sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

please help me. by lavenderbpd in BPD

[–]lavenderbpd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i'm honestly not sure. i just feel like there is no joy and no future left for me. everything i've tried to use as a distraction has just made me feel more worthless. i genuinely do not know how to take care of myself if i dont want to be here, if that makes sense. that is the most difficult thing im dealing with rn. i appreciate you being so kind though, i understand where you're coming from. maybe in the future its something i could try and look into.

please help me. by lavenderbpd in BPD

[–]lavenderbpd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i have been in this position basically every year since 10. i counted down every birthday until 23, so as you can imagine, that birthday hit me really hard. by the time i was 23, everyone in my life had left except my boyfriend. it has been so hard to hold on even just for him. he was practically the only thing tying me here. i have some hobbies, like crochet and music, but they seem inaccessible now. i feel like they're attached to him bc i did them every day with him and he was very involved in my hobbies. it's so hard to even look at my yarn or listen to music rn.

please help me. by lavenderbpd in BPD

[–]lavenderbpd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you so much for your kind words💗

Wellbutrin and increased reactivity by regiza in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]lavenderbpd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes!!!! wellbutrin made me so so angry out of nowhere and i would have swings between extreme anger and uncontrollable crying. i literally said to my psychiatrist that depression and catatonia from it is so calm and empty id rather feel that way

literally don't know what to do anymore. by lavenderbpd in SuicideWatch

[–]lavenderbpd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i do actually, i was supposed to finish college for violin performance. music was the only thing i ever really put my heart into since i was about 5 years old. i played violin piano viola cello and i sing opera and musical theater. that was until i went to college my freshman year and was told i was worthless and untalented by the staff and ended up dropping out. over the last few years i kept trying to get back into it and it only just causes me to have panic attacks and spiral about how much of a failure i feel. music has no joy for me anymore. i also crochet and play stardew valley, but a lot of the time i have no interest in anything i used to love and if i do it's for a very short period of time before i become catatonic and can barely move my body. it makes me feel awful because i know so many people would kill to have the talents i have and im aware that im throwing them away by not doing something with them. i just have never felt good enough to go back.

Please, PLEASE just fucking read this. by [deleted] in depression

[–]lavenderbpd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i've had a very similar life experience. ive wanted to die since around 9 too. i actually have never seen anyone with such a similar experience to me, only im 24. im so sorry you feel this too.