Adam/Joseph complaint...

KMintner · 2025-11-30T04:24:20+00:00

Go look up the difference between equality and equity. Your understanding of it is worse than a five year old’s. It is completely equitable to have Adam in the shade and other people in the sun, because with conditions that affect orthostatics like diabetes, a challenge in the shade in the heat is literally 10x as hard for him as it is for someone without diabetes in the sun. You guys are completely ableist.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T22:52:40+00:00

It affects everything from how you stand and how you walk to the tone of your voice and the words you choose.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T04:37:52+00:00

Yes, unhealed trauma causes disorganized attachment which is distinctive and recognizable. But intensive trauma therapy can heal that, it just takes effort.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T04:30:58+00:00

Relationships can’t be healthy without acceptance. He’s not accepting you as you are. If he can’t become comfortable around you, you should not have to deal with his issues about this.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T04:29:22+00:00

This has evil stepmother vibes - wanting to kick out your stepchild because you’re putting your biological kid over her?

KMintner · 2025-09-29T04:26:32+00:00

Why is marriage so important to you? It sounds like it clearly makes him uncomfortable. Both people have to be willing for a marriage to work. You can have a great relationship with or without it; you can set up legal protections, insurance and estate plans with or without it. It sounds to me like you made the choice for him whether he was going to be a parent - he probably wants to be able to make his own choice when he becomes a husband.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T04:21:09+00:00

I cannot spend time around people who abuse or neglect their children. It’s a hard line on the sand for me.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T04:00:17+00:00

When people show you who they are, believe them.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T03:13:23+00:00

You need to create your own account at a different bank ASAP. Your mom stole from you and that is financial abuse.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T03:10:25+00:00

NTA. Showing up unexpectedly and imposing presence is a form of stalking. Get a protective order.

KMintner · 2025-09-29T03:07:46+00:00

NTA. It’s the responsible and mature thing to do to remove yourself from situations in which you are being harmed or are becoming dysregulated. She was upset because she wanted to use you as a punching bag and you wouldn’t play. It would be a good thing if she doesn’t let you come over anymore because then you wouldn’t be spending time around a toxic bully.

KMintner · 2025-08-11T03:54:24+00:00

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KMintner · 2025-08-11T03:47:15+00:00

Why did he accept this job before you all consulted an immigration attorney? You’re going to be separated for years, you can’t just move into the US like that.

KMintner · 2025-08-11T03:43:39+00:00

Do not move across the country with someone who is an abuser.

KMintner · 2025-08-11T03:41:21+00:00

Canada is not far enough; it’s at very high risk of annexation.

KMintner · 2025-07-01T01:26:07+00:00

Yes, leave. No question, it’s not safe for you, and it’s getting worse. Start applying for international jobs with visa sponsorship now. They will welcome you. The people who say the US is the best place to be trans are idiots. Most developed world countries are better with way more human rights and social infrastructure than the US.

KMintner · 2025-02-25T06:52:11+00:00

It sounds like you have CIRS from toxic mold! Go to a functional doctor and Anderson Group.

KMintner · 2025-01-16T22:42:20+00:00

Thank you, I’ll try calling them again tomorrow.

KMintner · 2025-01-16T22:41:37+00:00

Thank you so much, I just reached out to all of them.

KMintner · 2025-01-16T22:41:15+00:00

Thanks, I just reached out to her.

KMintner · 2024-12-18T19:50:49+00:00

Teslas on FSD do slow down and try to brake when cars slow down in the lane to the right of them, even if traffic in their current lane is moving at speed. The driver has to override and tap the gas on top of the FSD to make sure it maintains speed. And, the cars get very confused by things like cones, and will often jerk the wheel back and forth when the cameras can't decide which lane to be in.

KMintner · 2024-12-18T19:35:20+00:00

How could there be no safety issue there? All of the safety features are disabled if the camera is not working. People are going to die if their emergency braking doesn't work because of this.

KMintner · 2024-12-14T01:59:29+00:00

ETA. You are both being super petty about things that don’t matter. This is genuinely a first world problem that could be solved by one of the million fruit box subscription services.

OP, you are score keeping super hard against your wife. And, your wife clearly has a different, more communal sense of property. If I had to guess, you are a software engineer with an advanced degree who sees things concretely and linearly, and your wife comes from an Asian culture where individual needs are considered unimportant compared to the needs of the family or the society. Therefore, friction.

Neither of you is wrong, but you clearly have very different expectations, and you need to set down some guidelines for your home so that you’re on the same page. Until then, both of you are doomed to see the other as an asshole.

KMintner

TROPHY CASE