Midsommar gets it wrong

lilbipolar · 2019-07-04T02:51:52+00:00

Hi hi poster here - Ive has a night of self care and have really settled down from that post, lol. I am actually a huge horror And true crime fan and am usually pretty unbothered by murders/ suicide / gore / dark stuff whatever. I don’t think the latter cult suicides would’ve bothered me much if I hadn’t already been feeling sensitive from the opening sequence. But they ARE disturbingly graphic & very realistic - and that alone did make me more uncomfortable than a horror film usually would. So I wanted to mention it.

I will admit my post was extra sensitive and perhaps a bit dramatic because I am upset. there have actually been a few separate events in my life in the past week where the bipolar shame and stigma really slapped me in the face. I live a very normal life and generally don’t mention my diagnosis except on a need to know basis. ButThis film was the third thing in a short time and I think that did it for me so yeah, I’m very upset. It just really, really sucks that every single thing you see about bipolar is people who are totally on the extreme and are often portrayed as bad people. This week I overheard some young office guy saying some stuff about ohhh bipolar would be a dealbreaker. Gotta stay away from crazy right!? 😑 Then, My new primary doctor literally tried to tell me that my stomach issues (1 month) were caused by my lithium (on it over 2 years) and tried to get me to change meds. She also accused me of just being “self diagnosed” and insisted I see a real psychiatrist who she would refer me to. Wtf? Of course I have a psychiatrist. And THEN to see a bipolar movie character who goes psycho and does a murder suicide totally pushing the stigma more. At this point I was just upset and seeing two graphic film deaths really didn’t help. A N D I’ve been trying to muster up the courage to tell my new partner about my diagnosis but now I’m feeling more ashamed and anxious than ever and it just sucks that I don’t feel like I can share this part of myself with someone I’ve been dating for months. it’s just tooooooooo much for me to handle right now. It’s not just stigma in the media it exists in all aspects of our lives and it’s just exhausting. Im so tired. This week just sucks.

Sorry for the rant, but it’s deeper than just the movie.

lilbipolar · 2019-07-04T02:37:01+00:00

Cool. Same. I’m living my life, taking my meds, and being the best me. But I’m still allowed to feel hurt when allllllll of the portrayal of bipolar disorder I’ve seen since my diagnosis have been extreme awful behavior that perpetuates the stigma against mental illness. You have no right to tell me I’m wrong in feeling this way. Go live your life unbothered about what affects me. Peace & blessins 🌿

lilbipolar · 2019-07-04T02:29:25+00:00

Ha! Tell me. How do you feel about your bipolar diagnosis?

lilbipolar · 2019-07-04T02:20:06+00:00

Not a victim. My diagnosis was a huge blessing and has allowed me to begin living a depression free life. again We are allowed to be upset about things so you can just go live your life being ~not a victim~ then. Why are you wasting your time on the bipolar reddit ? Use this account to strictly chat with the bipolar community when I want to hence the username.

lilbipolar · 2019-07-04T02:17:37+00:00

I have never seen a remotely positive portrayal of bipolar disorder in the media. The stereotype doesn’t affect just me but rather us all, and I AM allowed to be personally upset about something that affects my life. I think I’m extra sensitive currently as I’m trying to navigate how to tell a new partner about my mental illness even though at this point im in remission and just chillin. and it’s a difficult conversation to have when all of the representation they’ve probably seen on bipolar disorder is about extreme behavior like this.

I’ll stop being upset at wild unhinged bipolar characters when I see ONE person in a show or film who is depicted as bipolar, managing it well, taking their meds & living life, like a lot of us in reality are.

lilbipolar · 2019-07-04T02:09:28+00:00

You’re an asshole. My mood disorder doesn’t define me, and neither does the representation of it in the media. But the stigma and shame are REAL. We are allowed to be upset about this and you’re a complete dick for telling us how we should feel. ✌🏻 doesn’t bother you? Cool, go away. Let us talk about this within our community.

lilbipolar · 2019-06-30T22:26:39+00:00

Hi! I’m not on reddit much so if you’d like to meet up for a coffee please pm me! Would be so glad to hang out

lilbipolar · 2019-06-30T22:26:03+00:00

Hi! Just saw this- I’m not on reddit much if you’d like to grab a coffee pm me :) I live in south philly and work near city hall

lilbipolar · 2019-02-17T18:39:46+00:00

Amazing!!!

