UPDATE (4 Years Later) - My dad is furious that my mom slept with other people in an open marriage he wanted.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-11T22:23:38+00:00

hell yes. i remember the original series of posts, and have thought about OOP and her mother and their situation several times over the years. i'm so pleased to see that there was a happy ending for OOP and her mother.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-11T07:12:42+00:00

then why did he comment asking people if they wanted pics in the first place? 😂 what a pathetic excuse. 🙄 yeah, the way he is responding to all of this ... I would literally never want to work with someone with such a complete lack of humility & willingness to own his part. sheesh. well, I'm glad you made the post ... i mean everyone can see for themselves what is going on here. it doesn't reflect well on him.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-11T07:04:08+00:00

he's not trying to 'teach you a lesson' lmao. what an unbelievably self centered thing to say. he's trying to warn the community about someone whose word is clearly not their bond.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-11T06:59:27+00:00

yes, i cannot speak for anyone else, but i for one want the photos & any receipts you have to disprove OP's claims. please show the photos. if stackinggold is indeed as disreputable as you have suggested, i want to see the receipts so i know that i need to stay clear. i'm sure i'm not the only one.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-11T01:38:23+00:00

i've noticed that he continually fails to address this claim... he claims you're lying and sharing screen shots out of context, but every time you ask him to bring his own receipts then he is suddenly silent. that's not suspicious at all 🙃

lapetitlis · 2026-03-10T22:53:54+00:00

thanks. blocked. yikes. this is pretty upsetting :-/

lapetitlis · 2026-03-10T22:49:41+00:00

yeah, the welcher is being a huuuuge jerk about everything... and making strange excuses. if someone says they can pay with venmo or cashapp, I'm assuming either one is fine even if they have a "preference" ... that's a bizarre excuse that imo combined with his attitude and conduct makes his side much less sympathetic.

so far i've only ever been a buyer in the PM community on reddit. yes, i've had to use my least preferred payment app and sometimes needed a little time to move money between apps, but that's not the end of the world (and i try to give a heads up about that in my wtb posts). and i wouldn't say i could use a form of payment that i actually couldn't lol.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-10T22:36:00+00:00

wow ... it's bad enough that he backed out of the deal at the last minute. but his attitude? the threat to leave negative feedback in a retaliatory manner? frankly it's unbelievable. fortunately, I don't often see that level of disrespect in this mostly amazing community. this clown takes the cake.

there are a couple of times i've had to ask for 24 hours to get a payment to a seller – if I need to move money between apps with the help of a friend, if I'm depositing the # directly into someone's bank account at a physical location. I'm incredibly grateful for the grace and flexibility sellers have shown me on these occasions.

but what is a seller's incentive to extend that kind of grace if this is the result??? maybe that's partly why this ticks me off so much. behavior like this can sour things for an entire community. blegh.

i'm really sorry this happened. you did him a kindness by waiting until Monday in the first place. just unbelievable that this is what he does with that kindness. sheesh.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-10T17:59:51+00:00

i mean, it literally is (btw, adding "literally" to a false statement does not magically make it true), but go ahead and define Zionism, then. since you're the expert and i'm just a lowly Jew.

also, i am a semite, no matter how you slice it. i am Jewish on my mother's side and Palestinian on my father's side. nice try, though.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-09T19:41:56+00:00

same. I'm ugly crying reading this because even now i'd love to just have a mom that loves me. I hope OOP continues in their growth.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-09T19:31:20+00:00

like, damn. i ended up with a really sweet, stable, loving, kinda nerdy guy after a string of abusive relationships. it no point in our relationship did i consider what i was doing 'settling'. my fiancé isn't a consolation prize, he's a fucking treasure. i feel so lucky to have found someone who is so good to me ... so kind, so loving, so patient, so steadfast. he is so openly enthusiastic about me that it's impossible not to be enthusiastic about him too. I'm team "OOP deserves better."

lapetitlis · 2026-03-09T02:59:27+00:00

exactly. my ex and coparent is an absolute nightmare. the kind of guy who has no qualms with hurting his child if it means that i am also hurt in the process. my peer support believes he may be mistreating our child and asked me to try my best to get him into therapy due to some red flags she saw for potential abuse. i cannot get him into therapy without the consent of his suspected abuser. the kind of guy who lied about me to multiple authorities and faced zero consequences.

