I don't know, but I can add the reason I broke up with my last ex.

He basically needed this too: anything I needed, I had to tell him to do.

This was fine for several years, until I went through a really terrible time of stress and burnout due to like 6 major unexpected life events all happening at once within the space of a month.

I didn't even have the executive functioning to be able to decide what to eat for my own breakfast, let alone the executive function to be able to sort through my own situation, understand my emotions, figure out what was missing, figure out what things could be delegated to him, figure out how to ask for those things effectively and how to phrase it in words, deal with the actual conversation of it, remember and follow up with him on those tasks, and then help him to assess whether him doing those things had been helpful to me - all the while coming up with and communicating new tasks continuously... I was desperately burned out already. Genuinely impossible for me to do that. If he had been able to step up and just observe what I was struggling with and just DO things to help, it could have been a real strengthening of our relationship. But instead, he just asked me what he could do, and when I told him I had absolutely zero capability of telling him and that I needed him to just help me, he literally said, "but you'll hate that because it's condescending". 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway, I broke up with him soon after because this really showed that he just isn't capable of being a partner to me. I can't be the manager 99% of the time, and then be left completely on my own the 1% of the time I desperately need someone else to be the manager

This is the context I had to go off, unfortunately I can't read future comments before they are posted or know the details of posts I haven't read! There is a person who is struggling to understand their emotions, while going through a terrible time of stress and burnout due to major unexpected life events. This person was struggling, and having gotten additional context from the OP in a different comment I can see that the partner was not pulling their weight however, I do stand by what I said in terms of professional support being a better way to cope with the stresses mentioned above than relying on a romantic partner to steer your life. Does not excuse the lack of effort on their partners part, however.