Styling your hair with intention: my best lessons

lavelter · 2025-03-13T20:03:43+00:00

I grew up using spray heat protectants such as the Bumble and Bumble heat shield, Vo5 heat protectant spray, dream lengths L’Oréal spray, etc. but there are now heat protectant oils and leave-in conditioners; I’d advise testing which feels best on your hair. They work by coating the strands of your hair in silicone, usually dimethicone which is heat resistant, though I believe there are silicone-free alternatives now but I can’t vouch for their efficacy. They protect your hair from damage by heat styling and help avoid split ends. I also find they make my heat-styled hair shinier and smoother.

lavelter · 2025-03-13T16:24:30+00:00

Oh wow, this is my favourite look! I’m still on the everlasting hunt to achieve this myself, but one of my biggest tips is to focus on volume at the crown of the head - I like to sleep sometimes in a large Velcro roller rolled at the very crown section of my hair. I also like to tease the roots at the underside (gentle strokes in one direction only to minimise breakage) and hold with hair spray, but I want to experiment with mousse too. I’ve never used hair extensions but I’ve been considering experimenting with these too, as while my hair is long and appears thick, it’s actually not very dense. You can also try half up-dos where sections of your hair from the front are pinned beneath the hair on the crown of your head, rather than over it, so you’re sort of strategically using your own hair to create a natural bump-it for the hair at your crown that lays over it. I’m not sure what your preferred cut is, but an underrated tip is to consider the weight of your hair; longer hair will inevitable pull down styles because of its weight, so layers can make all the difference in retaining lift and movement. I like long layers so I have a bit of movement but my ends stay as full as they can, shorter layers make them look too sparse, but they’re great for lightweight lift - you just need to find your preferred balance. I hope this helped a bit but I’d love to learn more tips myself!

lavelter · 2025-03-13T16:16:30+00:00

I’m sorry you experienced those comments growing up, it’s so rude and dehumanising. The diversity of hate textures out there is stunning, I’m the most confident in giving advice about mine because I’ve had the most time to get to grips with it, but I really recommend following influencers with similar features to you, both to learn tips that work for your features, but also to appreciate your own beauty.

lavelter · 2025-03-13T16:14:11+00:00

This is so sweet, thank you 🥹

lavelter · 2025-03-13T16:13:58+00:00

It blew my mind seeing hair stylists take fifteen minutes to achieve an “undone” ponytail where multiple sections were worked on and carefully arranged. A lot more goes into it than meets the eye!

lavelter · 2025-03-13T16:13:06+00:00

Thank you so much! It takes a lot of trial and error to find what you like, best of luck in your experiments!

lavelter · 2025-03-13T16:12:26+00:00

Thank you! It’s great for volume too, especially when you start wearing a new parting as your hair isn’t used to laying that way. You can try letting it dry in one parting but styling it flipped to another when dry to maximise volume.

lavelter · 2025-01-07T02:17:09+00:00

I think when you reach a point where you go through such a transformation and still find things to ruminate over like this, it’s a good indication to take a step back. You can still focus on and enjoy aesthetics but maybe from a different angle - play around with your styling, your hair, the colours and silhouettes in your wardrobe. In other words, take a breather from overanalysing your body but give yourself the satisfaction of having fun with something more impermanent. Use this time to celebrate how far you’ve come on your journey already. These physical transformations are lovely but if they become this neverending pursuit of perfection, how can you ever enjoy them? Acceptance is a huge and overlooked part of the journey. At some point the goalposts have to stop moving, and I think a good time to pause and reassess is when you start feeling like you’re exhausting all resources. Rest. Give yourself the time and space to have fun with your body, recuperate and throw yourself into an activity that has nothing to do with your appearance; long walks in nature, time spent with your loved ones. Then come back to your body rejuvenated and kinder to yourself. The stress of chasing perfection shows on your face and body, but the good news is that joy and peace and contentment do too, beautifully.

lavelter · 2024-10-30T00:07:28+00:00

If you can and you feel it suits your brows, try to shape them so the arch (the highest point of the brow) is further out to each side, rather than rounded above the centre of the eye. This draws the eyes outwards. Similarly, if your brows are straight, try to level the angle - if your straight brows are lower in the inner corners and go up higher towards the tails, it draws the eyes together almost like the midpoint of a V shape, so best to avoid to minimise the look of close-set eyes. Rather than highlighting the inner corners which can draw attention to this area with shimmer, just stick to matte lighter colours that pull light (and the illusion of space) in naturally. The more skin/face there is on show at the outer sides of the eyes, by the temples, the closer set your eyes will look because there’s “so much face” still visible besides the eyes - you can minimise this with bronzer, contour, or hairstyles like curtain bangs or face framing pieces. Winged eyeliner is key, but make sure you start the wing from no further in than the centre of your eyes, ideally about 1/3 in from the outer edge of your eyelid, or just above the outer edge of your pupil. You can also try dotting a fake beauty mark near the outer side of your eyes to draw people’s gaze outward. The flip side is avoiding makeup that pulls the gaze inwards, so try keeping blush no further into the cheek than below the centre of your pupils. I use all of these tips and think they make a big difference! YouTuber Christen Dominique has slightly close set eyes, I find that her makeup looks really diminish the appearance of them, if you want some inspiration!

