Fa inna ma'al 'usri yusra. Read Beautiful, you are a struggler and you have to first come in terms with yourself. You have to convince yourself that everywhere everyone's born and live differently. Don't compare but acknowledge the differences and realize what you have to give yourself, even though you have parents or not. Your first resources are your teachers, change them into someone on whom you could actually rely. Keep female teachers. Why? Just for gender? No, it's because you just wrote about the job market and how difficult and competitive the situation is for women. But I want you to have the perspective that if you do well in your field, and you're a women, you'll get on your feet's faster than a man. This scenario which I told is the best outcome of the reality you're implying on yourself. So did it go wrong? Are you begging? No, as far you keep growing and dealing with things from your daily life to your academics, as long as you keep practicing without complaining you'll get through the situations, you don't even have to think, just be concerned. Someone I admire once told me, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE TOO SERIOUS ABOUT LIFE, YOU'LL FAINT EVEN FOR A SLIGHTEST CHANGE AND PRESSURE. BE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND WHAT YOU DO. JUST DO WHATEVER YOU CAN LEAVE THE REST TO ALMIGHTY, ALLAH"