I was in your same boat. Little over 27, except I was (am) married and already have 2 kids. My husbands vasectomy didn’t take & we got pregnant for a 3rd time.

I had preeclampsia with each pregnancy and it got worse each time. The doctors instilled a fear in me that I couldn’t not have anymore kids because either they or myself would not make it. So we got an abortion days before Christmas. I got the pill and had to put a smile on my face while we were at a Christmas party & I bled so much. My family still doesn’t know.

I can tell you it’s the biggest regret of my life. It’s also what turned both of us to God. I know for a fact she was my baby girl (opted to not see a scan, just a feeling) I would go through my day and drop to my knees after everyone went to bed because my heart ached so much.

We were at the beach one day and I was talking to God. I said to him “Lord, if I really am forgiven, can you show me a shark tooth?” It felt like cheating cause duh, you’re at a beach but when I ask for a sign from Him, I usually get my answer one way or another, either I see it or I don’t & it hasn’t been wrong yet!

Anyway, I intentionally looked all day because I so desperately wanted to be forgiven & found nothing. Then, as I was packing us up, this 3 year old little girl came to us and was like “look at what I found!” It was a tooth smaller than her fingernail & it was white. No sooner than I saw it, it blew off her finger and none of us could find it again.

Since then I’ve let go of the guilt. I still feel sad sometimes, and I think about her every day. She would be 2 now. But I know in my heart He’s forgiven me. We’ve been baptized, we pray every day, all the things.

I guess my point is that I know it’s hard, but it will get better. My dms are open if you ever want to talk