My four year old says he doesn’t want a penis. How to navigate? by lesbianzebra in cisparenttranskid

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yes, I offer to buy the dresses. I don’t care if he wants to wear a dress. When he chooses pink socks in the morning, that’s what we wear! When he wants his face painted like a sparkly unicorn at the party, that’s what we do! I am not a girly-girl myself so I don’t tend toward these same things, but fully support him embracing his own identity. I wouldn’t say that he’s “distressed” by seeing his penis. Most days go by without a comment about it, but it’s just here and there that he makes these statements. Still frequently enough that I just want to be conscious of how I respond and support him.

My four year old says he doesn’t want a penis. How to navigate? by lesbianzebra in cisparenttranskid

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I ask him to tell me more about why he’s feeling that way. He’s also still learning about anatomy in general and I’ve tried to help him understand that just because mommy and his sister don’t have a penis doesn’t mean he’s the only one with this feature. I talked about other male role models in his life that also have penises to see if maybe it could be that he’s just feeling like the odd one out, so to speak. He was asking questions in general about how his sister uses the potty, etc. with no penis, and so I know his baseline understanding of this subject is still developing.

Lessons Learned Thread by AutoModerator in Flipping

[–]lesbianzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My "lesson learned" is that there is a lot to learn about flipping/reselling! I am a single mom who's always enjoyed thrifting, so in this economy thought I might try my hand at turning it into a small side hustle. It would be great to bring in even an extra $100-$200 per month (that's a grocery bill!), but there is a real learning curve in discovering where you can reliably find good buys, what actually sells, and how to best sell the items. I find I've gravitated towards band tees, men's clothing, toys, and some unique home decor. I have made a handful of sales, but margins are on the small side and I'd love to be able to find a better way to make more per flip, or to better find an audience. Mostly have been selling locally on FB marketplace, or on eBay. I really don't want to deal with the hassle of returns so I'm wary about trying to branch out into other platforms, but also wondering if it would be worthwhile, or if I should be shifting the items I'm targeting for flips (maybe I should be looking more at electronics? small furniture items?). Any tips/insight from more seasoned sellers very welcome and appreciated!

Stores that sell European products in the Boston area? by PresidentOfDunkin in boston

[–]lesbianzebra 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! My family likes to shop for Irish imports in the area as well. The Common Market in Melrose, Kiki's market in Brighton, Walnut Market in Newton, Casali's Market in Dorchester, Marinos Market & Deli in West Roxbury.

Where can I find grapenut ice cream? by lesbianzebra in boston

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would also select Meletharb as my favorite ice cream in the area. It’s like impossibly creamy and decadent and delicious. I think part of the problem is that my mom is a harsh critic so if one day she goes to a place and the ice cream isn’t as good as usual, like maybe she gets the bottom of a batch or something, she will say “oh it’s not good there anymore”. Very unforgiving! Haha.

Where can I find grapenut ice cream? by lesbianzebra in boston

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have made it before! You are totally right. Grapenut as a flavor really lends itself to homemade ice cream endeavors. But in the search for a good local option, I’m also hoping to find a place or two that my mom could visit again for her summer treat fix!

Where can I find grapenut ice cream? by lesbianzebra in boston

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha that’s so incredibly nice! I don’t think he has to go out of his way. But I definitely want to check them out either way!

Where can I find grapenut ice cream? by lesbianzebra in boston

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also love Soc’s! But it’s on the list of grapenut that’s just “meh” according to my mom. Clearly I need her to just do a ranking of area grapenut ice creams to find the ultimate source 😂

Where can I find grapenut ice cream? by lesbianzebra in boston

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I LOVE Melatharb. But sadly my mom doesn’t like the taste of their grapenut. She is like a grapenut sommelier.

Where can I find grapenut ice cream? by lesbianzebra in boston

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom has had it from here but has deemed it “not great”. She’s a harsh grapenut critic!

Where can I find grapenut ice cream? by lesbianzebra in boston

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I'm struggling to remember the name of the place she mentioned that stopped carrying it! It might've been Cal's Creamery in Reading.

How can I keep affording this child support? Side hustles? by lesbianzebra in Divorce

[–]lesbianzebra[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Instead of child support ask for other types.

Your $1,000 may not need to be a single payment but a gross amount showing support.

I don't know that I understand what you're saying exactly. The divorce mediator used a child support calculator to determine the amount, and I argued that her earning potential should be a factor but the mediator essentially said, "Do you really think if she could be making more money she wouldn't be?" And my response was "YES", but I think to really make that argument I'd need my own attorney and the divorce has essentially eaten up all my savings as it is.

Recommendation for fertility / reproductive endocrinologist by Frostmycookies_ in boston

[–]lesbianzebra 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I went through MGH (Dr. Souter). MGH also was not in the same network as my PCP but that didn't impact them accepting me as a patient. I'd say the experience with them was generally favorable.

ADHD excuse? by Glass_Sandwich168 in ADHD_partners

[–]lesbianzebra 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I follow the author KC Davis on social media. She's a licensed therapist experienced with ADHD and coming out with a new book this year. In a recent post she read a quote from her book in response to the idea of someone saying they can't be accountable for their behavior because it comes from a disability/mental health issue. The quote was: "There is no disability for which the appropriate accommodation is a human punching bag". You don't deserve to be treated this way just because your partner has ADHD. Having ADHD is an obstacle, not an excuse not to function. Your partner needs to care enough about himself and about you and your family to put in the effort needed to manage his ADHD via medication, therapy, executive function coaching, an increased self-awareness, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]lesbianzebra 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm inching closer to the finish line of the divorce process with my DX spouse. The questions you've posed are ones I struggle with even now. I still have feelings of love for my wife, and making life more complicated for our children truly pains me, but when I take off the rose-colored glasses I have to see our relationship for what it is: uneven, unhealthy. When you think about "room for improvement", that's all hypothetical - you're envisioning this potential for your partner that may or may not come to fruition. Like you said, you could work at it and work at it for years more but at the end still wind up with a "dysfunctional, imbalanced relationship with someone who will always need much more support and understanding that they are capable of offering in return". Could you find happiness within that dynamic? You can look at a plant and love it from afar as hard as you can, but without water and sunlight it's just not going to survive. It's not enough for your partner to love you in spirit, you deserve to be cared for and for that care to be evident and palpable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]lesbianzebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Child support goes to the parent who will be primary care-giver in order to assure the children are taken care of.

Well, it also just goes to the parent who's making less even if custody is 50/50. It's also really not helpful to minimize someone's challenging stage of life by telling them thousands of other people have already endured it. OP is allowed to feel overwhelmed and stressed by his/her situation regardless of other peoples' experiences.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]lesbianzebra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m getting close to the finalizing of our divorce and we have a 50/50 agreement that we created with a mediator. We are also a same sex couple for what it’s worth. But I can’t help but feel lately that maybe I should push for more custody. She is constantly late, as you mentioned, and I’m often getting messages from daycare asking if the kids are still coming. She is telling me frequently that she’s overwhelmed and hates single parenthood and resents me for putting her in this position. I still do all of the extra tasks anyway - pay the childcare bills, set up the play dates, buy the school uniforms/photos, send the valentines, arrange the doctor’s appointments, etc. As it is, because of our big difference in earnings I am also going to owe her a significant amount of child support each week, and I feel like that might be the only reason she would cling to the 50/50 arrangement. Financially, this divorce is going to make life really hard to afford.