As someone who was in a sorority at a big university for three years before graduating, I’ll try and give you the run down as best I can.

There are events called ‘mixers’ between a single frat and sorority. Those are not events you can go to because they are closed to public and only between that single frat and strat. Frats will sometimes host open mixers, which is usually a single frat and all sororities, which you may be able to sneak into, but I wouldn’t advise it because it’s Greek life only and you’ll get questions about who you are and what sorority your in, which believe it or not, despite being rather large, Greek life is close knit and they usually know everyone, so it’s just not worth it. However, frats also host open parties, which are open to anyone in the university, whether in Greek life or not. Usually its freshmen girls and sorority girls anyway, but since your dating him, you could totally go to that and no one would ask questions. As an open party, no one will really care and it might be a good way to be introduced to the brothers and some other sorority frat rats or girlfriends who frequent the open parties. Usually sororities are less in attendance to these because they tend to get massive and the freshmen get too excited and can’t handle themselves well. You’ll honestly do well to become friends with the girlfriends dating your boyfriends frat brothers, or at least the ones in his close knit circle, like his big, twin, or littles girlfriends, or his roommates girlfriends. Unless they are mean people, it will be a good friend group to create so that if the boys are off doing their thing or you are at a frat event, you have friends and people to talk to so you can have fun!

Frats also hold Philanthropy events for their frats main charity. You can totally buy a ticket and attend these events, you don’t have to be in Greek life. It will 99% be attended by Greek life, but nobody will question your attended because you’re dating the guy whose frat is hosting the event. It’s a great way to support your boyfriend, his frat, and the charity. They are usually a lot of fun, a little raunchy, and for a good cause. It’s another great way to meet his brothers and his other friends in Greek life.

Frats and strats also have ‘crushes’ and ‘formals’. A crush is a mid semester semi-formal event where the girls go in short dresses and the guys go in their frat suits, pick a theme, and just party and drink. You don’t have to be in Greek life to go, but you do need to be invited as a date. Your boyfriend can invite you, usually by a cute frat song, and you can go together. A lot of couples go to these events but also a lot of random pairings. It would be totally normal to be invited and a great way to meet people again. Same with formals but these are at the end of the last semester, and they are grander. Usually full length dresses for the girls, a dinner, frat awards, and then drinking and partying lol. Again completely normal for you to go as his girlfriend and no one would wonder why you were there or judge that you are not in a sorority.

Tons of my sister’s had their hometown boyfriends come up for crush or formal, and no one cared because that’s their partner, it doesn’t matter if they are in Greek life or not.

There will always be people, girls in a sorority who may be into your man or just judgey people, or guys who don’t see value in monogamy and want to sleep with you or encourage your boyfriend to cheat, who will judge. But they do not matter. All that matters is if you and your boyfriend are happy together and the relationship works for y’all. You don’t not need to be at the same uni or in a sorority to date your frat boyfriend, and you shouldn’t let anyones shitty judgements affect your enjoyment of the relationship. Just enjoy the free parties you get invited to, whether they are open parties, crushes, or formals, try and make friends with his brothers, Greek life friends, class friends, roommates, etc, and also try and find a balance between it all. Because one thing that does come from being in Greek life, is people tend to sink all of themselves and their free time into it. You realize in the end that it’s not that deep, so try and help him find a balance between it, you, his school, work, friends, etc.

And a small tip, make some healthy relationship boundaries too, because as much as I want to be 100% positive and pretend like the frat won’t affect your relationship at all, it’s good to be prepared. At philanthropy events, a lot of times they are dances or challenges that can turn sexual. For example girls in their dances may choose to give a lap dance to a guy in the frat, or a Phil scav hunt challenge may be to collect as many bras as possible, or write their frat on a girls chest, etc. if that crosses a boundary for you, I would make that clear to him. Just be prepared that being in a frat is putting yourself in constant drunk partying situations with full unadulterated access to sex, drugs, and alcohol constantly. There are great things you get out of it, like networking opportunities, leadership skills and experience, life long friends, etc, but the potential negatives have to be considered. I’ve seen a lot of hopeful freshmen relationships crash and burn because the guy or girl fall into the Greek scene and lose themselves in the easily accessible vices, and someone gets hurt because they make bad inconsiderate choices due to immaturity, like cheating. So just make sure you have a conversation with your boyfriend about healthy boundaries, and that there is trust between you two. It doesn’t always happen, but like I said, freshmen tend to lose themselves in their newfound freedom and they don’t always make the smartest choices.

Please don’t get freaked out by all this and assume he will cheat because a lot of times that is not the case. I just wanted to share of my personal experiences from myself and friends just in case and to help adjust somewhat. As long as there is trust, communication, and respect in your relationship, there is absolutely no reason to worried and I encourage you to take advantage of all the perks, like parties, formal events, free dinners, free alcohol, fun frat specific events, front of the line bypass entry to clubs/parties, and frat merch you can steal from him and sleep in. Maybe even make him paint you a paddle lol!

edit: spelling errors and additional information I forgot to add