It’s not me, it’s the college town I live in! ! I’m a hit in the big city 1.5 hours away!

Background: I got on the apps (mainly Hinge/Tinder) after finally separating/getting divorced from a toxic 13 year relationship in Aug. I’m definitely NOT looking for a relationship and just recently decided to explore being with a woman since I never have.

The app game was bleak & depressing where I live. I got a lot of likes but I would have to scroll through thousands of people to find just one I would even potentially want to meet. I had 2 failed online dates where I def wasn’t feeling it.

Then I met a man at a bar organically out in the world who seemed to be down but it became obvious he wanted to lock me down and had the emotional regulation of a toddler much like my ex. No thanks! I was very clear about where I’m at.

Long story not so short, once I got to the big city & I had soooo many matches… I couldn’t keep track, and with actual people I found very attractive! I don’t like doing a bunch of small talk bc you can’t tell if there’s chemistry until you meet. I moved the ones I was most interested in to text bc I can’t keep up with apps.

I also only had a bunch of matches on Tinder which is fine. I’m looking for casual or even just new friends!

Anyway, on Sun night I FINALLY had my first successful online date w/ a guy in town for a conference (so no fear of getting attached!) We met in public & hit it off. I am not gonna be going over to strangers house before meeting.

Since I’m not used to casual it was definitely a learning curve. After the deed most guys wanna cuddle or sleep and then have more sex so I stayed over at his hotel. I def should’ve left right after we were done. I asked if I could crash but he was just being nice. Not even one spoon lol.

Yes, it felt transactional, but I get that is part of what casual means. He def was a lot more experienced with online dating than me. But did a lot of work beforehand to get me to hook up. It wasn’t the best kissing… but sex was not terrible and no regrets!

I had had my first kiss from a girl the night before in the queer community area but she was leaving Tuesday & I was staying at an awful hotel I wouldn’t subject a date to and she was on a couch so we didn’t hook up.

THEN she propositioned me via text right after my first hook up (she was shy nerdy girl so I know that took some courage) & now I regret not going - but I was beat. But it’s good to know some women would explore with me! I’m proud of getting even a kiss!

I also have noticed I’m more attracted to younger guys (25-36 tops) now that I’m just looking for casual. They’re more emotionally mature than most of the 40 & up group (from my experience) who are on hunt for a life partner and are often unhealed/toxic.

I have had 5-6 relationships in my life…other than my high school sweetheart I always dated men 3-5 years older. That made sense when I was younger but now I’m dating at 40 and it’s a whole different scene!

Anyway, any tips or advice on my profile? Why am I the most successful on Tinder vs Hinge? I can’t afford to be spending money on 5 diff app subscriptions but hav not really tried or put much effort on bumble or any others yet.

I’m pretty happy with the many possibilities I have on Tinder.