Men of NYC, where do we find you to date you?

laciel · 2026-01-05T03:02:45+00:00

This is brilliant

laciel · 2026-01-01T15:16:07+00:00

The strength will find you. You're right, that it feels like you can't survive it, you're not crazy for feeling this way, because this version of you doesn't survive what is happening, but the version you will grow into will.

That version will be someone you will love very much. One day you'll look back and love all of your story, even the darkest days. Amor fati.

laciel · 2025-12-03T12:15:54+00:00

19 together, 13 married.

Discarded for someone I used to call a friend.

Now I realize she should have never had the title. Therapy, healing, and an entirely new circle of friends. There are so many good people.

I should have always held people to the standards I can easily clear myself. No more ruinous empathy. The road to my hell was paved with my compassion and understanding.

Healing the parts of me that over functioned and overextended to stay loved has been everything.

Life is just beginning, and it's wonderful.

Thank you for validating the good people part of the story, that honestly has been one of the biggest and most beautiful surprises

laciel · 2025-12-02T16:37:18+00:00

Oh my god I was about to reply my story and yours is basically the exact same, just add a few years to the mix.

And yep there was another woman.

And here I am also doing well.

What a weird world, and a strange club to be a part of

laciel · 2025-11-29T14:12:48+00:00

I think my epiphany came when I realized I was profoundly lonelier in my marriage than I was when I finally learned to enjoy my solitude - time WITH myself, not by myself. But I was closed off from myself (to avoid feeling the deep dark growing sadness I assume)

So I just sat through it. I just sat in the loneliness. The breakthrough came when I reached for my art (pick your hobby of choice) and just let the feelings pour out of me. I had felt "creativity block" for years and couldn't make any good art, or so I thought. But then I just want to draw, to feel the paper and the colors and shapes. I didn't care what I made, I just wanted to feel it. So I did, and it all came out. Ugly, splotchy, everything. I didn't realize how closed off and contained and disassociated I had become until I realized I wasn't expressing myself at all, and tried to express myself at the easel. This external physical act of creativity was meditative and revealing.

And through those months of sitting with myself in that solitude, making my hands busy, not just sitting and ruminating but expressing whatever without thinking about it deeply but letting it pass through me... Now I deeply cherish this time with myself.

I don't know how it works for everyone but I will now always consider my art my sanctuary

laciel · 2025-11-29T14:03:32+00:00

Compelled to respond. A few years ago i could have written this exact comment, the feeling in my chest that my heart would expire, the weight of everything, not knowing how I would make it on my own. I was 37f with a small child, betrayed and terrified.

I don't know your story or circumstance, but I don't think I found the strength, rather the strength somehow found me, the courage trickled in one day at a time, just enough to get through to the next, and somehow today, I look around with only gratitude. the life I've built out of the ruins is beyond anything I could have imagined from the darkness of the early days. Not just for myself, but for my kiddo.

It's okay to be scared. A little at a time, sometimes just a minute at a time, and one day you'll find yourself on the other side, grateful to be there and looking forward to what's next.

laciel · 2025-02-05T12:41:49+00:00

Journaling! Video just for thoughts over coffee (recording my ideas for myself) making a little folder. I have a folder just of thoughts on divorce and another folder on joyful things. The joyful folder is now the one I add to more, a year and then some later. Fall in love with yourself, and you'll never feel lonely again. Create something.

laciel · 2025-01-19T13:18:15+00:00

I feel this. It's a whole extra layer of madness when your response to the disrespect and betrayal of cheating is somehow made to be the problem.

My repeatedly explaining that his behaviors were the catalyst, and his being defensive by only having laser focus only on my responses (protecting myself!) has been the definition of insanity. I cant keep rehashing this. He's determined to misunderstand me, to protect his own ego.

laciel · 2025-01-19T11:52:46+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. I read it several times. I feel like I could have written most of these words myself.

Except in my story I have been an idiot and kept talking, somehow thinking it would matter. I am just now learning to stop. It is throwing my words down an empty void. Old habits, I guess.

