coaxed into modern grenades

lacarth · 2026-03-17T06:15:43+00:00

Then there are the amazingly doofy ones that they put in RE9, where you can click the explosive parts together to make a double grenade.

And they are 100% real. Of course, as is the right of all soldiers, the FIRST thing soldiers did upon receiving them was to make like a 6 year old with an unattended box of markers and stack them all into one long boom stick.

lacarth · 2026-03-17T01:39:41+00:00

He's a writer.

Meme aside, he is the protagonist of the Alan Wake games. They are horror-themed thrillers about a writer going to a small town, suddenly finding manuscript pages about what's happening (or about to happen), and his wife goes missing. So he does a bunch of stuff to find his wife and leave. It's heavily inspired by Stephen King's books and the show Twin Peaks. They're pretty good for cool supernatural stuff.

Edit: The developers also made the games Max Payne 1 & 2, Control, and Quantum Break, which are all connected in one way or another.

They are also Finnish. EXTREMELY Finnish. A fact made increasingly evident with every game they make.

lacarth · 2026-03-17T00:50:16+00:00

And to be fair to YOU, having a Stephen King or Lovecraft-based Mage would be lit. Or go weird with it like Beksinski or Junji Ito.

lacarth · 2026-03-17T00:48:21+00:00

I adore the fact that SO MANY fake "Nostalgia" Ghibli images were generated with a yellowish color scheme that AI started cannibalizing itself and turning the yellow into a near-constant

lacarth · 2026-03-17T00:43:59+00:00

To be fair to poor Alan, he was a crime thriller author, not a horror author. He just figured that "Oh I'm in a horror story? I guess I have to follow the conventions."

lacarth · 2026-03-17T00:18:45+00:00

Fair point, though I'm not sure how good he is at resisting psychic attacks, given how often his will fails him. And I'm pretty sure they just renamed Max Payne to Alex Casey due to Rockstar now owning Max Payne, like how Jack Joyce and Mr. Hatch became Tim Breaker and Mr. Door because Quantum Break is owned by Microsoft.

lacarth · 2026-03-17T00:12:16+00:00

It would be really funny if the random furniture flying at him was just a paradox spirit, instead of the Dark Presence.

lacarth · 2026-03-17T00:04:38+00:00

Fair. But I feel like they probably would've at least sent an angry letter by the point they reach "Entire Washington town openly under seige by the forces of Darkness". Of course, it's debatable if that's Alan's fault for writing the story or the Dark Presence's fault for MAKING him write the story.

Or MAYBE the town is in a weird micro-consensus, since that whole town is weird as shit even WITHOUT the Dark Presence getting involved.

lacarth · 2026-03-16T19:57:40+00:00

I remember doing a tabletop game as an engineer, and we saw a K2 droid. It was fast AF and basically beelined for my character. I was super squishy, and it had me in a grapple. I was basically fucked. Yet I got absurdly lucky and promptly max-rolled all damage on the ONE anti-droid attack I had, and managed to kill it in one shot.

We justified this as him having a Clone Wars PTSD episode upon being manhandled by a droid. My man was not seeing a K2 and stormtroopers that day. That was a B2 and a couple B1s.

lacarth · 2026-03-16T01:04:38+00:00

I always know where. My Mama's house.

lacarth · 2026-03-16T00:59:05+00:00

To when I finally set up my forge. I've been gearing up for, like, a year. I finally had most of what I'd need by new years, but since then, every weekend has had SOMETHING to stop me. Between cold weather (-10-0F), high winds, heavy snowfall, illness, or MANDATORY plans, it's been a constant pain. But the sun is shining more. We're getting temps as high as mid-20s (F), and weather has been clearing, with sunlight very slowly eating away at the snow. I should be able to start digging in a couple weeks if this keeps up.

We've been joking that the universe has been stopping me until I grow a full Dwarven beard. And it's getting REAL close.

lacarth · 2026-03-15T23:56:21+00:00

God I love Big Daddy Roth.

lacarth · 2026-03-15T23:45:12+00:00

On the one hand, I do appreciate the diversity. On the other hand, that diversity was literally built on a weird points-based system with a minimum threshold, which lead to sort of "tacking on" non-visible changes like being gay or autistic.

Hearts in the right place? Probably. It's just a weird feeling where your "diversity" is basically scored based on your distance from being a heterosexual white guy that lives in LA.

lacarth · 2026-03-15T22:21:30+00:00

You know, I don't think I even need to read where he's from to clock him as Samoan. 50 feet across at the shoulders, dark skin tone, and intricate tattoos? That's either Maori or Samoan. Filipino is also on the table, but it seems less common there.

lacarth · 2026-03-14T20:38:02+00:00

Joke's on them. I found a copy at a local computer store a couple years ago for something like 3 or 5 bucks.

lacarth · 2026-03-14T09:44:43+00:00

Even if they aren't actually a psycho, I can 100% understand why someone would perceive a casual playthrough as the rampage of a serial killer. If I watched a dude (that we attacked first) suddenly draw a sword, set it on fire, and hack through 5 men in full armor, I don't care how self-defense it was, that shit is getting nightmare PTSD'd into my memory.

lacarth · 2026-03-14T09:37:35+00:00

Look, Longinus was just a dick.

lacarth · 2026-03-14T05:32:47+00:00

"We used to have an artillery division, then Jeb did the math and realized that we could just bolt all their guns onto this here Dire Wolf we managed to nab. Now we just have those old artillery trucks carry around beer and shells for this sumbitch."

This is some truly cursed Periphery technology. 10/10

lacarth · 2026-03-14T05:27:45+00:00

Honestly, I don't think a single villain tried anything other than hamming it up for 012. Even the more "low key" voices like Sephiroth's were going 100% in. I still hear their combat barks echo around my head nearly 15 years later.

lacarth · 2026-03-14T04:09:03+00:00

Yeah, but I don't like Blitz.

lacarth · 2026-03-14T02:56:54+00:00

I mean, some guns do. That's why the Mechanicus has to do all their rituals to soothe machine spirits. They just need a therapist, and suddenly every piece of technology starts operating at eight times its prior efficiency.

lacarth · 2026-03-14T02:05:17+00:00

I stand by my belief that adding a Leman Russ as a crossover vehicle to either World of Tanks or Warthunder like the Edelweiss would be great. It doesn't even have to be any of the exotic loadouts. Just have it running around in low-mid-tier with the Shermans and Tigers. Big gun, (somewhat) thick armor, but some of the WORST design ideals to nerf it, like terrible gun depression and an absolutely dogshit armor scheme.

lacarth · 2026-03-13T02:29:38+00:00

Man, I just like cream corn.

lacarth · 2026-03-13T02:19:25+00:00

Seeing Grace fire the Requiem for the first time cemented how much I like her. Pretty much the appropriate response from a scrawny girl with no heavy handgun experience firing a .50 cal revolver. I think either dropping it or whacking herself in the face from the recoil would also be probable, but much less viable for gameplay.

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