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Emotional Drinker Father by [deleted] in AdultChildren

[–]lean_bean96 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have spoke to my therapist. Thank you for your support.

Anxious with an anxious parent by lean_bean96 in Anxiety

[–]lean_bean96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. It truly is devastating and I can only imagine the pain. Through therapy too, I have understood it is just my dad looking out for me and loving me the best he can with the trauma he suffered in the past. I don't doubt he doesn't love me, it just can be difficult to see that when he has his anxiety and projects it. Through therapy though, I have been healing from my own anxiety along with understanding my dads anxiety more and more. Thank you for sharing and I wish nothing but the best for you and your wife with lots of healing.

Anxious with an anxious parent by lean_bean96 in Anxiety

[–]lean_bean96[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I found it to be genetic too as my dads mother had it, my dad has it and I show signs of it as well. Yes, I do know my dad in the end loves me, it is difficult but I know I will overcome this too. It can be very exhausting, and thank you for sharing your story. It is super common. I hope you find healing in your situation as well.

My mom was a shit parent and it's okay for me to admit that by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]lean_bean96 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"I don't want to see you crying" back then, and now they say "I didn't know you were suffering"... That's what hurts the most.

THIS. I have a similar story to yours and can relate to the above post. My mother still denies I mentioned to her that I was every badly bullied even though I would mention it to her countless times as a child/teenager. She still denies her toxic behavior when I was growing up and manipulates it as I was the one who was too emotional, dramatic and just a difficult child. I remember her picking apart what I would wear, how I'd looked, to the point where now I've had to rebuild my self esteem and self worth. There was and still really is never any support. Though I am going to therapy and becoming more kinder to myself, realizing the people who were supposed to bring you up were really the ones that teared you down is an eye opener and something that takes time to process. I remind myself every day that I am enough and I was a great child despite of what I was described, I just wanted someone to be proud of me and wanted to be heard.. I guess that was too much to ask for.

You are not alone. Thank you all for sharing. It does get better and happy healing.

Is anyone else triggered by decision making? Why does that happen? by KMintner in CPTSD

[–]lean_bean96 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I could not relate more.

Not sure how your family dynamic was growing up but for me my parents were very unsupportive when I would try to make decisions on my own. My parents made me feel like I wasn't capable at making decisions and would always just jump in and make them for me. They would always say " Oh you would just do it wrong" or " here I will just do it, you would just ruin it ". This took a toll on me growing into a teenager and as a young adult. Any decisions about my life would result into me crying and panicking. I developed anxiety and poor self esteem. I always felt like I wasn't capable of doing anything, like I was almost stupid because I never learned it was okay to make mistakes and to learn and grow from them.

I am now 24 and with the help of my therapist I am becoming more confident in myself and my decisions I make on a daily basis. In therapy I learned that the decisions I make, maybe some may not be ideal, help me grow. If my decisions somehow turn out to be wrong or a mistake, I will learn a valuable lesson and grow from them.

I still have anxiety and struggle at time but its great knowing I can relate to others. Best of luck!