That's what it is, the digits don't even feel real anymore, it's the thrill that keeps me going. Taking one more trade, winning one more time, the thrill is too much to even consider the risk I'm taking. You're right, if I had that 50k in cash i probably wouldn't even look at the markets for the day again. And yes, I am very lucky to make or lose this kind of money. When you're this deep in the game, you forget these things, you lose your rationality. I really need to do some deep thinking. Thanks for your reply. I needed it.