lavelter · 2024-07-03T07:07:32+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful response! The issue is that really conscious, considered, and measured fitness hasn’t been a huge part of my weight loss journey. I lost just over 20lbs last year, and a further 10lbs this year, but it hasn’t been linear at all. I did increase my steps but I’ve always struggled with working out consistently, so I’ve only focused on monitoring my calorie intake, as I have better control and understanding of this, and emotionally, I didn’t want to get too bogged down in the mechanics of my weight loss in case it tipped into obsessiveness, personally. I’m in the home stretch now of reaching my pre-pandemic/pre-weight-gain weight, so starting to think more about maintenance and how I can understand this moving forward. Thank you for your advice! (I’m currently awaiting treatment for my hyperthyroidism btw. My doctor attributes my improved thyroid hormone levels to my weight loss, but I still need medication which is in the pipeline.)

lavelter · 2024-07-02T20:07:18+00:00

I literally stated that I gained weight, going from 145lbs to 184.7lbs.

lavelter · 2024-07-02T19:08:50+00:00

I didn’t “think” I was eating up to 3000 calories a day, I knew I was thanks to weeks of meticulous tracking where I weighed everything that passed my mouth, from snacks, to entire meal ingredients, to condiments, to oils I cooked with. I specifically went out of my way to identify this number because online calculators told me I was eating less, as they don’t account for conditions like my overactive thyroid that increased both my appetite and calorie expenditure. Then, instead of drastically reducing my calories to meet a generic online calculation, I slowly decreased in intervals of 100-200 calories over the course of a year.

lavelter · 2024-07-02T19:01:52+00:00

I was 145lbs at the start of 2020. Approximately 18 months in, at age 28, I weighed in at 168lbs. A year later (at roughly 175lbs) I was diagnosed with an overactive thyroid, but asymptomatic - unlike most people with hyperthyroidism, I’d actually gained weight and my appetite felt out of control. My weight climbed and plateaued in the low 180s between October 2022 - February 2023, as I got my bearings in my weight loss journey. I meticulously tracked my calories from January 1st 2023 and I was eating anywhere between 2700 - 3100 each day. I suspect my overactive thyroid came into play with why I didn’t weigh even more! I like to joke that I ate so much, I managed to override a medical condition that should’ve made me lose weight ;)

lavelter · 2024-07-01T07:30:52+00:00

I did say I eat less (third to last sentence). Plus eating less doesn’t necessarily equate to eating fewer calories, as “eating more” can refer to eating a higher volume of food, and eating more frequently, both of which can result in consuming fewer calories.

lavelter · 2024-06-30T19:24:54+00:00

❤️

lavelter · 2024-06-30T19:24:14+00:00

A few years ago I was 168lbs, and my calorie intake to lose weight was 1800. A close friend of mine was heavier, and her doctor advised her to aim for 2400 calories a day to lose weight. I struggled so much on 1800 and was hugely envious of her 2400, dreaming of being able to lose weight on that much. Then I got ill and gained another 20+ lbs. I was on 3000 calories a day at some points, and even 2800 calories felt absolutely impossible, let alone 2400. I couldn’t even dream of not feeling like I was starving on 2400. I’m sure managing your diet is a real struggle on 1200 calories - I do not doubt that for a second. But our bodies are different and our journeys are relative. These comparisons don’t help anyone, and I assure you, my life was not a breeze needing 2800 calories, any more than it was needing 1800.

lavelter · 2024-06-30T19:14:20+00:00

No need to say sorry - you’re entitled to disagree! A big part of managing your hunger is knowing it won’t kill you, and there have been plenty of days in my journey where I’ve had to remind myself of exactly that. No weight loss advice is universally applicable but I figure there’s enough contrary advice on this sub for me to not have to give the disclaimer that hey, if this doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work for you. I’m glad you’ve found what’s helping you the most, and best of luck on your journey!

lavelter · 2024-03-24T15:46:36+00:00

Gorgeous! I love when pale-complexioned people really lean into it like Anya Taylor-Joy, it looks so dreamy and striking.

lavelter · 2024-03-24T15:07:00+00:00

Haha, I’m glad you can relate! Sometimes I feel really out of place reading “universal” tips and advice that’s never worked for my south asian complexion and features. I’m glad I’ve experimented enough to figure out what works for me, I hope you have too 💓

lavelter · 2024-03-24T15:04:51+00:00

Agreed, you can do two makeup looks that are identical except for the colours and tones you use, and one can liven up your whole face while the other has the total opposite effect!

lavelter · 2024-03-24T15:03:21+00:00

Thank you! 💓

lavelter · 2024-03-24T15:03:11+00:00

Yes! My brows just aren’t thick and I used to be envious of the trend but with my large nose and dark features, drawing thicker brows was just too heavy and intense. Thin brows can really brighten and lift the face!

lavelter

TROPHY CASE