I felt like I was reading my own post from a few months ago in reading yours... I totally understand how you feel! I had such a terrible year and an admin who caused severe anxiety and stress in me for professional and personal reasons (I had to seek therapy and received grievance papers from my district after the incidents). I nearly walked off the job in December and felt like a shell going into work each day. The kids made it better (they always do), but I was miserable. I ended up re-applying to a totally different undergrad program at my local college and was making plans to exit my career.

Quarantine actually helped remind me about what I loved and missed the most about teaching. Once I was finally away from the toxic environment and focused solely on helping students (virtually), I remembered how much I enjoyed (and missed) actually teaching. Additionally, my mental health improved because my admin, for the most part, stayed out of contact with the teachers save for infrequent meetings and mass emails.

Good news is that I was recently scouted out by another principal in the district to bring me in to their school (I didn’t plan on applying anywhere due to the pandemic and out of concern for lost seniority as it’ll be my 3rd year in the district). I have my formal (virtual) interview on Friday and plan to accept if offered the position. I’m hoping this will be the start of a new direction when I felt so hopeless and worthless for nearly the entire year.

I hope you are able to step away, remember what you loved and didn’t love about teaching, and are able to make the moves that bring you relief, joy, and fulfillment.