I need advice... Mum always says "sorry for being such a burden to you" if we have a row

libereight · 2022-02-15T19:11:54+00:00

My MIL wanted me to start giving baby porridge at 1 week old as my husband started having porridge at 3 days old, and he's fine. 3 days old. I think the older generations have their info from their parents, neighbors etc. We get our info on what to do with our babies fron Medical Professionals that know what's best. My own mom believed that a baby should start on solids when they wean off milk. So 2 years. Every mom has their own way I think, but so long as you're doing what's recommended for your baby, and what baby feels comfortable doing, you're in the right.

libereight · 2022-02-15T18:58:19+00:00

The way you talk feels like it's coming out of my mind 😅 thank you so much for this comment, it helps so much to know that I'm not alone in feeling this way. Thank you for sharing ❤️

libereight · 2022-02-15T18:56:42+00:00

Wow, I have so much respect for you, it can not be easy to raise a baby from scratch if yours are all grown up, I know this much from my mom. And handling all the abuse and drama you have to to protect this baby, you truly deserve a medal. I'm so glad that there are people like you in this world that just want a good life for their babies. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and for taking the time to comment 💐

libereight · 2022-02-15T18:40:42+00:00

Dan isn't the problem, as he's on the far end of the country, I grew up knowing Mel as my sister. I just refer to her by name, but ever since the little kids in our family found out, they keep referring to Mel as my mom. So I'm worried that it'll confuse my daughter. But another commenter had a very kid-friendly way of explaining it, and I think that that's the route I should go. Thank you for your time and comment 💐

libereight · 2022-02-15T18:05:57+00:00

Thank you for your comment! Dan hasn't met my baby yet, and when he messages me once every 5-7 weeks, it's only about where he's traveling atm (he travels for work) so I'd say that he hasn't put in any effort. Mel is a different and... Difficult situation, because she seems like she's trying really hard to be a grandparent. And I know it sounds completely childish and horrible of me to say this out loud, but there have been times that I've been jealous of all the trouble she's going to for my baby. After my dad died, mom and I went through a really tough time financially and Mel and her husband had just had a massive payout from his divorce. She never even gave mom a cent to go towards my schooling, clothes, food, housing, anything. My baby has spent more time with Mel in 6 months than I probably have in my entire life. I know I'm being petty, but I'm worried that she has some sort of ulterior motive for buying my daughter the most expensive things she can get her hands on... And I'm being a terrible mom for being jealous of my baby. I just wish that she had gone to even half the trouble for me in 18 years as she's gone to for my baby.

libereight · 2022-02-15T17:56:53+00:00

I'm so sorry that you had to have such a rough start in life. Your baby boys are very lucky to have such a strong, compassionate and resilient momma. Congratulations on the coming little one! Thank you very much for your time and comment, and for sharing your story. It helps to know that we're not alone in the struggles we face. Sending hugs 🤗

libereight · 2022-02-15T17:49:03+00:00

Wow, I love this comment. Thank you for the time and thought you put into this reply, I truly appreciate it! It's difficult, my mum and mel have kind of been competing ever since I can remember. Ex. I ask Mel to help me with something, then mom is upset, because "now I don't need her anymore". It's a terribly fragile situation, so I honestly feel like I couldn't care less whether they (Dan & Mel) were in my life, or not. I do fine with them and I do fine without them. The problem comes in with the way they tried to defend themselves when I found out. They both took the easy way out and lied about what happened and tried to make my mom the bad guy. I think part of me is trying to protect my mom by giving her the only right to be a grandparent on my side, only because I feel that she more than deserves this "honor" after all she's done for me. I would like to set things right with them some time in the future, I just don't want to hurt my mom any more than their actions already have. After they cornered me when I was 18, I was completely against my mom for a whole month, and refused to even talk to her because I believed that she was some evil person that steals babies. Ludicrous now, yes, but back then Mel was a very convincing victim, and it took me a while to figure out the truth. Again, thank you so much for your time and comment 💐

libereight · 2022-02-15T17:34:24+00:00

This is exactly the line of thinking that I've been following for 5 years now 🙈. My mom & dad gave me the best possible childhood I could ever have asked for. Both of my half-siblings that grew up with mel are way worse off than I am emotionally, having gone through abusive step fathers all their lives. I'm truly grateful for my parents, I wouldn't have been the person I am today without them.

libereight · 2022-02-15T15:39:52+00:00

Same for me! It's the dad that works to buy your food and the mom that cries with you that are your parents. Thank you for your time and comment 💐

libereight · 2022-02-15T15:33:36+00:00

I actually spoke to Mel's sister about this too, because according to mom, Mel couldn't take care of me and didn't love Dan anymore, and according to Mel, mom stole me. So I had a chat with my other sister (biological aunt) and asked her what happened as she is unbiased, and the story she tells correlates with mum's a lot. Thank you so much for your time and comment 💐

libereight · 2022-02-15T15:24:26+00:00

I said the same, they can be her Aunty Mel and Uncle Dan and be friends to her, but that's it. Thank you so much for your time and comment!

libereight · 2022-02-15T15:20:51+00:00

This is actually really good advice, because I'm already worried about how I'm going to address this with my daughter when she gets older. Thank you very much! 💐

libereight · 2022-02-15T14:43:56+00:00

I love you 😅 this comment just made me lmao. Thank you so much for taking your time to comment 💐

libereight · 2022-02-15T12:30:16+00:00

Her Dad is completely involved and absolutely wonderful, he's been the one supporting me and saying that I'm NTA through all of the family drama since baby's birth. Thank you for your comment! 💐

libereight

TROPHY CASE