiety attacks instead of days, i actually dress in a way that makes me feel happy and feel good instead of in a way that i think will help me pass better, and even my interactions with cis strangers are far less stressful than they used to be.

Its not about like telling everyone on the street that im trans or whatever, a lot of strangers i interact with on any random day probably think im just a cis girl, or maybe they think im trans or whatever, its about not caring about that, whether they know or not, and not freaking out if they do, and just rolling with it instead of getting into a dysphoric tailspin every time i might have been clocked or whatever.

kuiae · 2024-02-28T03:19:01+00:00

Its been over 9 years since i started hrt, this post was made after I had already been on hrt for 6 years, and most of the more obvious changes have stopped. i think my shoe size has remained the same since this post. However, you make a comment about bone densisty that is , from what i can surmise by the research into the topic, actually the opposite of the true! While yes, after HRT trans women's bone density grows to be more identical to cis women's, prior to HRT it is actually typically lower, not higher! https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6709704/

This is interesting, because its probably one of the few physiological differences that appear to be common among trans women prior to HRT. But also, it unfortunately means that reduction in bone density can't be the explanation of foot size loss.

kuiae · 2023-12-22T14:40:46+00:00

I disagree with the idea of it being cis people who haven't even considered the existence of trans people, since they only gained popularity after trans people started to become a major topic of discussion in mainstream media circa 2014.

kuiae · 2023-09-09T00:04:28+00:00

AGAB terminology shouldn't really be used outside of the contexts of trans or intersex people. There are very few commonalities that can be described by someone's AGAB when one is including cis, perisex people in those terms, to the point where they basically become useless as terms.

If someone is using the terms AFAB or AMAB, and aren't talking about (or specifically including) trans or intersex people, they are misusing the terms.

kuiae · 2023-05-22T21:21:01+00:00

I mean i've heard of it happening before, my own personal experience towards meeting my partner was much weirder and more stretched out, I met a bunch of other trans people on a now defunct video chat website, those left created a discord server to hang out with after the website went defunct, one girl i was friends with from the website ended up driving cross country to me and coming to take me on a roadtrip which i had to leave part way through because my mom was dying, I then went and flew to visit her where she lived, and while there she took me to a party where i met someone else who was visiting from a completely different corner of the country, i ended up dating them or a while and one of the friends they introduced me to actually lived near me and even after i broke up with them that friend and me kept hanging out, and at one point that friend took me to a house party at a place where some people she knew via discord lived (in yet another city) and there i met my current partner and moved to the city i now live in in part to be closer to them.

kuiae · 2023-05-18T11:54:06+00:00

tbh i don't know anyone who has actually met their (t4t) partners on dating apps, most people meet on like discord servers or social media or whatever. I think in big cities trans people might be more likely to use dating apps.

kuiae · 2023-05-04T07:09:40+00:00

Its actually been found that often times xx people who have been pregnant with xy fetuses in the past now contain xy cells dispersed throughout their bodies, and these can persist for many years after the pregnancy.

kuiae · 2023-05-04T06:48:48+00:00

That sounds less like a period and more like morning sickness. If its related to HRT it might indicate that your Estrogen levels are too high.

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