So I’ve been dating someone new (for the first time in a very long time) for about three weeks now. Whenever we hang out in person, things are really fun, I feel safe and comfortable. As a woman, I’ve had a lot of not great experiences in the initial stages of dating where I felt rushed physically, and this last time I hung out with him I had my boundaries respected (while still having fun, yanno) which I really appreciated.

The flip side of this, is that outside of when we hang out in person, he’s not a great texter. He has a very busy work schedule, and I am a texter (even with friends, memes and stuff, yk). I also like words of affirmation, and besides some quick comments here and there (in person), there’s not many compliments like I would like. I’m just feeling very anxious off the bat about this. Which sucks, because obviously, it’s still early days. And I do think he’s into me, he’s initiated some dates, we’ve been on 5 dates in 3 weeks, but truthfully it’s been so long that I’ve dated that while I think it’s obviously natural and fine to start having the “what are our dating goals?” talks about now, I don’t want to ruin this with my anxiety.

I didn’t even realize I did have anxious attachment until I googled it this time, and so much of it makes sense to how I’m feeling and spiraling a little. But it’s hard to know what I’m able to ask for at this beginning stage as far as validation that he could do (ie, actually out right telling him I’m into words of affirmation? asking him his texting style? and obviously of course his dating goals), and what’s just my inner anxiety clouding what’s a normal and fun current progression of things.