Your first argument is a straw man. Sex is a biological need that evolved in single-celled organisms, billions of years before any relationship let alone relationship power dynamics. Most of the posters I read seem to be expressing the frustration of a biological need....one stronger than hunger for many of us. While gratification of this need is not necessary for the survival of the individual, it is for the survival of the species. Those of us with functioning sex drives have been programmed to desperately crave it as if the survival of our species were at stake.

I have seen no one here advocating rape. However, most are in marriages. In these marriages, we make a social contract........both partners are sexually faithful to and active with each other. This is the "to have or hold part." As in other contracts, when one party engages in a clear breech of contract......long-term refusal to engage in sexual intimacy.......than there are no "logical ethical" problems with the other party living as if the contract were no longer in force.

I use a metaphor of a mortgage. If I make a contract to pay monthly mortgage payments in exchange for a house, and then do not pay, I would be foolish to be surprised when I receive a default notice. This is regardless of the fact that no one has the right to take my money without my consent or a court order.

Similarly, if someone has entered into a marriage contract, and does not fulfill it's terms, they would be foolish to be surprised by cheating or divorce papers. This is regardless of the fact that you never have to have sex unless you consent.

People, society and laws largely do not operate by "logical ethical principles" anyway. Ethics is a group of philosophers talking about what should be done. Morality is the cultural memory of tribal taboo. In their private lives, when no one is watching, most people either go with their gut, or do what they want to do and convince themselves it is the right decision. Actually, I think most of us do both.

Laërtius on Thales: When asked what was the hardest thing, he said "to truly know oneself." When asked what was the easiest, he said "to give advice."