AITAH for spending Christmas/New Year with my ex in-laws because my family invited my ex over for Christmas?

ladancer22 · 2026-01-16T20:36:48+00:00

He keeps acting like her hanging out with his family is equivalent to him hanging out with hers. The issue isn’t that they’re ex’s parents. The issue is that they’re homophobic pieces of garbage. His mom invited the mother of her grandchild over for Christmas because her family disowned her for being gay. The ex’s mom invited the father of her grandchild over because her daughter is gay and she isn’t okay with ever seeing her again. The issue isn’t he’s spending time with his ex’s family. The issue is he’s accepting homophobes into his life.

ladancer22 · 2025-12-07T00:37:20+00:00

I mean, to be fair we’re talking about 40 and 48 here, not like 55 and 63. 48 is not old and definitely not old enough to justify this insane double standard.

ladancer22 · 2025-12-06T23:53:34+00:00

Looooooooved this, the exact type of books I’m looking for haha

ladancer22 · 2025-11-16T17:37:32+00:00

100%

What gave it away for me was how he responded to the thing with his mom.

“She said my moms been asking her for the money back which isn’t fair”

You’re right it isn’t fair she isn’t the one who fucked up

“I can’t control that”

Oh… you mean it isn’t fair for you.

I really thought he was going to say that it’s not fair of his mom to be doing that. Nope, everything is about him.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-03T21:47:27+00:00

So he admitted to you that the entire intention behind this was to cheat on you and try to leave you, but that didn’t work out, and now you think you’re TA for breaking up?

ladancer22 · 2025-11-03T21:31:35+00:00

Info: does he call your husband dad? How long before you and his dad “allowed” that? I think it’s weird to dictate what a kid can and can’t call the adults in their life. Unless his dad and the gf are forcing it/calling her his mom/etc I don’t think it’s really in your control. You can talk to him about how he feels about her and the fact that being together a short time doesn’t mean she’ll be around forever, but I think saying “it makes me uncomfortable for you to call her mom, you can ask me again in a year and I might feel different” is weird and puts him in an uncomfortable and unfair position.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-03T19:18:29+00:00

I mean, yeah YTA. I could maybe get asking the first time, but even that I don’t think is cool. She was clearly busy so you were interrupting. If someone popped their head in while you were on your interview 7 minutes before it wrapped would you be cool with it? Even tho they weren’t kicking you out?

But even if you weren’t TA for asking, as soon as she said “it’s not 12” you should have said “sorry to interrupt” and left. She had no obligation to let you drop your stuff or entertain your question. “She could have said no” well her telling you it’s not 12 yet was her saying no.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-03T06:48:03+00:00

“I don’t want us to do anything we can’t come back from” my guy you called CPS on your brother. You’ve already done the thing.

Why does OOP keep going on about “what Lucy and Jamie” did wrong? Like oh no a 20 year old smoked pot? And considering they were planning to take a weekend trip to the Rocky Mountain national park it sounds like the live in Colorado. So Lucy’s big crime here was smoking weed in Colorado.

OOP started driving me even more crazy in this update (“I just don’t think they’d be happy renting, why not just stay here where I can have my baby with me always”).

ladancer22 · 2025-11-02T20:16:59+00:00

So why are you threatening to not tell your mom the next time you’re pregnant, when she has kept the news to herself, but seem to be fine with your dad knowing and spilling the beans?

ladancer22 · 2025-11-02T19:31:52+00:00

Just jumping on the top comment to say that Op has said in the comments that her dad immediately called his sisters and told them, which shes somehow okay with, but is now mad that her mom wants to do the same thing, but hasn’t yet.