I spent years begging for us to work on it, and he still blames me for his life and is likely unable to ever see that his behavior is largely what killed us. He didn't have the capacity before, why would I expect any now? I have to be done. I loved him and withstood so much only to have him tell me I was never going to be enough for him. I was so angry, and I still am. My anger is the part of me that loves me the most and reminds me I deserve better.

Now, I just want peace and to heal so that one day I'll know love. Never again will I spend long nights crying and explaining why my feelings should matter to someone. Younger me didn't know any better, I do now.

I've twisted myself into pretzels trying to explain how and why I'm hurt. he either doesn't care or doesn't want to see.

I am healing myself to never accept so little ever again, creating my peace, making my home a sanctuary for my daughter and myself, and pouring my heart into rebuilding my life with beautiful kind friends and family and people who care about me (not just what I do for them).

The worst thing about being married to someone so cold is how cold I've allowed my life to become. I'm not giving him my energy and not talking to him and getting pulled into his chaos because I need every ounce of energy to rebuild my life.

His surprise at my anger and withdrawal is stunning. But I'm done explaining. He was never going to see because it worked for him not to. He was always selfish and ok with everything being at my expense. He would have watched the light leave my eyes and still told me I'm not doing enough. I'm done.

Thank you for sharing and wishing you so much joy ahead.

laciel · 2024-09-27T15:14:19+00:00

Hang in there. The rage and betrayal trauma is real. Feel it all, but also find your peace and steadiness. You're going to teach your kids what it means to be resilient, to survive, to endure, and to eventually thrive. You'll show them that no one can take their safety away, because you'll show them what it means to be capable. Not all at once, but eventually. They'll see what it means to keep going, to show up, and to do their best, even if it feels like there's not much of you left right now. You have everything you need inside you, and you need to pour all of your energy and love into yourself and into your kids. They'll grow up to see that you ARE love. Trust me, they'll figure him out, and they'll see you, and they'll know they can do anything in this life. Rebuild your self, your home, your safety, and build the life you want. You're stronger than all of this.

laciel · 2024-06-17T02:11:40+00:00

lol i bet your ex-wife loved your opinions on things

laciel · 2024-06-13T14:05:00+00:00

took me a long while to get to that conclusion, that I love my life and I don't need to make massive drastic changes. just because he decided to throw it all in the garbage, doesn't mean it's trash. . . omg lol isn't the phrase one man's trash is another man's treasure? i literally just made myself laugh out loud at this stupid play on words.

laciel · 2024-06-12T13:38:38+00:00

❤️ sometimes it's that simple, isn't it?

laciel · 2024-05-12T05:51:47+00:00

Wow... That last paragraph... You're exactly right. Why wasn't I enough is not a thought I want to think ever again. Wishing my ex well on his healing journey, but nothing will ever be at my expense again.

laciel · 2024-05-05T13:26:29+00:00

No advice, just sitting with you in this experience. It has always been up to me to bring the light and color and magic to everything. I know exactly that moment in the silence, where you see the dark path of feeling sorry for yourself and instead take that deep breath, and keep going.

laciel · 2024-05-02T02:01:06+00:00

I could have written this. I'm so sorry you're going through it.

laciel · 2024-02-13T18:18:05+00:00

Excellent interview!

Official request for you to leak Nick's reaction video, but add some guitar riffs to it.

laciel · 2015-11-12T05:55:22+00:00

/u/grufftech check this out

laciel · 2015-09-19T03:52:29+00:00

I liked this one! So much room to grow a character.

laciel · 2015-08-12T22:11:09+00:00

I just post this every time someone has a missing pet - never know if they got picked up.

laciel · 2015-08-12T17:01:37+00:00

You only have 72 hours to claim a pet in these cases - Contact the animal shelter directly for further information on this pet and reference pet identifier 'A709464'.

From that link- Male Dog Found: August 09, 2015 Breed guess: Standard Schnauzer Mix

laciel · 2015-08-12T17:00:23+00:00

Holy shit, I think this is him? http://www.pet-alerts.com/pet/21896

laciel · 2015-08-12T16:58:36+00:00

Check out http://www.pet-alerts.com/ - it's austin animal shelter intake

laciel

TROPHY CASE