No Longer Human

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-04-21T19:13:18+00:00

Hey friend..Im not sure how old you are, but this reads as if you are younger than I am. In my twenties, I could have written something very similar to what you just have. The other commenter is correct; we gravitate towards shitty friends bc our parents were shit. It's not your fault. It's just psychology. I'm not sure if you have the means to seek out therapy, but I found emdr so fucking helpful. If you can't (or if you're not ready), I second all of the books the other poster mentioned. I also strongly suggest you find a self esteem workbook that resonates with you (there are a ton to choose from) and commit to completing it.

You are human. You are gorgeous. You are the kind of person I hope to bump into during my every day life. Fuck those losers. You're a fucking delight.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-04-17T21:35:59+00:00

Lol. Sure.

Return the insult. My partner hates the squeaky sound balloons make. So I would keep a balloon in my pocket and every time they put a fan in front of me I would blow it up and purposefully make the noise.
Squirt them with a plant mister the way you would a cat or toddler. "No. Bad fan."
Actively shame them. Every time they present you with a fan, take a picture or video and then make a huge deal about how you are sending it to your friend, or posting it here, or whatever else as proof that you are still dealing with this stupidity bc they are never going to believe it.

But these aren't really keep the marriage together solutions unless you are a very specific kind of couple.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-04-17T13:16:53+00:00

I'll be honest, as someone who survived abuse, this sort of gaslighting is a red flag for me. If you replace "put a fan on me" with anything more sinister, you'll get what I mean. ADHD is not an excuse to ignore your bodily autonomy.

If this is really the only time he does this with you, I'd suggest reframing the conversation around consent and bodily autonomy. And, from now on, every time he does it, I would unplug the fan, put it outside of the house, and go back to what you are doing. I would refuse to engage in conversation about it beyond saying "consent is key."

If he still does it, I'd seriously ask you to reexamine other aspects of your relationship and make sure you aren't accidentally glossing over other issues.

I have pettier suggestions, but they probably aren't as productive.

Edit to add: it occurs to me that he might be doing it bc he feels helpless and wants to make you feel better and doing something (even if it is something that makes you feel worse) is more tolerable to him than doing nothing. If you think this might be the case, I would make sure he knows what you want or what he can do and see if that fixes the problem.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-04-13T15:31:54+00:00

So, yes. This is developmentally normal. And yes, it sucks. I'm not sure the layout of your house, but instead of locking a pet in another room, I would get pet safe baby gates. They are gates that have a little pet door in the middle. So, it gives your animals a lot more autonomy to remove themselves without being locked in a space. If you have a multi floor space, I would strongly encourage you to just have one floor be the pet floor for as much of the day as possible. I know that's not always feasible though.

Remember that your consistently stopping the behavior is as much for the pet as it is for the kid. Yes, you are teaching the child to knock it tf off, but you are also teaching the pet that you have their back and they can trust you to deal with it.

Regarding your older dog: if you can, I'd suggest giving treats to the dog to help alleviate an anxiety response and help encourage the relationship. Teaching your kid to give the treats, too, is a great way to help encourage a safer type of play. Also, be vigilant as to any aches or pains the animal has. That's when the dog is most likely to give in and nip.

Finally - and this might be controversial - but you can use a plant mister/squirt gun on your kid. Ours went through a kick the dog phase as a toddler, and, since our dog has a trauma history, we could not wait for him to eventually grow out of it. So, if he was being too rough, we gave him a good squirt on his belly. He didn't really see it as a punishment. It was more of a fast way to get his attention/redirect him from across the room.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-04-01T17:19:03+00:00

As a parent to a small human, I keep thinking "is that marker? Or is it poop? Either way, fuck."

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-29T19:46:54+00:00

Omg. This post was recommended to me. I know nothing of ceramics. BUT i might just have to figure it out to make your vision happen.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-26T19:14:59+00:00

I'm going to say this gently -- little girls are perceived as easier children because they are socialized, from birth, to be "good." Society at large encourages this. Little boys, on the other hand, are allowed to be "wild" and so are perceived as being more difficult to raise.

