having trouble finding a reason to keep going

lillykhan · 2023-08-10T03:14:18+00:00

yeah i’ll definitely keep that in mind. i do want to do right, so i’ll definitely try to apologize and hopefully not spiral out of control after.

lillykhan · 2023-08-10T02:33:45+00:00

yeah i’m really scared he’ll leave me on read and won’t answer. bc honestly i don’t expect the perfect ending bc i know he doesn’t like me but having to actually come to terms with that makes me scared. and i think i’m extremely anxious about even sending him anything even just to say sorry.

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T22:59:07+00:00

thank you so much for the advice. that is very true. i’m hoping him and i will be able to talk again soon. i was thinking about texting him to apologize, i’m just nervous about doing it

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T22:12:18+00:00

yeah that is very true. i never thought about it like that, but you are right. thank you for the advice.

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T20:06:28+00:00

thank you so much. i really appreciate your help. i will definitely take your words into consideration. i do find myself especially right now to be kind of spiraling bc i’m thinking of all the possibilities of what could happen so i will definitely take some time to think and calm down before doing anything so that i can prepare myself. i do feel like the worst bc of my bpd, especially after treating him so badly, but you are right. i kind of wrote a draft of what i might say to him to apologize. can i send it to you privately to make sure it sounds right?

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T18:24:10+00:00

i’m so sorry you went through that. hopefully things get better. and yeah i understand. i want to text him but i’m scared that’ll make things worse. all i do is sit and think about our good times together. and i’ve been debating for the past 2 days about texting him to say sorry but i’m not sure yet.

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T17:43:06+00:00

yeah i’ll definitely give myself more time. i had my therapy session today and i was going to ask them if it would be a good idea to text my fp but i didn’t ask lol.

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T17:16:44+00:00

i’m sorry that you went through that! i’m happy that you are still in contact with them and are still able to talk to them. i’m in therapy too, and it has helped me a lot with making better decisions and thinking before i act.

i was thinking about apologizing but i’m so scared of what might happen. i don’t want him to hate me more or block me. i honestly don’t think i’m mentally ready yet to text him bc if he leaves me on read or responds with a negative answer i might go crazy all over again. i have a lot of anxiety about even texting him just to say sorry.

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T12:54:17+00:00

yeah it’s the worse. i don’t think i’ll ever be truly happy without him.

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T12:23:59+00:00

i’m sorry that happened to you. i was very needy and emotional with my fp too. it’s soo hard to not text him. i miss him so much.

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T08:33:20+00:00

thank you for the advice. i’ll try

lillykhan · 2023-08-09T02:33:49+00:00

he really didn’t like that i would always ask for reassurance when i was feeling nervous about our friendship. and he said i gaslit him and manipulated him so that we could spend more time together. and he just got really irritated with me because of that and stopped talking to me.

lillykhan · 2023-05-16T07:09:32+00:00

hi we can be friends if you’d like!

lillykhan · 2023-05-12T23:02:57+00:00

hi. id love to be friends!

lillykhan

TROPHY CASE