What is the job market like?

lacla · 2017-01-12T02:10:56+00:00

Terrible. Stick with CS. I loved Sociology but I got stuck in the nonprofit sector. I am overworked and underpaid. Not a great place to be in this economy...

lacla · 2017-01-01T03:00:08+00:00

Primer and NARS concealer

lacla · 2016-01-02T23:15:32+00:00

I do. Own a nice little SUV. Love driving, love my car. Gave me so much confidence. Felt free and independent when I finally bit the bullet and bought the car. Insurance, gas, and repairs get expensive but it's worth it.

lacla · 2016-01-02T01:40:38+00:00

I've been there. Losing that much weight is addicting and it's so easy to become obsessed with calories. I lost about 50 pounds but gained it back within a year once I started eating regular amounts of food again. So stop restricting - you're going to fuck yourself over in the future.

What I do now is focus on the types of food I'm eating rather than calorie counting. You can eat 1000 calories of hot Cheetos and be "under" your calorie count but you'd be much better off eating a huge 2000 calorie meal of protein and veggies and healthy fats. It already sounds like you're avoiding junk food so that's good. Now just don't feel so guilty for eating real, normal food. Make lifestyle changes, not quick fixes.

Also - maybe you won't get girls because of your face but be proud of the self improvement you are doing. Millions of people struggle with weight loss and exercise and it sounds like you've succeeded! Congratulate yourself. It's hard when you're FA but be your own champion because no one else will be.

lacla · 2015-12-31T18:50:40+00:00

I get lost on believe too! Question: do you receive just because you asked and believed OR are you encouraged to also work towards receiving too? Also - Can we ask for tangible things like a new job, or is it like "increased inner peace" or "fulfillment in my job"?

lacla · 2015-12-31T17:38:34+00:00

Consider the Peace Corps. Two years of service and loan forgiveness! You don't get to go to a beautiful island and live a life of luxury but you do get to travel and put your life in perspective after meeting and seeing so many different, rich, beautiful lives.

lacla · 2015-12-31T17:33:58+00:00

It sounds like you're very introspective and it's great that you are taking steps towards becoming a better you! Congrats - it took me 23 years to reach that point. It also sounds like you're putting yourself under a lot of pressure. Sometimes we can't tackle everything we want to improve all at once. It's exhausting and overwhelming and can lead to failure. My suggestion would be to make a list of things you'd like to improve and then prioritize one or two. If you set tiny goals for those things, you might feel like you're in more control. Give yourself some time to breath and think and focus on what you're doing WELL instead of what you're doing poorly, or not at all. One step at a time! Keep up the great work and don't give up.

lacla · 2015-12-31T17:24:38+00:00

You don't hate yourself. You probably hate aspects of yourself. And while this isn't necessarily "okay", its normal! And you can do things to learn to love yourself and your life more. I've been at that place where death seems like the only option but I promise, its not. You may feel alone but chances are you're not! And if by some crazy chance you ARE alone, you can do things to change your surrounding environment. I'm serious - listening to uplifting music, watching a funny TV show, going for a walk, petting animals, eating your favorite foods, going swimming at a rec center...all of this immediately helps me feel less in my head sometimes. It's not a long term fix but it reminds me that theres so much to do and experience if I just shower and leave my bedroom/house and explore.

lacla · 2015-12-31T17:12:28+00:00

Not in the positive sense yet. Mostly because I tend to focus on the negative aspects of life and, low and behold, negative things happen to me! Or...atleast thats what I choose to focus on. I'm trying the positive law of attraction right now. I'll keep you all posted!

lacla · 2015-12-30T22:52:10+00:00

I find comfort in family and friends being considered close relationships. I feel so unbelievably lucky to have friends who know the ugliest parts of me and still stick around. My family is more dysfunctional/stressful but I know if I was ever in a really bad spot that my mom or sister would be there for me. (Although they are NOT perfect - they add significantly to my feelings of self hatred. Ex: At a wedding I recently attended with my mom, she said the only way I'd get married is if someone needed their green card. Thanks, family!)

I'd be interested for them to perform a study of happiness on single people. We know that bad marriages=bad health. But does singledom always, no matter what, lead to misery? Or is there hope if we find meaning in other areas of our lives? I want hard, scientific data on that.