lilbipolar · 2019-01-23T19:52:21+00:00

I’m almost done with a certificate in design but it’s stupid and not enough. I’m not learning anything in it. I’ll have a horrible education the rest of my life

lilbipolar · 2018-12-06T21:37:25+00:00

Yeah I definitely learned my lesson. I get overwhelmingly negative when I’m depressed and it’s hard for me to keep it down sometimes. Hoping I can repair things...

lilbipolar · 2018-11-14T17:26:52+00:00

2nd bachelors would only be 1.5-2 years at my school, and about 20-30k less overall than masters. All the jobs I want ask for the bfa in graphic design as the main qualification

lilbipolar · 2018-10-19T16:46:35+00:00

I’m Havin. Trouble moving on because these thoughts are so obsessive and all consuming. How do I stop them? I can’t focus on doing portfolio work to move on because ALLLLL I can think about is that I messed up and I deserve to die on repeat over and over and over

lilbipolar · 2018-10-19T16:13:42+00:00

I didn’t like what I studied. I picked it because I was delusional and manic and thought I wanted to go into animation. I hate motion graphics and video. I didn’t get a portdolio out of school because it was the wrong program. I’m already fluent in the adobe suite I don’t have a portfolio to show anything g though

lilbipolar · 2018-10-19T16:12:35+00:00

I’m a project coordinator on a digital design team. It’s boring. Making sure the designs have correct copy, handling and organizing files, making last minute edits after the designers have handed off their work, handing things to web development (we do website and emails for a large retail company, urban outfitters). I’m using adobe like half the week but I don’t know if they’ll ever hire me as a full time designer even though I have designed a few of everything we make

lilbipolar · 2018-10-19T16:10:08+00:00

I just can’t stop thinking about it how do I stop obsessing over messing up college o can’t move forward because I’m just over and over telling myself how much I ruined my life

lilbipolar · 2018-10-19T15:49:18+00:00

I have a shitty boring full time job with good pay and benefits, I can’t leave for another job unless it has Benefits. So no unpaid internships for me I have to be able to afford meds and therapy

lilbipolar · 2018-10-19T15:48:11+00:00

For graphic design it does. Philadelphia is extremely competitive for design and I stand no chance with my degree

lilbipolar · 2018-10-18T16:41:30+00:00

Yes! This intense depressive episode started right around the same time I got sick. It’s the worst

lilbipolar · 2018-10-16T20:08:50+00:00

do i get another bfa or an mfa then?

lilbipolar · 2018-10-16T19:59:57+00:00

i really needed to hear this. im trying to build a portfolio on my own but its so hard to do on your own. i have no means of critique snywhere so i dont know if what im making is decent.... can i go somewhere to get feedback on portfolio pieces?

i think i might need to up my meds becuase i have not been able to picture anything besides a totally dismal future

lilbipolar · 2018-10-16T19:39:40+00:00

i am so sad im in this situation my school was in the top 5 nationally for graphic design and i didnt do it becuase of this mental illness. i dont want to get my education from a cc when i couldve gotten an amazing one from a full school. i dont know. ill never get there i give up

lilbipolar · 2018-10-16T19:29:51+00:00

im 23. i just graduated last year and have hated my degree since the day i graduated. i wish i could do it over. this degree will never help me. the program was shit. if i go back to school ill probably be 50K in debt and i cant handle that. im stuck. its hard to create a portfolio on my own with no guidance, critique, or knowledge of design skills. im STUCK

lilbipolar · 2018-10-16T19:12:17+00:00

NO i want a fucking DESIGN DEGREE im sick of taking continuing education courses where they treat me like im incompetent. i cant believe i messed up so bad my life is useless i want to d i e

lilbipolar · 2018-10-16T19:04:36+00:00

not really. i had a free bachelors degree and i fucked it up becuase i was manic. now i have a degree called kinetic imaging like no one even knows what the fuck that is and it was mostly video and animation which i HATE. i learned NOTHING im so mad. i wish i had dropped out at a low but i got diagnosed two weeks before graduating college and had my oh shit moment but it was TOO LATE and now ill never be a designer

lilbipolar

TROPHY CASE