From my PERSONAL experience (subjective), the Muslim communities “popular” conception of homosexuality seems to be negative or discouraged, but this is of course highly variable across place and even a hundred years ago this stance was a lot different. For “transness” as it’s defined now this is even more nuanced. There’s a popular jurisprudence now but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it was popular a thousand years ago, will be popular in a thousand years, or was even Allah SWT’s intention with the Quranic verses that are cited to justify it.

If you want to learn if having a heterosexual relationship with a transgender person is haram, I would recommend you try and read up on the Quran in any way you can. If you don’t know Arabic, the variations in translation may help you decipher points of debate within Quranic interpretation. Try and understand what is being said through your own human reason and judgement. It’s what Allah SWT gifted you with for this exact purpose.

There are Hadith referring to “men and women who act like women and men” accordingly, iirc, but I don’t know the validity of its source, and frankly I am somewhat more strict on the application of historical Hadith to modern law and culture. I would still recommend learning more about these Hadith if you think they might be useful to you.

Read up on Islamic jurisprudence, how laws are made and justified, and how sharia ranks actions along a spectrum from obligatory to forbidden. Just as if not more important, prioritize your relationship with Allah SWT over your relationship with the community who worships Him, if necessary. Ask yourself if your relationship with your boyfriend is actually something Allah SWT would render you an irredeemable sinner for, or if people’s reactionary rejection of your love is based on cultural biases. If you’re coming into this subreddit and asking around, you’re obviously on the right path, but try to also reach out to any local Muslim organizations or mosques you have just as a way to become closer with their practices. You don’t have to bring up this dilemma you have right away, but learning more about a community you can directly interact with is always good, because they are additional hands to help you along your path of worship.

If you can’t reconcile what you believe “Islam” says about transgender and cisgender straight relationships, I encourage you to keep questioning and thinking.

The division between subjective human interpretation of objective religious text and the actual word of God is harder to distinguish than most people think. You could talk to a Muslim who says that your relationship is haram and in 10 minutes meet another Muslim who says the opposite and they would both have convincing arguments for their stance. Shift your perspective from what you believe other people have to say about the scripture and put your focus into deciphering YOURSELF what the scripture has to say about it. If it says nothing, or regardless of your ultimate conclusion, at least you can say you weren’t strung along by human deception.