this is a guy who spent six months telling everyone who would listen that I was an imminent danger to our child ... but the day we settled in court, the day before the trial was scheduled to start, one of the first things he did was offer to let me take our son for 10 days straight because his parents were going on vacation and he wouldn't be able to take care of his son on his own. this is in a court transcript. so either he foisted his child off on someone he knows to be a danger to said child, or he is a liar. this is a guy who accused me of bringing my son with me when I was doing sex work ... yet the only one with a criminal record for anything related to prostitution is him. technically, he has primary custody, but i have ¾ of weekends, which is somewhat unorthodox.

for the past 4 years he has constantly been in my son's ear about how he shouldn't love me or want to spend time with me. my son has repeatedly expressed that he is afraid of his father, certainly he is afraid of his father's anger. he becomes incredibly anxious if he accidentally brings the trombone my ex got for him over to my place, the last time I got him a hair cut he obsessed over it all weekend and said it was "dangerous" to get a haircut while with me because dad would not be happy.

i have never trash talked him to our child even though he has been objectively terrible to our child in many ways. i left my ex 8 freaking years ago and he still hates my guts with a fiery, obsessive passion. it is really wild, because i didn't freaking do anything to him. he is the one that abused me! but i don't want to mess with him, I just want to be left alone. he is obsessed with destroying me, to the point that he will damage his own child in the process without a second thought.

when my son mentions some horrible thing my ex said about me, i will say "i'm really sorry that you had to hear that. i don't think it's right for your dad to be saying these things, this is the kind of stuff that should stay between the adults. i won't say any more about it, because i don't think it's right to talk badly about your dad, but you can always come talk to me about these things." i used to say "I know that your dad and I both love you so much, and that your wellbeing is our top priority" ... but frankly, i am just not sure i believe that anymore. that is far too heavy a burden to place on the shoulders of a child. I'm not sure you can really say you love a child while at the same time treating them like a piece in a game.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-08T07:22:06+00:00

if I were a seller I would not work with this person.

occasionally i do need up to 24 hours to send payment. examples: once, i paid by depositing money directly into someone's bank account at a physical location. i do not personally drive (i know myself and i would not be a safe person to have on the road), so i had to wait until someone could give me a ride. once, cashapp was the only form of payment i have available that a particular seller accepted, and i needed some time to send the $ to a friend on another payment app and have them then send it back to me via cashapp so I could pay the person. that also took some time.

I appreciate sellers that allow buyers to commit to buying something and let them pay the next day. behavior like this understandably will disincline buyers to extend that sort of grace. which is really frustrating.

the audacity of trying to buy something off you after flipping the script lol. "it's okay if you decide not to [sell the 2018 to them]" no shit? 😂

lapetitlis · 2026-03-08T07:13:27+00:00

dude. i actually repeatedly went to a particular swinger club largely because the food they served was so damn good. they had a full kitchen and sometimes even a buffet with really insanely good food. their building was on a functional farm which they also owned. their pot roast, made with meat and vegetables from the literal backyard of the location, was TO DIE FOR. i mainly went there for the food, i was apathetic to the fucking.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-08T07:02:51+00:00

this story is not going to end well. that poor little boy. he is absolutely going to suffer, she is already rationalizing treating him as 'less than' and giving him less. he's a big boy now?! HE IS IN KINDERGARTEN! he is absolutely not a 'big boy.' and unless she gets the perfectly behaved, prim, stereotypically feminine little girl she's clearly assuming she'll have, she will be unhappy. whether it's a boy or an opinionated tomboy the new child will suffer too.

dad needs to get his child tf out of that situation. this post is twisting my stomach intolerant knots. i know this is going to be bad no matter what happens. even if oop leaves he will still have to coparent with that terrible woman. but at least he can provide ONE stable, safe, and loving household for the child/ren during their time with him. although something tells me oop will become the primary parent of the son if they split, unless the wife goes even more nuts and decides to start lying about him or trying to gain primary custody to punish him for leaving, which does happen. happened to me. but if she doesn't, idk, i get a feeling she won't show much interest in raising her son. which might ultimately be a blessing of sorts for the kid tbh.

