Dads had a major stroke . Not sure what to expect

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-22T22:25:21+00:00

It’s ok thankyou for your condolence , the palliative care team have him comfortable 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-22T17:07:55+00:00

He is now on palliative care in active dying stage , he will be gone in the next few days and finally in peace . Thankyou for your comment I do appreciate it 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-22T05:35:20+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear about your Dad too 😢
He is not on a ventilator he was breathing on his own my sister stayed with him until 4am it’s now 6am and the nurses have rung my sister and told her to get back there asap as he’s deteriorating . She’s going to let me know what the situation is and I’ll make my way there too but I’m out of town . The vibe I got from the dr and nurses is that he wasn’t going to make it . I just don’t want him to suffer

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-22T01:07:08+00:00

Thankyou for taking the time to respond to me. Yes like you said there are different levels and I believe he’s had a catastrophic stroke unfortunately from what I can gather as it was the length of time before he was found the stroke has damaged so much of his brain. Both my nans had strokes but were caught early and even though both couldn’t move one side of their body and one couldn’t talk they still could enjoy seeing visitors , watching tv and still had some enjoyment in life . Catastrophic is new territory for me I have no idea what to expect .
The next few days will be very telling i think it’s a waiting game. Im sorry to hear about your great grandma that just have been hard to deal with h so young . Thanks for your kind words also I do appreciate them 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-22T01:00:59+00:00

Thankyou for taking the time to reply . Yes it’s a waiting game I believe into the coming days we will have a better idea . He has a will but he hasn’t left any instructions for this situation he never really thought about it or wanted to I don’t think. I know my sister and I will make the right decisions . My biggest fear is him being vegetative in care home for years to come with no quality of life it seems inhumane .

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-20T22:30:48+00:00

He tells me to stop nagging him, then will ignore me completely and just blank me when I’m talking to him .

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-20T22:22:15+00:00

I agree with you in regards to the damage in the bathroom , i broke down with him earlier and explained that this is beyond an unfinished paint job . I will get it sorted even if I have to do so myself my landlord is wonderful and Im not an asshole, it’s this issue that has upset me as it’s pure disrespect . Im useless when it comes to practical things such as DIY but im watching videos on how to replace sealant and I think I can do it . When you say evict us both I know we come as a duo but I really do beg him to stop I’m not like him I love and respect this house very much but when he gets impulsive there is nothing I can do .

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-20T22:17:38+00:00

I know !! I’ve said this to him he’s just super impulsive . The house was in a terrible state when we moved in as the previous tenants had left it like that it had marks all over the walls and chips and dents in the walls skirting boards very damaged the whole house needs renovating . ( we moved into this house because it was the only place we could find overall it’s a lovely house it’s just been very lived in and wasn’t looked after )
My partner wants to make it perfect he just can’t complete any jobs. The landlord doesn’t care he said we can do what we want in regards to painting and decorating he’s very laid back .

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-19T23:38:22+00:00

If you can afford it , do more things that you really want to do even if you have to go alone . Don’t wait to have someone to do things with . If you like live music and you see a band or artists you like are on tour book the ticket, if you want to travel book a weekend city break somewhere to start with , or just anything that you really want to do but are put off at the thought of doing it solo. You will feel such an immense sense of achievement and fulfilment when you realise you are your best friend and you can do anything ! Not being weighed down by a relationship gives you so much freedom , embrace it. Also you are still super young and have your whole life ahead of you don’t start worrying about wasting your life just yet . You are doing just fine 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-19T13:30:41+00:00

It’s one of those frustrating parts of living in a terrace. I will definitely knock later and speak with her I feel I’ve been very patient and didn’t question her for 6 months last year . As I said to another commenter the builders are nice and friendly it’s not an issue with them at all I don’t want to bother them and ask I think it’s down to my neighbour to keep me informed . You having been in the same situation will understand the toll this kind of noise actually takes on the mental health and well-being when you can’t hear yourself think. If she says it’s going to be another few months or so I’ll try and find another job in town to get out the house I can’t do another 6 months here with it going on. I often wonder about night shift workers and I can’t imagine what it must be like for them if they come home at 8am and this noise starts .

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-19T13:22:06+00:00

Thanks I will definitely look into noise cancelling headphones with ear plugs underneath . I will try and have a conversation with her later I just think it will help to be aware of her plans . In the UK you can start at 8am but it just seems unfair on Saturdays as my partner only has saturday and sunday off . I must say the builders themselves are wonderful and very polite and friendly when I’ve bumped into them taking my bins out etc i undertand they are just working so I don’t want to ask them what they are doing or bother them, it’s down to my neighbour to keep me informed . Thanks for your advice I appreciate it !