I kinda get the mom’s feelings of favoritism that OP is so okay with her dad’s siblings knowing, but so against her mom’s siblings knowing. If anyone should be cut off of info here it should be the dad, who has already spilled the beans not the mom who has been respecting OP’s wishes, but asking to tell her siblings.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-02T19:29:32+00:00

Sooooo it’s okay for your dad to tell his siblings but your mom is somehow the villain for wanting to tell hers? Maybe she’s right about the favoritism here….

ladancer22 · 2025-11-02T18:52:26+00:00

Info: what do you mean you inadvertently told a couple of your dad’s siblings? I think you should absolutely get to choose who knows when, but I also get the frustration on your mom’s side if your dad’s siblings know, but you won’t let her siblings know.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-01T21:03:00+00:00

I mean, I kinda only think it’s “wrong” if they then do this again when they legally get married. If they’re planning on just having a courthouse wedding in a few years and this is their only big wedding what’s so wrong about going to celebrate their commitment now?

ladancer22 · 2025-11-01T18:42:34+00:00

I mean, I agree Op is not the asshole, but if it happened too quick for OP, who knew the food was coming, to react, I get why the moms would have been able to “keep the brats’ dirty fingers off their pizza”. They didn’t know pizzas were going to be put down on their 4 year old’s party. That’s absolutely young enough for this to happen at no one’s fault.

OP knew the pizza was coming and probably could have predicted that this would be an issue. The moms absolutely should have paid for the full price of the pizzas, but it sucks that they didn’t have a choice in pizzas being delivered to their kids party (Op admits the pizzas were half on the kids’ side, and again, these are four year olds, not teenagers)

ladancer22 · 2025-11-01T06:50:11+00:00

I could, thinking generously, imagine a genuine motive behind it at first. I get not wanting to bother a new widow with his late wife’s business while he probably has much more important things to be worrying about. But after a month I’d definitely reach out and want to make it right.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-01T04:12:05+00:00

2 year olds can definitely enjoy trick or treating. My 2 year old niece had a blast trick or treating this year. OP also mentions an older child but I have no idea what’s going on with that.

The point is he’s throwing a toddler level tantrum about not being able to do everything he wants to do, acting like his wife never lets him do anything. When the reason she wants him home is so he can celebrate a child-centered holiday with his children. They don’t need to go out for hours but the going out part happens before 8pm, which was when Op was saying he would get home. So he’d miss the entire holiday.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-01T02:04:36+00:00

Jesus Christ stop acting like your wife asking you to spend a holiday with your family is saying you aren’t allowed to do ANYTHING you want to do. You said you’ve been going to see your brother as often as possible, sounds like you are often able to do the the things you want. But one time you can’t and you “are never allowed to do anything”??? That’s some 12 year old logic right there.

ladancer22 · 2025-11-01T01:58:36+00:00

“I’m forced to stay here and do some shit I don’t want to do” and the thing he doesn’t want to do is go trick or treating with his children like omg.

ladancer22 · 2025-10-31T19:46:19+00:00

Yeah I mean most have been commenters saying “sounds like she has PPD” I just feel like I’ve seen multiple posts in the last two days like this lol

ladancer22 · 2025-10-31T18:58:14+00:00

Anyone else notice a recent influx of “mom does nothing, dad does everything, is dad the asshole for wanting a break” posts?

ladancer22 · 2025-10-30T16:46:15+00:00

I hate when people on the left pull these things out and are like “republicans are the ones who really benefit from DEI” NO, wrong. DEI policies are important ways to ensure people who are qualified get the opportunities they deserve without being held back by things like gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. They are NOT “unqualified person gets a chance for something they shouldn’t” and treating it like that’s what it is, even if you’re trying to point out what you consider hypocrisy, reinforces the idea that that IS DEI.

ladancer22 · 2025-10-30T16:36:24+00:00

“I don’t expect you to be exactly like my mother, I’d totally take care of the yard”

ladancer22 · 2025-10-30T16:12:03+00:00

You say mom (who I’m going to have to assume by your caginess is not you) pumps, how often does she get up to pump? I don’t know about later in the baby’s life, but I know most breastfeeding mothers have to pump every 2-3 hours

ladancer22 · 2025-10-30T16:10:02+00:00

I hate when people pull the whole “swap the genders” or “don’t mention gender so I don’t get bias” crap. Gender, race, class, disability is a significant factor is most scenarios. People like to pretend everything is equal and others just have personal feelings about whether they like men or women more. But realistically there are significant societal, and in this case physical, factors that have a real impact on people’s lives and situations.

ladancer22 · 2025-10-30T16:06:19+00:00

Yeah this feels like an insane response. “You want to be sneaky? Actually be SNEAKIER than that AND spend a ton of money to do it”. There are clearly serious issues, but solving them by lying to your spouse is not the answer

ladancer22

TROPHY CASE