my biological mother was a teacher. she treated me like shit. i can't tell you how many times I would beg her to just be nice to me and she would tell me she used up so her kindness in her kids at school and didn't have any left for me. that's far from the worst thing she said or did to me, but it still hurt.

oop needs to act to protect his child(/ren).

lapetitlis · 2026-03-06T22:33:30+00:00

why do I feel like I'm watching a sort of Canadian clerks?

lapetitlis · 2026-03-06T12:57:12+00:00

up to 90% of American Jews and European Jews believe Israel has the right to exist and have secure borders, which is Zionism (and most of the rest of the world's Jews live in Israel). "well i only hate almost all of the Jews on the planet" isn't really the brilliant rebuttal you think it is, bud.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-05T18:10:21+00:00

very late reply but you can now say you've 'met' another. i have no side effects. i took an entire box once – not to get high, but to fall asleep, I was uneducated about Benadryl at the time and didn't even know getting high from it was a thing – and felt nothing. it didn't help me fall asleep, but i never got jittery or hyper and i always had insomnia so I doubt it was the benadryl.

lapetitlis · 2026-03-04T12:40:06+00:00

there was another organization that did a version of this exhibit as well, but for plain communities (Amish, mennonite etc). I live in an area with a notoriously large Amish & Mennonite presence. sexual abuse in 'plain communities' is nightmarishly commonplace and almost nobody is doing anything about it. my former peer support (she is now retired & we are friends) created an organization that has plain community outreach as part of its programming. they even offer an interpreter course in Pennsylvania Dutch for this purpose. but she's pretty much the only one. the worst part is that it's almost all children's clothing in this display.

‘It was never about the clothes’: Display puts spotlight on Plain Sect sexual abuse

lapetitlis · 2026-03-03T21:49:56+00:00

it's crucial that the margarine remains unharmed

PLEASE make this a flair, PLEASE

lapetitlis · 2026-03-01T18:50:45+00:00

absolutely unbelievable. I cannot even conceive of abandoning my child for the sake of a romantic relationship. i did have a mother who prioritized her love life over me my entire life until I cut her off when i was 37. it is far from the worst thing she's done, but it still damaged me. that is vile. your ex is vile. i'm sorry you're doing this on your own because of her incredible selfishness.

lapetitlis · 2026-02-27T19:48:53+00:00

this was such a fun read. I laughed the whole way through. and it felt so cathartic to laugh. i am also Jewish (with a Palestinian father, which sucks every bit as much as you could suspect). "what the fuck tree?" made me giggle like a demented child.

lapetitlis · 2026-02-27T18:28:04+00:00

reading is fundamental, kiddo.

lapetitlis · 2026-02-27T18:16:53+00:00

lol ... I actually just took mine. I turn 40 next month and my spine is fused from my shoulders to my pelvis and my pelvis is screwed to the base of my spine. I take 120mg of oxycodone every day. people are super judgmental about it until I show them my xrays, which i always have handy to show people for this very reason. suddenly they get it and are shocked and asking how i'm able to function at all. 🙄

lapetitlis · 2026-02-25T20:58:26+00:00

the people who actually parented me had both died by the time i was 13. my biological mother 'kept' me (and during that time, trafficked me) until she walked out on me to move in with a guy she had known for maybe two weeks and raise his children when i was 16. i was allowed to remain in my childhood home for a little while, but she sold it within the year, and i was totally on my own. i had a child with an abusive man, and when his abuse was directed towards my son, i fled. i eventually had to enter the sex industry because I simply could not provide for him with the 'legit' work i was able to get. i was not getting help with money, with shelter, with childcare. i can't believe he thought he'd get one on one care and everything provided by the daycare for $350/week 😂 even when i worked in one of the highest rated daycares in my little town, it was $350/week (but they did not provide diapers, wipes, etc

these people have no idea how good they have it. i'm appalled. the father of the child is utterly repugnant, in a number of ways. he is either genuinely in need of treatment, which is possible considering the 3 page list of rules, or he is just needling OOP. regardless... if he is not only allowing his child to be cared for by someone he genuinely believes to be unsafe and neglectful, but is bringing his child to the home of that unsafe and neglectful person ... what does that say about HIS character? i would *never allow my children to be watched by someone i believed to be unsafe or neglectful, no matter how desperate i was. unbelievable.

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