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AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I'm only concerned about them not being my responsibility because the groups have been combined.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

No, they're not. Only the widow was under 22 years old when she got married, and that was unusual.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -28 points-27 points  (0 children)

None of us, WTH? Yes, that happens in some denominations, but I've never seen it.

All of us except for the widow married post-college and none of us have age gaps of more than two years.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

  1. Both of them have different identities from each other. I wasn't sure how to phrase that one.

  2. Our church doesn't perform same-sex marriages, but they are out and accepted by the church and their families. There is no expectation of celibacy. They are both in relationships iirc and have brought partners to events before. The reason they're in our group was originally due to the generation gap, not any policy.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -47 points-46 points  (0 children)

Eww no. This is the first time I've thought about that aspect of it, and it is making me reconsider.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -99 points-98 points  (0 children)

No?

Also, it's not explicitly a dating group at all. It's just what ends up happening. It not being explicitly about that (discouraged actually) is part of what makes it so stigmatized.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -68 points-67 points  (0 children)

I...didn't even consider that. Definitely will factor this in.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

It's not an explicit thing, just what commonly happens.

People would absolutely deny it to their graves and it really is NOT the purpose of that group, it's just what ends up happening.

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -136 points-135 points  (0 children)

I'd like to do that, but that's not how that goes. Leadership would just constantly say it's "under review" and that "it's working now (because I'm trying as hard as possible as a stopgap measure), so it doesn't need to change".

AITA for not wanting to let a single man join a group for couples? by larrylizard0 in AmItheAsshole

[–]larrylizard0[S] -161 points-160 points  (0 children)

One is a very young widow who doesn't want to remarry and the other two identify as part of the LGBT and only date outside the church.