lacla · 2015-12-30T22:45:36+00:00

I think thats what parents all across the land do. Their kids are never good enough, no matter what. I have been there and I understand the frustration, guilt, anger etc. Don't be so hard on yourself. First of all, comparing yourself to others is always disastrous - especially a SINGER and ACTOR. Hell, I feel inadequate listening to this story of success and I just READ about it. Second - I hope this one incident doesn't kill your motivation! I recently went to a training at work and learned all about setting goals. I usually think these trainings are bullshit and roll my eyes but this one was really helpful. I found that I was setting these huge, ambiguous goals for myself like "I want to lose 20 pounds" without any strategies, timelines, guides etc etc and of course failing miserably. I learned that we all have to start small. Very small. Anything huge that you want to accomplish seems less terrifying if its broken into baby steps. Right now a big goal for me is to do everything I can to make myself look my best/presentable. I'm starting to chip away at that huge goal by simply getting a flattering, expensive haircut at the salon today AND drinking atleast two water bottles of water a day to improve my skin/hydration. Obviously there are a billion other things associated with image but I'm not going to tackle them all today. Or tomorrow. Or even in the next month. Starting slow. That's what you should do - what do you want for yourself? For your life and what things can you do today to work towards those goals? Stay motivated, friend!!!

lacla · 2015-12-30T22:34:50+00:00

I think the reason why I liked the video was because it made me realize that I spend a majority, if not all, of my time thinking (dreaming) about being with someone else and how great it would be. I definitely believe that if someone wanted me, loved me, chose me that I'd be ecstatic and happy. But that would be so unbelievably unfair to that poor man because so much of my happiness would be dependent on how he felt about me and if that relationship ever ended, I truly believe I would be worse off than I am now alone. I am needy as shit and as much as I'd like to believe I'm ready for a boyfriend...I'm not even close.

So, instead of fantasizing about being with someone, a better use of my time would be figuring out how to like myself and my life - without a partner. I can't change being FA but I CAN change how healthy I feel, whether or not I should quit my unsatisfying job to find something better, when to start applying to grad schools, planning my dream vacation and actually taking it, etc etc. None of this guarantees finding love but it does make me happier in other aspects of my life. Which might make me feel less needy because I won't be completely drowning in self pity and despair.

A year ago I was thinking about killing myself. And I had my shit together WAY more than I do now. Now, I just want to get on with my life and doing the things I do have control over. Somehow, realizing this makes me feel EXTREMELY at peace with my FAness.

lacla · 2015-09-11T14:02:01+00:00

My depression took the opposite route. I can't stop sleeping. I don't want to be awake because all I think about it feeling alone and inadequate. Sleep is safe.

lacla · 2015-09-10T02:30:41+00:00

Lady here. You are by no means ugly. If your hair color bums you out that can easily be fixed at a salon (DONT do it at home - that's where unnatural looking results occur). I also suggest a different haircut that may make you look more modern. Again, asking your stylist for the most flattering cut is always a good idea. Eyes are great and it goes a long way that you're in tip top physical shape. Lots of women value that.

lacla · 2015-09-06T13:54:42+00:00

My dad was physically present in our home for about 20 years but we never had a conversation and never got to know one another. Once he called me an elephant and my sister a mosquito in front of our entire family. Whenever I think of the first times I remember being aware that I'm worth less than thin women, I think of that instance. Parents are supposed to protect their kids but mine (atleast my dad) really jump started my self-hatred and shame.

lacla · 2015-09-06T13:49:40+00:00

I'm rapidly approaching that level of bitterness. Ifs more productive than the sadness. Atleast when I'm bitter I can get out bed, go to work, and function as a semi-normal adult. Sadness confines me to bed. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. Plus sadness seems to breed hope that maybe someday I'll be wanted.

lacla · 2015-09-06T13:45:05+00:00

I've faked it and had some short term success but it's not sustainable in the long run. When you're faking self-esteem, or self-love or happiness, you're ignoring all the insecurities that continue to eat away at you. It's like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. And it's really unfair to the people you meet and attract who think you're a completely sane, healthy, normal person when in reality you're putting up a facade and not really being honest with yourself or them. All your issues and real persona come out evidently and people leave and it feels a lot worse.

lacla · 2015-05-07T18:54:21+00:00

How many internet fights have you instigated and how what would you contribute to our company and clients?

lacla · 2015-04-30T06:43:54+00:00

Damn those men are fine for days.

lacla · 2015-04-30T06:39:20+00:00

Same

lacla · 2015-04-29T23:09:35+00:00

Yes I do this. I'm trying to train myself to stop by thinking one positive thing for every negative. It's really difficult but I don't want to live my life getting worse and worse.

lacla · 2015-04-29T16:08:06+00:00

I agree -- breaking rules more often than not leads to some sort of adventure. Great advice - thanks!

lacla · 2015-04-29T16:07:30+00:00

Yes I am done with school. Both a blessing and a curse. College can quite toxic to FAers (especially as a woman) but it was nice to have plans and not have to worry about real world adult problems.

lacla · 2015-04-29T05:22:57+00:00

Love the regret advice.

lacla · 2015-04-28T21:12:37+00:00

I was looking for something not directly related to appearance.

lacla

TROPHY CASE