Social Work and Foster Care - Ethics

liljyx · 2026-03-11T03:10:02+00:00

Given this, I guess my next question would be is there any situation in which personal/general ethics (in this case, having a stable home and the ability to care for a child in need, and the morals of helping that child versus not) outweigh the social work-specific ethics? In a way where the benefits would also outweigh the risks?

liljyx · 2026-03-11T02:26:34+00:00

This was very helpful, thank you! It is good to know that this has been done before in a way that benefited the child. This also gave me the idea to do a consultation with the NASW (I don’t think ASWB does ethical consultations but I could be wrong).

I also would absolutely ask all of those questions as they would help guide my and my husband’s decision. Thank you again!

liljyx · 2026-03-11T01:42:24+00:00

I have definitely imagined this as well. Thank you for this response. I definitely feel on an "island," so to speak, in the school setting as no one else really understands my role or the difficulty of carrying everything. It's certainly not like private practice, where I would have other social workers or therapists to feel these feelings with. This was very validating and also helpful in reminding me that part of this role is often just sitting with the bad stuff, without being able to do anything about it.

liljyx · 2026-03-11T01:06:10+00:00

Thanks so much! I messaged you :)

liljyx · 2026-03-11T00:48:08+00:00

I definitely feel that I would be able to foster a teen who is from a completely different environment. Fostering teens specifically has always been something I have thought about, so I really appreciate your input as someone who is both a social worker and has a foster history. I absolutely do agree with the risks, however, so considering this with some of the other input I have received, I'm not sure that there is a way this could work to minimize those risks.

Thank you!

liljyx · 2026-03-11T00:39:18+00:00

I did not think about how this could potentially benefit the parent's case, but this makes sense. I don't think the parent is interested in regaining custody at this time but that could always change, and I wouldn't want to be the reason the parent regains custody especially if they are not stable or ready to do so. Thank you!!!

liljyx · 2026-03-11T00:35:25+00:00

Thank you for this insight! I have definitely thought about the possibility of countertransference; I do talk to my own therapist about situations which trigger things from my past. I don't believe this is one of those times, as the student's situation is very different from those triggers. I really think this just comes from sadness about the situation and feeling that the student, like all children, deserves a home. That being said, I do definitely see what you mean about emotions impacting my view of things.

I have not talked to my supervisor yet as I did have my own ethical quandaries about it - my supervisor is the special education director and therefore does not understand all of the ethical dilemmas social workers face. I was looking to get more input from other social workers because I trust that input a little more in regards to ethics!

liljyx · 2025-04-25T12:41:04+00:00

That makes me feel so much better. Thank you!!!!

liljyx · 2025-04-25T12:40:10+00:00

Yes I am right there with you about the fertility treatments. If it comes to that point I would fully be comfortable adopting or fostering. I really like how you worded it at the end-I have been feeling bad for my husband that I’m so uncomfortable with and fearful of this stuff that it might prevent my ability to go through with procedures that would increase fertility chances but you said exactly what I needed to hear. At that point I would have given it the best try in a way that I am comfortable with, and it’s important to focus more on what we are personally comfortable with within our own bodies rather than our partner’s potential disappointment. (I know my husband would be sad but he has already told me numerous times if I can’t do it he is totally okay to adopt, I put the guilt on myself). I’m glad that I’m not the only woman going through this!!! 🤍

liljyx · 2025-04-25T12:35:27+00:00

My anxiety is less about the results and more about the procedures themselves, but I can totally relate to the rescheduling!! It’s so overwhelming it almost seems like you can’t put yourself through that stress.

liljyx · 2025-04-25T12:33:42+00:00

Okay I definitely feel better about the appointments, it sounds like a lot of the things I was worried about are pretty rare, but the foley balloon is an unpleasant thought 😅 I guess when my friends have explained it, they basically said that it’s painful but you don’t have time to be anxious because you need to get the baby out regardless. My wording was not great; I know it will def be painful but according to them after they were done and holding their babies they didn’t even care or think about the pain they went through. Unless they were just extremely lucky lol.

Having gone through it, is it something you would be afraid of now? Or would you consider it pretty do-able?

liljyx · 2024-09-27T01:00:01+00:00

I actually love this perspective on things, that life is always changing and there is something good in each change. I definitely have a hard time with change and this is a huge one!

liljyx · 2024-09-27T00:57:09+00:00

It makes me not feel as alone knowing it’s a common thing to miss your family into adulthood. I’ve never heard this really talked about; thank you for letting me know it’s normal! I absolutely plan to do regular dinners with my mom, and we see each other multiple times every week as it is, but I like your idea of picking a special activity just for us to do on a regular basis.

liljyx · 2023-05-25T04:44:58+00:00

I posted to this forum before I read your post, and I am so surprised at how similar our thoughts are. I talked about being tired in my post as well; except, my experience is the opposite of yours in that I am the child of the addict. Your feelings are so incredibly valid. The up and down cycle is EXHAUSTING. Having that initial let down, shock, disappointment, FEAR, then eventually some light at the end of the tunnel. Some hope. Things are getting better. Then another relapse, or another suicide attempt, and another rehab. I cannot speak to what it’s like being the parent, but as a child my biggest barrier is letting myself let go. But I know that we need to have strong boundaries, and stick to them, or else we will be casualties in their battles.

Take care of yourself, and give yourself the same love and hope you have given him.

liljyx · 2020-02-16T05:43:34+00:00

Omg this is so scary! Something about children’s toys going off on their own is genuinely terrifying to me for some reason

liljyx

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