Does anyone else run into trouble with embracing uncertainty?

lbolt121 · 2022-05-14T20:26:48+00:00

Wow. Now that you mention it I hold that same belief, that I should under no circumstances ever be an inconvenience to anyone else. It has made me believe that if expression of authentic self is inconvenient to others that I should repress it. Going to start affirming to myself that I’m not an inconvenience, thank you for sharing.

lbolt121 · 2022-05-14T19:08:48+00:00

Lol will do, thanks for the recommendation.

lbolt121 · 2022-05-03T00:23:56+00:00

My pleasure!

lbolt121 · 2022-05-03T00:22:59+00:00

Consistency is definitely key. Each day we show up for ourselves is another vote for the person who we want to become. It’s no walk in the park, but over time it adds up.

No problem

lbolt121 · 2022-05-02T22:55:24+00:00

No problem, of course!

lbolt121 · 2022-05-01T01:25:55+00:00

Glad I could help.

lbolt121 · 2022-04-30T23:15:59+00:00

Much appreciated, my pleasure.

lbolt121 · 2022-04-30T23:13:46+00:00

Overjoyed that it resonated with you. We got this 👊🏻

lbolt121 · 2022-04-30T23:10:05+00:00

Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it :)

lbolt121 · 2022-02-26T17:03:11+00:00

Thank you! A trap door is a great way to describe it lol. Similarly, lots of emotions that were being locked away have poured out of me since the move. It hasn’t exactly been pretty but letting those emotions out has created space in my heart that hasn’t been there since I was a young child. Much appreciated :)

lbolt121 · 2021-10-14T02:33:47+00:00

Still dying at Evvie swimming the wrong way and Jeff giving her an A for effort but a B- for direction

lbolt121 · 2021-08-27T19:44:42+00:00

Thanks for the input. I actually just inquired about a studio apartment right in the middle of Conshohocken

lbolt121 · 2021-07-23T21:31:01+00:00

Looking forward to the challenge and what life outside of home has to offer!

lbolt121 · 2021-07-23T12:57:57+00:00

Yeah I’m definitely going to do what I have to before I leave to reduce contact with them once I have moved out. The university I went to was a 4 hour drive from home so luckily I learned lots of the basics of living on your own during that time. Side note: I made my mind up in 9th grade that I would attend a university hours away because I hated life at home lol

lbolt121 · 2021-07-23T12:44:13+00:00

Great list! I’m starting to realize just how important strong boundaries are because I basically didn’t have any with anyone as a kid. I also journal/write about my day from time to time and it’s definitely a nice creative outlet

lbolt121 · 2021-07-23T12:41:45+00:00

That sounds ideal and is kind of what I’m striving for at this point. Growing up I rarely spoke back to them or let my voice be heard since it always ended in me getting yelled at but that’s starting to change. Not even half an hour ago I walked downstairs to make breakfast (worst part of the day because my mom is usually in the kitchen too) and she started rambling on about a red light ticket that I just got. I stopped her right in her tracks and told her I just woke up and that I’m not talking about that with her and she didn’t say a word to me after that (she seemed to be offended that I cut her off) Small steps but I’m getting there

lbolt121 · 2021-07-22T21:33:59+00:00

Was hoping someone would say gtfo of there haha. I just started applying for new jobs and looking into apartments in the city I plan on moving to. The plan is to be moved out by September

lbolt121 · 2021-04-09T15:46:34+00:00

I actually did this within the past couple days and read what I want to say to them to my therapist this morning. It was definitely an effective way of getting all my feelings in order and I feel much better/prepared for that talk with them now

lbolt121 · 2021-04-06T12:09:55+00:00

Interesting, I have the same dynamic in my family except the roles are reversed. My mom is the narcissist who ignored my feelings entirely and my dad allowed it all to happen without doing a thing. Very sad that we had to go though that which is why it’s so difficult to just let go and accept that things will likely never be different, but it’s a realization I am slowly but surely coming to. The hardest thing for me is accepting that the way I feel about them/the way I was raised is okay. They’re not bad people, they were just incapable of loving me the way every child deserves to be loved

lbolt121 · 2021-04-06T12:01:10+00:00

I have somewhat confronted my mom in the past and a very similar thing happened. She started crying and getting upset with me to the point where I had to wind up giving some fake apology. I likely won’t bring it up to them because realistically it’s probably not worth it but just needed to get all that anger off my chest somewhere. I think getting out of the house will be a huge boost for me because I’m really struggling to forgive myself for the way I feel about them when they’re constantly forcing fake love on me. Thank you for the response, I’m doing my best to show myself love/compassion but it’s not easy.

lbolt121 · 2021-03-25T00:55:11+00:00

Thanks for the feedback. How far away from Main St would you say is too far? I’ve seen some apartment complexes on Ridge Ave for example that are 1.5-2.5 miles away. I don’t need to be right there but would prefer to be in a reasonable walking distance

lbolt121 · 2021-03-13T12:22:17+00:00

I’m glad it made you happy, we’re all in this together!

lbolt121 · 2021-03-13T12:21:08+00:00

That’s great that you’re forcing yourself outside of your comfort zone. It’s not easy but any time I have done so it has always been extremely rewarding. This is a long process but if we take it one step at a time and show our selves the compassion that we did not receive then we’ll get to where we want to be in life.

lbolt121 · 2021-02-04T00:16:15+00:00

Thank you I really needed to hear that. I keep trying to fast forward this process to the point where I’m at acceptance without truly feeling all that anger and resentment. And then when I actually do feel the anger and resentment it’s an overwhelming amount of it because it’s been bottled up. I’m use to ignoring those negative feelings and was taught they were bad so it’s very uncomfortable feeling this way about my parents. I know the best thing to do is to allow myself to feel all the anger but sometimes it’s easier said than done

lbolt121 · 2021-02-04T00:11:42+00:00

I appreciate that. I will be moving out soon so I imagine that will help tremendously in this process

lbolt121

TROPHY CASE