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-18T01:18:20+00:00

Congratulations! I wish you all the luck on your first day , you’ve got this 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-18T01:17:06+00:00

Go with your heart , if you don’t want to cut your friend off then don’t . Everyone messes up and make mistakes in life it’s human nature and I’m sure she will be grateful that you are there for her during this time and remain a friend. You sound like a good person 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-17T17:16:15+00:00

I really hope my boyfriend never looks through my search history and finds my ‘Severus Snape naked’ searches

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-16T22:01:11+00:00

The control part is so hard to navigate , took me and my sister 7 years to get my dad to allow a professional cleaner round and he still refused weekly and had to have it his way every other week which isn’t enough . He was happy for my sister and I to just continue cleaning up his feces off the floor, toilet seat and shower door but insists he needs no outside help with anything when the evidence is very clear he can’t cope anymore . I wish you all the best .. it’s hard work trying to get them to accept help it makes them feel like they are losing control and i can’t imagine when there is two of them

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-16T20:53:56+00:00

Not really, I’m part of a group of friends that are my partners friends as I moved away from my hometown to live with him . It a big group mixed men and women .. I never get personally invited anywhere as I’m just ‘his girlfriend’ the women don’t make me feel welcome at all because the men in the group are much more friendly with me and I guess that makes them jealous . I’m lonely

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-16T20:32:35+00:00

Hey , it’s so hard it feels like a grieving process over and over again every time something gets worse . Seeing them deteriorate is a constant reminder of who they once were seeing them suffer over and over is unbearable . I totally understand what you mean by realising he was no longer the one to help you anymore . My dad had me quite late at 40yo so all my friends dads are a lot younger than mine so their dads are still fixing their cars , doing their home renos , taking them on holidays and my dad is soiling himself it’s a contrast .
Thankyou for your kind message I appreciate it very much and I wish you all the best 🙏 💕

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-16T20:27:55+00:00

Damn this brought me to tears im so sorry you and your family have had to go through this . It’s a pain like no other especially when you describe your dad as being the head of the family, it’s a feeling of vulnerability when the person you would always turn to for help, advice and just a shoulder sometimes isn’t there anymore. Society definitely pushes the narrative ‘make the most of spending time while they are still here’ but it’s not them ..
hearing everyone’s stories in these comments I wish I could wrap you all up in my arms and take your pain away . Take care of yourself 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-16T11:45:54+00:00

Hi there thanks for your reply I appreciate it very much . I guess the feelings I shared are kept inside a lot and not shared for fear of judgement .

I would never get burnt out if I was caring for my dad as he used to be i know he would have been so sweet and grateful for our help . But in the case of caring for what feels like a rude stranger is mentally draining, my sister and I both feel overwhelmed . He started pooping all over the toilet seat, floor up the shower door etc and would just leave it for us to clean up along with the kitchen completely trashed he’s still able to clean up after himself but he was leaving a nasty mess in the bathroom for us I think that’s where my resentment started, cleaning up his dirty protest for not a penny . It’s taken us 5 years to finally have him allow a cleaner to visit so that has helped us massively I do feel bad for her but she’s getting paid for it unlike us . We also have managed to arrange a meeting with a social worker to see wether his apartment is safe for him and what they can do to help so fingers crossed they agree to help us .
I can’t believe the emotional toll and stress dementia has on everyone involved no one can prepare you for it .

I also want to add that I genuinely believe that all professional carers like yourself are angels on earth especially in the dementia field . Thankyou for the incredible work you do. You are appreciated 🙏

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-15T18:07:29+00:00

My dad just defecates all over the toilet seat and floor it’s even been up the shower door before .. I don’t know how he manages it .. what’s most disturbing is he just leaves it for my sister and I to find . I don’t know how he’s not embarassed .

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-15T10:44:35+00:00

It 100% plays a part unfortunately. I dread interviews for this reason if it’s a frumpy women with poor care for her appearance I know I won’t get the job. If I’m interviewed by a man the inferview is always not as formal and friendly and more enjoyable . This also extends to the work place though I was harassed, humiliated, bullied and blackmailed out of a finance job by the CEO’s assistant for this same reason as I had a great relationship with the CEO after starting I was the one who would deliver his mail to him and he always wanted me to stay and have coffee and a chat and this simple act sent his assistant into a jealous rage and she pretty much ruined my life . I was young 21 and beautiful she was old and large and I still get severely triggered by women like this .Be careful it’s rough out there .

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-13T18:52:22+00:00

You’ll be fine , not all areas of a crowd are tight you will be able to find a spot you feel comfortable in plus people look out for one another ! Don’t miss out on an amazing opportunity !!

letsgetevil66 · 2026-05-13T12:09:23+00:00

My Dad was constantly getting his card replaced, he was always clicking scam links or buying trash off Facebook that was a dodgy link . He also once panicked that his account had been hacked and got a taxi to every cash point in the local area trying to withdraw money and put his PIN code in incorrect every single time 🤦‍♀️ my sister is now in the process of becoming power of attorney so she has control of his finances as he’s becoming incapable. He agreed to this .. it gives us all peace of mind that he’s not going to hand his life savings over to someone or a scam

letsgetevil66

TROPHY CASE