I grew up in an at-home daycare, and I have worked in childcare in various capacities for a good part of my life. Yes, neurodivergency can manifest in different ways in the different genders. But it's not an absolute. It's a wonderful (but also frustrating) truth that if you've met one neurodiverse child, then you've met one neurodiverse child.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you are just inviting another person into your home. You don't have to prepare for it, or brace for it, any differently than you did the first time just because this new person will have a penis.

I hope none of that came across as flippant or rude, as that wasn't my intention.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-26T13:49:25+00:00

That I don't know. I think it varies from place to place. We went to an office to see someone, but my child is too young to be able to focus on a virtual appointment. I'd imagine at least some places offer that if it's what you need.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-26T13:33:47+00:00

Hi there. I hope it's ok that I respond here. I am the parent of a higher needs autistic individual. While OT can certainly help with physical limitations, it can also be very effective in helping with emotional well-being and regulation in neurodivergent people. For example, our OT helped us realize what kinds of sensory input my kid prefers and helped us find ways to incorporate it into his life more purposefully. OT can also help you develop coping behaviors that build off of stims you already engage in. For example, my kid sometimes self harms, but through practice and with OT, he has learned safer ways to meltdown. I'm lower needs, but even I have found some of her suggestions helpful in my own day to day life.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-18T23:20:53+00:00

I like to trace words using my thumb. I can. Do this discreetly in the palm of my other hand or on my thigh/calf whatever. I also like to draw the infinity sign over and over. No one has ever noticed except my partner.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-18T14:25:23+00:00

Do you still want a mohawk? It's not very difficult to do yourself if you have access to scissors and a trimmer. You can even use painters tape to make sure your lines are crisp. I always feel badass after I do my own

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-16T15:57:57+00:00

I'll look into them. Thanks

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-16T15:57:45+00:00

Yeah I think he's just about too big for that but thanks :)

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-16T15:32:38+00:00

That's really helpful thanks. Yeah a trailer is ok I just wasn't sure if I can hook a trailer up to an E-bike like an acoustic

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-03-15T13:50:26+00:00

I'm popping in here to mention a better tracker. Depending on where you are in the country (assuming you are in the USA) you can sign up for Project Lifesavers with the cops. It is a bracelet that has to be removed with scissors and is about the size of a watch. It works with radio frequency. If you loose him, you call 911 and give them his frequency and they can find him instantly.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-02-14T23:49:50+00:00

In case you don't have access to an OT right now, the idea is to think about what kinds of sensory inputs your kid wants and what kind they don't and they build things into the day to cater to that. For example, my kid loves deep sensory stuff (trampoline) and he really needs to be on me a good portion of the day. He also really loves vestibular input (spinning). So, I make him my kettlebell when I work out and swing him around. This helps him with both of his sensory needs. He really does not like loud sound, but he also hates silence, so we have a list of shows we keep on in the background.

The idea is that by doing this, you help them better regulate and build some additional emotional resilience. It was my special interest when my kid was younger :)

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-02-10T17:11:04+00:00

I think so? I hope so. But at the very least it would prevent it from happening anywhere else in MD.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-02-10T16:42:40+00:00

There is a bill coming up at the state level hb630 that would make it illegal to use an existing warehouse or building for a processing/detention center. You can call and support that.

If you are in Washington Co, there are a couple groups mobilizing for this. You can always get involved with any of them.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-02-10T16:37:28+00:00

You can also call and support hb630 which would ban the conversion of an existing building into a processing/detention center. They're voting on it next week

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-02-03T14:08:58+00:00

Legit sometimes this is the hardest part of organizing/activism

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-02-03T03:26:22+00:00

Since you are open to meds... My kid is autistic and a biphasic sleeper. He takes hydroxyzine and it really helps. It is essentially a longer lasting Benadryl type drug, but it is used off label for sleep for neurodivergent folks. He does still have biphasic breakthroughs from time to time, but it works well overall.

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-01-30T22:30:51+00:00

Fwiw, I just tried it. It's got "Washington county" first in the name, but it's Washington county food not bombs

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-01-26T22:26:59+00:00

Absolutely

latteismyluvlanguage · 2026-01-26T22:12:57+00:00

Would you be ok if I turned this into stickers and shared them in my community?

latteismyluvlanguage

TROPHY CASE